Are the children you parent YOURS? Or do to they belong to God?
In last Wednesday’s post, I mentioned that Psalm 127:3 says, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward. God creates children in the womb, beginning at conception, and causes them to be formed. Once they are born, our goal as parents is to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4), and their goal all the days of their life is to live for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). You see, God owns our children; they belong to Him. For by Him (Christ) all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible . . . . All things were created through Him and for Him (Colossians 1:16).
Therefore, the word “your” does not apply to the popular definition of parenting. Our children are not “yours,” they belong to God. That adds great weight to how we train them.
1. Parents, live and train with an eternal viewpoint.
2. Parents, prepare your children to leave home as God so planned.
In the context of marriage, God said in the beginning, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Leave and cleave! Simply put, a son or daughter will have a hard time obeying God’s command if parents are still “cleaving . . . holding on, clinging to, not letting go.”
A secondary thought is, a child should be so trained that when they leave home to follow God’s call for their life, they can cleave to the will of God without parents clinging to them in such a way that it hinders or even prevents obedience. Jesus said in Luke 14:26, If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
How do you prepare your children to leave home?
- As children age, give them more and more responsibility. Here’s a helpful link from Focus on the Family, Age Appropriate Chores for Kids. Make it enjoyable, not a disciplinary matter unless there is outright defiance/disobedience/rebellion. But even then, guard your heart because they may be responding to your “unChristlike” attitude (Colossians 3:21). Work was designed before the fall. How sad that people everywhere say, “Don’t work too hard!” Base all their labor on 1 Corinthians 10:31 and Colossians 3:23-24. Parents, set the example by being joyful, industrious, trusting God and not grumbling nor complaining. Walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16, 22-23).
- As you give them responsibility, within reason, let them fail. They can learn from their mistakes. The goal is not perfection but learning to depend upon the Lord. Therefore, when they do fail, use that as a time to teach, to disciple. Don’t always “rescue” them. For instance, if they don’t finish their homework or wait until the last day to do a science project, please parents, do not do it for them! Let them experience hardship, failure, the consequences. (My dad told me when I turned 16, “Son, if you get in trouble with the law and end up in jail. Don’t call me.” I knew he meant it. His words seemed harsh but they were weighty and spoken with a potential broken heart! I suppose he figured a night in the slammer would be a good lesson learned.)
- Pray much for them! Pray scripture for their growth in all areas of life. This is most important of all for them and you!!!!! (John 15:4-5)
- Do not live your life vicariously through your children. For example, if your son excels on the ballfield or academically, you feel like you’re a good parent, but if they fail, you’re a bad parent. Every child has been created by God with different likes, personalities, etc. The goal is to lovingly and biblically point them to Christ and His purposes for them, and not to live all their days dependent on you. The day will come when its time to totally leave the nest. Remember, successful parents do not exist; only parents that have experienced the grace and mercy of God. Parents, your identity is not in your children but in Christ alone (Galatians 2:20)! Watching God mature your children from a distance is a rich blessing!!
More, later on, but for now, mom and dad, prepare the child(ren) God lent to you to leave home some day.
Aren’t you glad that God spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all (Romans 8:32)?
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