Month: May 2014

So, how’s your marriage right now?  Is it a delight?  If it is, you have put much effort into building a good relationship.  You have worked hard at being the right kind of spouse and doing the right things.  Today, I want to share something else very practical that will make your marriage delightful.

Delight #4 – Stay connected

In two days, my daughter and her fiancée will recite their wedding vows.  They are taking this big step believing that this is what God has ordained, but also because they want to be together for many years to come.  They can hardly wait to live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, have the same last name (and how many of your girls got so excited about writing your married name for the first time?), etc.

But sadly for many couples, the excitement wears off and over time, a chasm comes between them.  They are no longer connected.  They don’t do things together; no more dates. They can sit in a restaurant across from each other and never say a word.  They may give each other a grunt when leaving the house.  They haven’t looked adoringly in each other’s eyes for years.

How can you stay connected?

• Say with meaning and heart, “I love you,” everyday and several times a day.
• Wink or look at each other with that “I’m in love with you” look.
• Let each other know what you are doing throughout the day via texts or phone calls.
• Never have a communication-less meal; talk to each other.
• Leave love notes around the house.
• Hug your wife and tell her how much you enjoyed the meal she prepared.
• As you are going up the stairs together at home or in the store, stop and enjoy a long passionate kiss; this is fun in a department store with escalators!
• When you are riding in the car, reach over and hold hands.
• Put down your ipad or smartphone and spend time with each other.
• Go to bed at the same time.
• Read a book together.
• Don’t grow old in your relationship; stay fresh!
• Pray often together.
• Touch often.
• Don’t let your precious children come between you.
• Make sure Mom has some adult conversation each day if she is home all day with babies and/or toddlers.

The living God, . . . giveth us richly all things to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:17).

So far I’ve challenged you to walk and swing together.  Here’s the third one:

Delight #3 – Have An All-Day Fun-day!

You need to plan in your monthly calendar a day for you and your spouse to just have fun!  This can be bi-monthly if need be.  Life today is so hectic, and often that is our fault, but we need time to just have fun all day.  If you can’t have an all-day fun-day, then have at least part of a day.  I promise you, your wife will appreciate knowing she has something to look forward to.  Guys, you plan the day even who takes care of your children.  As a side note, let me be quick to add that every day of your married life needs to have some fun moments inserted into it (i.e. a good laugh, a shared ice cream cone, fun at the grocery store, play a game, talk a walk, swing, prayer together, reading the Word, a wink, several kisses, etc.).  Here are some ideas for an “all-day fun-day”–

• Take a ride on a bike trail like the Creeper Trail in Damascus, VA.  Be sure to stop along the way and talk. Climb the rocks. Spend time in prayer.  Put your feet in the water.  Have fun!
• Spend the day at Dollywood.  Ride some rides and cuddle up!  Play a few games.  Attend a show.  Share some ice cream while seated on a picnic bench.  Just stroll through the park.  Take pictures.  Have fun!
• Ride the Blue Ridge Parkway with the windows down.  Take a blanket so you can stop along the way and stretch out on a grassy meadow area.  There you can talk, kiss, reminisce and eat your picnic lunch.  Perhaps take one of the short hikes.  End up on Mt. Mitchell and enjoy the view while eating supper at the restaurant.  Have fun!
• 
• Spend the day in Blowing Rock, NC.  Stroll through the stores and be sure to share an ice cream from Kilwin’s.  Sit on a park bench and watch people go by; always entertaining.  For supper, you may want to enjoy a fine meal at Dan’l Boone Inn, Boone, NC.  Another good mountain town to stroll through is Banner Elk, NC.  Have fun!
• Enjoy the day at home while someone watches your children.  Sleep in if possible and then have breakfast in bed. Spend time in the Word together, and then go to Lowe’s for some flowers to do yard work together.  Be sure to stop in a quaint restaurant for a sandwich or a great dessert.  When the yard work is accomplished, play croquet, corn hole, or some other game.  Whatever you do, just do it together!  Have fun!
• Have an Alphabet Day!  Do things all day that begin with the next letter of the alphabet.  This will cause you to work together and be creative!  Have fun!!

I’m sure you have other ideas, but the point is; just have an all-day fun-day!  It will have to planned, but will be more than worth it!!

You will find from the posts this week that the ingredients of a delightful marriage are found in the simple things of life.  Yesterday, I shared with you the delight of walking together.  Yesterday morning,  my wife and I had a special time on our country road holding hands and sharing with each other.  Today, here’s another way to make sure your marriage is a delight.

Delight #2 – Swing Together

I’ve just come in from sitting in our swing on the back porch with Denise.  The quiet, the view, the sunset, the chatter, the fun, and it was all found while swinging. Looking back over our married life, we have enjoyed many swings together.  Here are a few:

• By the lake at The Wilds (many, many, many times)
• At Harbor Town, Hilton Head
• The porch at Snowbird Inn
• Windover B&B
• On our back deck
• Several parks
• On the beach by the condo in Cherry Grove

You see, often it’s the simple moments that take your breath away, that bring delight.  How about looking for a swing and take some time to enjoy the view, talk, embrace, and be thankful for the grace gift of marriage.   Enjoy the journey.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth (Proverbs 5:18).

The wedding day countdown is moving quickly toward this Saturday night!  Even as I am preparing this blog post, mother and daughter are in the kitchen making some of the props that will add to the esthetic beauty of a girl’s dream wedding!    Preparing for a wedding reminds me of all the work put into making Thanksgiving dinner.  The hostess gets up early on Thursday morning to spend her whole morning and part of the afternoon in the kitchen so folks can gather for 20 minutes around a large table to consume a delicious meal and then head for the recliners.  For the last year, Alli, her mom and others have worked to plan and prepare for this Saturday night where people will come from all over to sit for an event that will last maybe 30 minutes.   You see, it is important to plan and prepare in advance for these events if they are to be successful, and it’s worth the effort.

Preparation.  Hard work.  This is a great precursor for a successful married life. As the bride and groom drive away from the church, their planning, preparation and hard work have just begun.  If they work at their marriage every day, they will look back over the years and say when they have been married twenty plus years or more, “Where did the days go?  Seems like just yesterday that we were married!”  If they refuse to plan, prepare and work at their marriage, twenty-plus years will seem like an eternity!

Last week, I shared five ways you can be sure your marriage will end in divorce.  This week, I’ll be sharing ways you can be sure your marriage will end in delight!  The wedding starts with great delight as the doors open and the bride appears (which always brings tears to my eyes). The delight doesn’t have to end with a brief wedding and honeymoon.  God has given us richly all things to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:17).  He intends for our marriages to be a delight and not a burden.  So let’s get started with that planning, preparation and hard work.

Delight #1 – Walk together.

Now my first suggestion may not wow you, but it is a simple, practical way to bring delight to your marriage.  Your  life is probably full right now, and you struggle for time to spend with each other.  If that is the case, and even it is not, set aside time to walk together holding hands, down a country road, through a park, on the beach, in the mall, or through the fields.  Take your time.  Stroll along.  Stop every once-in-awhile for a kiss, a hug, to smell the flowers, to look directly into each other’s eyes, etc.  Talk about the things on your heart.  If possible, do it without the children.  You need time to walk side-by-side and not ahead of each other or interrupted and guided by younger ones.  So, go for a walk today.  Enjoy the journey.  Just as you walked back down the aisle together on your wedding night, you just might find yourself walking right on for years to come, sharing and caring with great delight!