He Adores Her

Feeble and weak, he shuffled a bit wobbly toward the couch carrying a prized possession. In my 89 year old father-in-law’s hand was a photo mousepad. As he sat down on the couch next to me he said, “This is a picture of Mil (Mildred) and me after our first date.” He then proceeded to tell, with great delight, a bit of laughter, and a tear of joy how he got his sister to sit in the back seat of the car so the girl of his dreams would join him in the front seat. And as they say, “The rest is history.”

I’ve seen the photo and heard the story many times, and he repeated it to me again this time just like always . . . as if it were the very first time.

Why? My father-in-law adores his wife of 67 years.

During this same visit he said, “There’s nothing I would not do for Mil.” Knowing his days are numbered, he said, “I don’t want to leave her alone, to have to take care of herself.”

He has been an example to me for over 42 years as I’ve watched him love my mother-in-law with that twinkle in his eye when she comes near or by leaning over to give her a kiss as she is seated next to him or by placing the footstool under her feet as she watches the local news or as a retired engineer, coming up with new ways to construct something to make Mom’s work load a bit more functional.

How does a husband continue to adore his wife after so many years?

  • He grows in the knowledge that love is an action not just an emotional feeling (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).
  • He extends grace . . . giving expecting nothing in return (1 Peter 4:10).
  • He lives and responds graciously to his wife (2 Corinthians 9:8).
  • He forgives much and forgives all (Ephesians 4:32).
  • He understands that a marriage is two sinners in desperate need of the Holy Spirit’s power to overcome their old sin natures and to walk in Christlikeness (Galatians 5:16-26).
  • He lives the crucified life (Galatians 2:20).
  • He laughs with her, cries with her, hurts with her, carries her, serves her, shops with her, travels with her, prays with her, enjoys her cooking, holds hands with her, protects her, provides for her, makes much of special days with her, serves the Lord with her, never lets another woman come into the picture, gives her no reason to be jealous, attends church with her, compliments her, etc.

Dad Ray has lived out Proverbs 5:15-19 in adoring fashion toward Mom all these years.

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love

After hearing Dad once again recount the story of that first date, Mom looked at me and said, “Sometimes Dad will just sit at the desk and stare at that picture.”

He adores her.

4 thoughts on “He Adores Her

    1. Carrie, thank you so much for reading! Prayer is greatly needed at this time in their lives. Sure do appreciate you being willing to do the best thing for them . . . pray!!

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