One of the joys of my life is running on the nearby Tweetsie Trail in Johnson City / Elizabethton, TN. The views of the mountains, the trees lining the trail, the fresh air, the quiet, the deer and squirrels, and the bridges are all way cool!
Another joy is running with my son-in-law. He’s a great encourager as he runs alongside me asking every now and then, “You doing ok?” I’m sure he would run a fastest pace than me since he’s 35 years younger, but he stays right there with me until the last mile. That’s when he moves on ahead to our normal finish line of 4.3 miles.
He and I have run many times on the Tweetsie as well as in other timed races. His question “You doing ok”? is standard fare and reminds me of discipleship in another believer’s life.
You see, we are not okay if we think we can go solo in this walk with Christ. Besides the residency of the Trinity within us (John 14:15-24), we must have one another outside of us asking, “You doing okay?”
When you consider all the “one another” passages in Scripture as well as Matthew 28:18-20 and Titus 2:1-8, it is very evident we need our family in Christ to go beyond the shallow, surface relationships of what has sadly become normal Christianity. We need to seek it out and also offer ourselves in genuine love and transparency to encourage and edify one another in our participation with Christ in this life.
There have been times when Andrew asks, “Are you doing ok?” that I have had to declare, “I’m struggling today!” Or, “You go ahead, I’ve got to slow down. I’ll catch up with you.” Or, “Doing great!” There have also been times that I have done the same for him. We are definitely transparent with each other.
You see, running together makes this question mean something. We are both running for the finish life; we are on the same trail; we are pushing each other; we care for one another; we are involved in each other’s lives; we are sweating together; we know this is good for us! Discipleship is the life of Christ! This is what we are, disciple-makers. This is the core of life!
Who are you running with in discipleship? Who are you honestly asking “You doing okay?”?
This week, I had the joy of speaking with a man who has been married for over 60 years, and he said, “There’s still fire in the furnace!” My sweetheart and I will be celebrating our 40th anniversary in June, and we’re still stoking the fire, too!
How do you keep “the fire in the furnace” so your marriage does not grow cold and lifeless? Well, here’s a few tips that I hope will help. I’m sure I have shared some of these in previous posts, but we need to be reminded again and again to keep putting another log on the fire!
Work at your marriage every day.
Don’t let a day go by without kissing each other (ban the peck!), holding each other, complimenting each other, eating a meal together, sharing your heart with each other, and don’t let someone or something come between you; especially your children!
Do the little things.
Leave little love notes around the house or in the car or in his suitcase if he travels.
Bring home a candy bar for him or a dozen roses for her.
Send a text message telling each other how much you love each other.
Husbands, seat your wife at the table and open the car door for her.
Speak well of each other in front of the children.
Read the Word together.
Flirt with your spouse, and only your spouse!!!
Starbucks and play a game.
Pizza on china plates after the kids go to bed.
A drive through the country with the windows down, a picnic basket, blanket, and your favorite romantic music as you head to that secluded spot along the creek, in the mountains, or just down the road.
Movie and popcorn.
A stroll around the neighborhood, hand-in-hand, talking about why you love each other.
Share a sundae at Sonic and smooch like you did when you were dating! (And we know you did.)
Don’t be a fuddy dud, a kill-joy!
Laugh at yourself!
Walk in the Spirit (love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control)
Enjoy each other; enjoy being with each other; your spouse should be your first choice always as your dearest companion.
Stop at Chickfila, get an ice cream cone and sit outside under the umbrella tables. Enjoy sharing just the one cone!
Wherever you go, make it an event.
Make even walking through the grocery store or the mall with your spouse a fun time!
When you leave the house, tell each other how good they look!
Serve one another.
Make meal time, especially supper, a well-thought out time even with the children. Be intentional.
Pay attention to each other.
Serve together at church; put your whole heart into worship; wear it out!!
May I encourage you to take inventory of your marriage? Be humble. Be honest. What needs to change? God didn’t create marriage for man and woman to be miserable. As I heard years ago, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.” You will have hard times in marriage, but choose joy. Put these five things to practice by God’s grace and enjoy the grace gift of marriage for a long time to come!!
Go ahead; add another log on the fire right now! Keep the furnace hot!
To him, it was his “pride & joy”! Yes sir, the body needing a paint job and perhaps calling for a bit of other repairs, and not set up with dual diesel exhausts to blow people off the road as he passed by; it didn’t matter; it was his truck! 1989 Dodge Ram truck!
He pulled up beside me in the parking lot, jumped out of his truck, turned the hood ornament around on his hood due to being pranked, and then proceeded to join in conversation as we headed down the hill to meet up with other men for lunch at a weekend retreat.
Earlier in the morning, he had struck a good chord in my heart when he came up after I had spoken to the men about being a discipling husband. “Pastor, you gave the married men instructions about their God & I Time that applied to them. How about me as an unmarried teen?” Wow! A 17 year old, polite, respectful, trucker-hat wearin’, all-American good ol’ boy, desiring to apply the Word to his life!!!
Laster on as we walked down the hill to lunch, I shared with him some biblical counsel about dating and marriage as a follow up to our morning sessions. He listened intently as did his buddy. He took it to heart and in a few days acted upon it. Wow! A young man listening to someone 45 years older and then responding to the Word in a God-glorifying way!
This young man reminds me of the opposite of what I read in Luke 12:13-21 this morning. In the parable of the rich fool, Jesus tells how the fool laid up treasure for himself, so much so that he was planning on tearing down his barns which were insufficient and building bigger ones that would aid his life of ease. Then comes these telling words in verses 20-21, But God said to him, “Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided? So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.” This 17 year old young man has much more to learn in his growth in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18), but I will say for right now, he is becoming a man rich toward God (12:21).
He wasn’t driving an $85,000 new 2021 Dodge Ram 2500 Diesel which would make him “look” rich, be a treasure for himself and impress his friends. He may desire one, but his greater desire that day, and I trust in the days to come was to be rich toward God. May his tribe increase!!
My wife and I have been blessed to travel to many beautiful places in this world (Israel, Spain, Alaska, Maine, British Columbia, to name a few). Each location has afforded us some very special memories and excitement!
The best place that we have ever gone in our married lives, and we have gone there many, many, many times in our almost 40 years together as husband and wife is . . . The Throne of Grace (Hebrews. 4:16). The view from there is eternal, true, hope-filled, majestic, and absolutely transcendent.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Husband, Your Wife Needs You, sir, your wife is longing, perhaps crying out in prayer, for you to be her loving, servant leader, daily pointing her to Christ. Without reservation, I believe that joining with your wife in prayer is the best way to disciple her and sanctify her as her loving, serving Christlike leader (Ephesians 5:18-33).
Husbands, you should be the leader in prayer in both your marriage and your home, rather than your wife. Luke 18:1 – Men ought always to pray and not to faint! 1 Timothy 2:8 – I desire therefore that the men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting 1 Peter 3:7 – Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. James 5:16 – Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Men, your wife will embrace the security she longs for when you take her by the hands, kneel before her or sit beside her on the couch and pray with her at the Throne of our omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, living, holy God!
Ask God to help you pray with your spouse. Ask Him to give you the desire to pray with her, the place, the words and the wisdom. 1 John 5:14-15 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he hear us: And if we know that he hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.
Set some goals & boundaries. a) Keep it short if praying with her is a challenge for you, or if this is new to you. b) Keep is simple. Just talk to the Lord about what is on her heart and yours. c) Keep it safe. Don’t air out your offenses against your wife in prayer. This is not a time to fight, but to surrender in humility. d) Keep it supportive. Show great care in prayer before your wife and the One Who invites you to cast all your care upon Him (1 Peter 5:7).
Keep it fresh a) Pray Scripture. b) Pray before you leave for work. c) Change up meal prayers. d) Pray when a need arises; when she has a burden. e) Pray during a conflict; it’s hard to be mad when you are holding hands praying. f) Pray before you go to sleep at night. Make a call to pray with her even when out of town. g) Use prayer reminders (i.e. post it note on the fridge, mirror). h) Send your wife to a Ladies Prayer Advance i) Share your answers to prayer!!! j) Spend time in prayer just praising and thanking God. Make no requests. Try it and see how quickly you lapse into requests! k) Pray back-and-forth. Husband prays about something, then the wife, then the husband and then wife, etc. That’s really praying with one heart united in purpose. You see, prayer is a conversation with our Heavenly Father.
Heb. 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Husbands, your wife needs you to pray with her and for her; to go with her to the Throne of Grace. After all, you are one flesh, right?
“Prayer makes a godly man, and puts within him the mind of Christ, the mind of humility, of self-surrender, of service, of pity, and of prayer. If we really pray, we will become more like God, or else we will quit praying.” – E.M. Bounds
How does she need you? She is longing, perhaps crying out in prayer, for you to be her loving, servant leader daily pointing her to Christ.
How many times I have seen the wife leading the home because the husband will not take the lead. Sometimes the husband wants to lead but his wife won’t let him. Neither are submissive to God first so they can live out Ephesians 5:18-33.
Could it be, men, that you are making decisions all day at work, and you are just worn out and weary of that role when you get home? Maybe the home you grew up in did not manifest this kind of leadership. Perhaps you will be willing to say, “I need help before I can help lead my wife.” May I offer some suggestions?
The best way for a man to lead his wife is through a discipling model. What does that look like? Let’s consider one aspect of that today with more to come in future blogposts.
Disciple your wife in the Word of God. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:25-30).
Understanding that what I am about to describe to you will not happen, the following scenario motives me to loving discipleship of my precious wife. Using the analogy from the Ephesians passage above, just as the Church will one day, indeed, be presented to Christ in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, I picture myself holding my wife in my arms (which I still can do, btw) and presenting her to Christ, a lady who has been nourished and cherished in discipleship by me, her husband. I long to “present” my wife, my bride, to the Lord having done all to point her to Christ; to have given her every opportunity to grow in Christ; to have encouraged her in every way to be like Christ.
Leading my wife to Christ is the most important part of being her husband. In eternity, all the temporal things given to her will not matter (Proverbs 31:30; Matthew 6:33; Colossians 3:1-4).
Husbands, consider the following suggestions:
As you read and study the Word, be sure to share with your wife what God has been teaching you.
You could read a devotional book together in the morning before you head off for work. If your departure time is before she gets up, then call her on your first break and read the devo on the phone or read a portion of God’s Word on the phone and discuss it.
Take your wife to church every Sunday so she can hear the Word preached.
Read a good book together; perhaps one on marriage, prayer, communication, conflict.
Make sure she attends a ladies’ conference periodically to be refreshed, revived, and encouraged in her walk with God.
Participate in a small group Bible study today. Even if your wife has been a believer longer than you have, she needs you to lead her spiritually.
Don’t leave Christ at home when you go on vacation. Make your vacation a time of revival and renewal in your walk with the Lord. Choosing a Bible preaching church on Sunday is more important than your choice of vacation spot, restaurants and recreation.
Bring your wife her coffee, etc. in the morning so she can be encouraged to be in the Word.
Perhaps you have your “man-cave,” but make sure she has her place where she meets with the Lord every day.
Husbands, your wife needs you! Begin by discipling her today, leading her to Christ.
(The lake picture is taken from a house where Denise and I have the blessed grace privilege of going periodically to meet with the Lord to pray, study and grow together.)
Second time, I broke off a piece but was able to glue it back on.
Third time, well, look at the picture above!
When it happened last week, my wife was standing in the garage watching me. She threw her hands into her face and wildly gestured that I was about to hit the side of the garage door frame, but . . . it was too late! Me, well, I was absolutely frustrated and seeing dollar signs! And in Cunningham fashion repeating to myself, “Dear, oh, dear!!”
Bless her heart, when she got in the passenger side of her Jeep, she simply said, “It’s just stuff.”
There are so many applications to this story.
In eternity, it will not matter. Yes, I need to be a good steward of what the Lord has entrusted to me such as a vehicle because it belongs to Him . . and it is my wife’s Jeep! But it is just stuff that I will leave behind someday. So why get so uptight about it (Revelation 21:1-7).
Once again, the frail condition of man was on display. As for man, his days are like grass, as a flower of the field, so he flourishes (Psalm 103:15).
Plastic does not compare to metal. So much of this world’s things or desires are plastic and hold no value or longevity. 1 John 2:17 reminds us that the world is passing away along with its desires.
Just as the mirror shattered, so does some of the things in this life. As I read this morning, Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever (Psalm 125:1).
Getting old along with failing eye sight are reminders of a better day when Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him (1 Corinthians 2:9).
Everyday is a reminder of our total dependence upon God for wisdom, strength, endurance, and supply. I am weak. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him (Psalm 28:7).
Here’s another time to preach the Truth to myself and not listen to myself.
I am not in control of anything! Even my driving. Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor (Proverbs 18:12).
Although I do not drive my wife’s Jeep very often, and now you know why (hahaha), every time I look in that mirror, I’ll want to say, “For cryin’ out loud,” but I will be reminded of one or more of the lessons of life as listened above.
Might as well go ahead and enjoy the journey. We are not Home yet!
Communication! Wow! For 5 1/2 years this has been more of a challenge than it has ever been in our marriage. Why? Because of my hearing. Now, I am guilty at times of the “selective hearing syndrome” that we men seem to contract in older years. In all seriousness, my hearing is declining hampered in my left ear especially, and with my wife’s soft voice, . . . oh, brother!
One of most needed areas of constant attention in a marriage is communication. How interesting that I make a living talking, yet the lack of communication has been such a struggle for me in our marriage. I can talk the “hind legs off of a mule” but struggle to interact consistently with my precious wife. So, in a transparent fashion, I hope to help us in a crucial area of marriage.
Why do we as men need to take time, to make the effort to listen, to talk, and to thoroughly communicate with our wife?
1. Our wives need the security of our listening ear.
They want to know that what matters to them matters to us. They want to know that they are more important than Joe at work, Josh Heupel in his orange and white, and Michaels and Collingsworth on Sunday night! For many wives, if they are moms at home with little ones, all they have had all day is communication on a three and/or five year olds level. They need adult interaction when the hubs gets home without his iPhone, iPad and other distractions.
Ephesians 5:23 – God intends for the man to be the head, the leader in the home. Wives find security in our loving, servant leadership. One of the greatest ways you can serve your wife in a Christlike fashion is to talk and listen to her. Doesn’t Christ always listen to us?
2. Our wives want to know what we are thinking because they love us and intimacy is very dear to them.
1 Peter 3:7 – We will begin to understand our wives when we open up to them because they will feel free to share their heart since you have been open, honest and transparent with them.
3. Our wives need to hear communication that glorifies God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 – or whatsoever you do includes our communication with our spouse.
Ephesians 4:25 – Our wife is our neighbor and we are members one of another if we are born again believers.
Ephesians 4:29 – Good, grace-filled communication that edifies the hearer glorifies God.
Please do me a favor. Don’t make excuses or think my comments are one-sided. I realize it takes two to make a marriage, but the point of it all is, God expects us to lead and live with our wives as loving, serving leaders. Begin by simply taking 10-15 minutes-a-day to look at each other, no distractions, and listen to each other; talk to each other. By the way, remember when you were dating? Both of you would hang onto every word . . . even when you didn’t have anything to say on the phone, you just loved to hear each other breathe!!! 🙂
Get honest on your knees before God. Ask Him to give you strength, ears to hear, words to say, a humble spirit and a passion to glorify God.
This was one of the best moments of Men’s Prayer Advance 2021.
After our first session on Saturday morning, I went out to my car and upon returning to the church building and entering the foyer, this is what I saw.
What’s so awesome about this picture?
Men praying!!! Jesus said, Men ought always to pray and not to faint (Luke 18:1). How grateful I am for women who pray like portrayed by Clara in the movie War Room, but the leaders of prayer in every church should be the men. Charles Stanley puts it this way, Always remember that God is bigger than any problem you face, and the distance between your success and failure or your victory and defeat is the distance between your knees and the floor as you kneel before your wondrous Lord and Savior in surrendered prayer. You are never taller or stronger than while on your knees!
This is the will of God for men. We read in 1 Timothy 2:8, I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling. We are commanded in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you
This is what real men of God do.Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another . . . . The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much (James 5:16).
This is a demonstration of humility; of dependence upon God. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:5-7).
This is spontaneous, “let’s take it to the Lord in prayer.” There was a burden, a need, and one of these men took the initiative to lead these men to prayer. It didn’t matter what was going on around them, they went to the Throne of Grace. Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints (Ephesians 6:18). Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).
This is an awesome display of the unity of the brethren (Psalm 133:1). Paul encouraged the men in the church at Rome, I appeal to you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf (Romans 15:30).
Men, may I encourage you to be the prayer leaders in your family, your church, and wherever you go? When your wife has a need, stop and pray with her. When your children come to you asking for wisdom, teach them by your example to seek the Lord’s wisdom through prayer. When you hear of a need at church, gather some men together like this picture and pray. Instead of talking about the politics, perils and problems of the world in conversations at church, pray! Before you pray for your meal at the restaurant, ask your server how you can pray for them.
Men, today, let’s be a warrior on our knees; a real man of faith and prayer!! Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. (Jeremiah 33:3)
When a man is at his wits’ end, it is not a cowardly thing to pray; it is the only way he can get in touch with Reality. (Oswald Chambers)
Confession #1: I love the smell of a new book! Every coffee shop should have the aroma of Barnes & Noble!
Confession #2: I wish we could read by osmosis because there are so many books I want to read!
So, having said that, here are my top 3 reads for 2020!
#1 The Bible
Now, don’t moan and groan on this one and say, “Well, I figured you’d say that!” Seriously, let me share with you a few reasons why it is number one.
The Author is transcendently holy (Exodus 15:11; Isaiah 6:3; 57:15), righteous, (Psalm 11:7), good (Psalm 34:8), eternal (Isaiah 40:28), immutable (Malachi 3:6; James 1:17), omniscient (Psalm 147:5; Proverbs 15:3; 1 John 3:20) and true (Revelation 19:11-16).
The Author is omnipresent with me and in me speaking directly to my heart and life. (Psalm 139:7-8; Acts 17:24-28;
The Author’s words are absolute truth and always relevant to all of my life al the time. (Psalm 19; Proverbs 30:5; John 8:32; 14:6; 17:17; 2 Timothy 3:16)
The Author is reveals Himself to me for His glory and my good. (Psalm 46:1; John 16:13-15; Romans 16:25-26)
If these few are not sufficient, then read and reread Psalm 119. Meditate on it. Read it out loud. The Word changes lives!
May I challenge you to choose a Bible reading plan for 2021? May I also challenge you to read it to know God, to listen to Him speak through His words, and to see your daily life affected by the Author of Life! The best moments of your life for all time on this earth will be spent in His Word and in prayer. If you do not have a personal relationship with God the Father through Christ alone, then lovingly I ask, would you read the Gospel of John (4th book of the New Testament) and then the Epistle of 1 John located near the book of Revelation. How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth! (Psalm 119:103).
#2 The Saving Life of Christ, Major Ian Thomas
To be in Christ–that is redemption; but for Christ to be in you–that is sanctification! To be in Christ—that makes you fit for heaven; but for Christ to be in you—that makes you fit for earth! To be in Christ—that changes your destination; but for Christ to be in you—that changes your destiny! The one makes heaven your home—the other makes this world His workshop. (Thomas, p. 20)
The very essence of this book and the reason for reading it is wrapped up in the words of Evangelist Ron Lynch: In order for you to live the Christian life, you must understand that it is the Savior’s life. Christ gave Himself for you in order to give Himself to you that He by the Spirit of God might live His life through you. To live the Christian life is not for you to live but for you to die so Christ can live through you. You die to live. It’s Christ who manifests Himself through you that makes the difference. He does not do away with your individuality nor your personality, but when people meet you they need to meet Him. (Romans 6-8; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27).
How often believers are tempted to think in these terms . . .”I just can’t live the Christian life.” Friend, we are not called to life the Christian life. The truth is, Jesus Christ did not live the Christian life. He is the Christian life. Understanding your position in Christ (Ephesians 1:3-14), coming to know Christ (Philippians 3:10) and abiding in Christ (John 15:1-11), is the life to live.
#3 Rejoicing in the Christ, Michael Reeves
With so much of our attention in 2020 upon COVID, these two reads have reminded me of the Greater Subject, the Theme of themes, the Person of Christ. Also, in the midst of such sorrow, grieve, pain, loss, misunderstanding, cynicism, and human viewpoint, this book is about much-needed joy in the Christian life, about rejoicing in the Person of Jesus Christ as we share in the life of Christ!
What a far cry this is from the exhausting idea that Christ has done his bit and now it’s time to do ours! We are not chained to the task of trying to pay back the huge debt we owe him. We are united to the Son so we can enter into his life. Our joy, our prayers, our mission, our holiness, our suffering, our hope: all are a participation in the life of the Son. We are not simply given some thing called “eternal life” and then sent out to get on with it. We are not forerunners with final responsibility. He is the firstborn; we live in His slipstream. (p. 93)
What a truth!! We all participate in the life of Christ!! It’s not my life, but His life (Galatians 2:20).
Most of my reading this year was spurred on by attending the Men’s Prayer Advance and hearing Ron Lynch preach about the Christ Life. I would highly recommend you attending this year! Three days of meeting with God in prayer, worship, singing, preaching, praise, and fellowship!!! You will be changed for His glory!! Check it out by visiting christlifemin.org.
What books will you visit in 2021? Will you live in the Bible?
How does she need you? She is crying out for you to be her loving, servant leader! And, if you have sons, they really need dad to lead in the home!
How many times I have seen the wife leading the home or the husband wanting to lead the home but the wife won’t let him or the husband refusing to “step up to the plate” and lead.
Could it be that you are making decisions all day at work, and you are weary of fulfilling that role when you get home? Perhaps you came from a home where loving, servant leadership was not on display. Maybe, you would admit that you really don’t know how to lead.
May I offer some suggestions, some help?
The best way for a man to lead his wife is through a discipling model. What does that look like?
Lead your wife in prayer. More than being the leader in prayer for your meals, Pray with her in the morning before you leave for work. Pray with her at the moment she shares a burden with you. Pray with her over the phone when she is away visiting family, attending a ladies’ event or just from the office. Share your prayer burdens as well as your answers to prayer with her. Hold hands and pray with her every night before drifting off to sleep. The greatest place you could ever go with your wife is to the Throne of Grace together in prayer (Psalm 16:8; Hebrews 4:16).
Lead your wife in the Word of God. As you read and study the Word, be sure to share with your wife what God has been teaching you. You could read a devotional book together in the morning before you head off for work. If your departure time is before she gets up, then call her on your first break and read the devo on the phone or read a portion of God’s Word on the phone and discuss it. Take your wife to church every Sunday so she can hear the Word preached. Read a good book together. Make sure she attends a ladies’ conference periodically to be refreshed, revived, and encouraged in her walk with God. Participate in a small group Bible study. Even if you wife has been a believer longer than you have, she needs you to lead her spiritually. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:25-30).
Wives, may I say, let your husband lead. Encourage him. Build him up. Even if he doesn’t do it the way you think he should, be thankful for any advancement. Sometimes this is just rough territory for a man. Pray earnestly for him and love him! Trust a sovereign, omnipotent God to do His work in your husband’s heart. Remember, try as you may, you cannot change him. (If your husband does lead in your home, rejoice, encourage him, keep praying for him, follow him and be his biggest cheerleader!)
More on this discipling leadership in another post to come. In the meantime, may you both surrender to Christ working through you to accomplish His plan and purpose in your marriage. Because the tomb is empty, you have hope!