“Enjoying the Pleasures; Avoiding the Potholes”
Before we move on concerning the pleasures of marriage, let’s consider the last applications of a husband being his wife’s security/protection.
The fifth one is physical protection.
Prov. 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.
Eph. 5:28-29 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.
Husbands, love your wives and give them physical protection as a precious treasure. And, wives, let them.
- Be a gentleman.
- Give her a hand of security when walking together. Don’t walk way out front.
- When navigating stairs, give her your arm for security.
- Open the car door. If you have children, get them in their seats and then take care of your wife. Your children are watching your example. They are learning from your marriage.
- Walk on the street side of the sidewalk.
- Seat her at the table.
- Make sure your wife is served first. Men, you should be the loving, servant leader to your wife and to your family.
- Make sure she is taking care of herself physically by eating right and getting the proper exercise.
- If you see she is doing too much, help her say “no” to opportunities that will hinder her.
- In essence, be her knight in shining armor! Take care of her, nourish her, care for your treasure.
The sixth one is emotional protection.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Peter 3:7).
How many times in my life have a heard a husband in disgust or with masked frustration say, “You can never understand a woman!” Well, men, God said you can. So much so that He commands this to be your lifestyle, and with every command He gives grace to obey. You are to understand your wife; to dwell with her according to knowledge. Men, you need to know your wife so you can understand her.
Now, that’s going to take a lifetime of communication, listening, reading God’s Word, and walking in the Spirit, but it’s worth it!! After all, you do not want your prayers to be hindered.
We all have a deep-seated longing to be understood by at least one other person who cares for us and accepts us for who we are. We all enter marriage with high hopes for a deepening understanding to be built between us and our mate. And yet, all too often, a couple grows increasingly callused toward one another.
In American culture, for some reason, men are often inept at understanding their wives on a deep level. So there are disappointments and hurt feelings that never get resolved. The husband shrugs his shoulders, ignores his wife whom he doesn’t understand, and pours himself into his job, which seems to be something he can handle. She shares her feelings with women friends and gets caught up in the frenzy of raising children and running a household. And then the nest starts emptying and the wife starts thinking about going back to school and getting a fulfilling job at about the same time the husband realizes that he isn’t fulfilled through his job and what he really wants is intimacy with his distant wife (or with a younger version who excites him more). It’s no surprise that the divorce curve shoots up at this point in life. (Steven Cole)
Husbands, God fashioned your wife in an intricate way. She is not like you. That’s the way it’s supposed to be (Genesis 2:18). She doesn’t think like you, act like you, respond like you, or see things like you do.
Men, you have an adventure in front of you when you look into the eyes of your wife! Instead of pushing her away with your snide remarks, arrogant laughter, derogatory words or obvious absence, conqueror! Get to know and understand the way she operates so you can minister grace to her, and she can be that completer God made her to be for you.
You need to know her fears, anxieties, cycle, concerns, rhythms, joys, sorrows, hurts, desires, heart, spiritual needs, etc. That way, you know how to respond to her in an understanding way.
Set aside some uninterrupted time and ask her about each thing in the previous paragraph. You don’t have to cover each of them at one time. “Honey, what are your fears? How can I help with overcome them?”
Read Scripture with her. Pray with her. Don’t be ashamed or intimidated. She’s the other half of you (Genesis 2:18-25). The two of you are one.
She should be more drawn to you in her emotional struggles than to her family, co-workers, friend, or that man who’s paying special attention to her at work, or at the store, or even sadly, in some safe place.
Husbands, other than her security in Christ, you should be the only source of security/protection for your wife here on earth.
Go wrap her up in your arms, hold her tight, love her, and pray with her right now.
Enjoy the scenic route!