How does she need you? She is longing, perhaps crying out in prayer, for you to be her loving, servant leader daily pointing her to Christ.
How many times I have seen the wife leading the home because the husband will not take the lead. Sometimes the husband wants to lead but his wife won’t let him. Neither are submissive to God first so they can live out Ephesians 5:18-33.
Could it be, men, that you are making decisions all day at work, and you are just worn out and weary of that role when you get home? Maybe the home you grew up in did not manifest this kind of leadership. Perhaps you will be willing to say, “I need help before I can help lead my wife.” May I offer some suggestions?
The best way for a man to lead his wife is through a discipling model. What does that look like? Let’s consider one aspect of that today with more to come in future blogposts.
Disciple your wife in the Word of God.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:25-30).
Understanding that what I am about to describe to you will not happen, the following scenario motives me to loving discipleship of my precious wife. Using the analogy from the Ephesians passage above, just as the Church will one day, indeed, be presented to Christ in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, I picture myself holding my wife in my arms (which I still can do, btw) and presenting her to Christ, a lady who has been nourished and cherished in discipleship by me, her husband. I long to “present” my wife, my bride, to the Lord having done all to point her to Christ; to have given her every opportunity to grow in Christ; to have encouraged her in every way to be like Christ.
Leading my wife to Christ is the most important part of being her husband. In eternity, all the temporal things given to her will not matter (Proverbs 31:30; Matthew 6:33; Colossians 3:1-4).
Husbands, consider the following suggestions:
- As you read and study the Word, be sure to share with your wife what God has been teaching you.
- You could read a devotional book together in the morning before you head off for work. If your departure time is before she gets up, then call her on your first break and read the devo on the phone or read a portion of God’s Word on the phone and discuss it.
- Take your wife to church every Sunday so she can hear the Word preached.
- Read a good book together; perhaps one on marriage, prayer, communication, conflict.
- Make sure she attends a ladies’ conference periodically to be refreshed, revived, and encouraged in her walk with God.
- Participate in a small group Bible study today. Even if your wife has been a believer longer than you have, she needs you to lead her spiritually.
- Don’t leave Christ at home when you go on vacation. Make your vacation a time of revival and renewal in your walk with the Lord. Choosing a Bible preaching church on Sunday is more important than your choice of vacation spot, restaurants and recreation.
- Bring your wife her coffee, etc. in the morning so she can be encouraged to be in the Word.
- Perhaps you have your “man-cave,” but make sure she has her place where she meets with the Lord every day.
Husbands, your wife needs you! Begin by discipling her today, leading her to Christ.
(The lake picture is taken from a house where Denise and I have the blessed grace privilege of going periodically to meet with the Lord to pray, study and grow together.)