A Husband’s Discipling Leadership

Husband! Your wife needs you!!

How does she need you? She is crying out for you to be her loving, servant leader! And, if you have sons, they really need dad to lead in the home!

How many times I have seen the wife leading the home or the husband wanting to lead the home but the wife won’t let him or the husband refusing to “step up to the plate” and lead.

Could it be that you are making decisions all day at work, and you are weary of fulfilling that role when you get home? Perhaps you came from a home where loving, servant leadership was not on display. Maybe, you would admit that you really don’t know how to lead.

May I offer some suggestions, some help?

The best way for a man to lead his wife is through a discipling model. What does that look like?

  1. Lead your wife in prayer. More than being the leader in prayer for your meals, Pray with her in the morning before you leave for work. Pray with her at the moment she shares a burden with you. Pray with her over the phone when she is away visiting family, attending a ladies’ event or just from the office. Share your prayer burdens as well as your answers to prayer with her. Hold hands and pray with her every night before drifting off to sleep. The greatest place you could ever go with your wife is to the Throne of Grace together in prayer (Psalm 16:8; Hebrews 4:16).
  2. Lead your wife in the Word of God. As you read and study the Word, be sure to share with your wife what God has been teaching you. You could read a devotional book together in the morning before you head off for work. If your departure time is before she gets up, then call her on your first break and read the devo on the phone or read a portion of God’s Word on the phone and discuss it. Take your wife to church every Sunday so she can hear the Word preached. Read a good book together. Make sure she attends a ladies’ conference periodically to be refreshed, revived, and encouraged in her walk with God. Participate in a small group Bible study. Even if you wife has been a believer longer than you have, she needs you to lead her spiritually. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body (Ephesians 5:25-30).

Wives, may I say, let your husband lead. Encourage him. Build him up. Even if he doesn’t do it the way you think he should, be thankful for any advancement. Sometimes this is just rough territory for a man. Pray earnestly for him and love him! Trust a sovereign, omnipotent God to do His work in your husband’s heart. Remember, try as you may, you cannot change him. (If your husband does lead in your home, rejoice, encourage him, keep praying for him, follow him and be his biggest cheerleader!)

More on this discipling leadership in another post to come. In the meantime, may you both surrender to Christ working through you to accomplish His plan and purpose in your marriage. Because the tomb is empty, you have hope!

Who Will You Be in 2019? (Part 2)

all-leaders-are-readers

Our greatest and most important investment in 2019 involves our personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. The statement of the Apostle Paul found in Philippians 1:21, For to me to live is Christ, and in 3:8, 10, Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord . . . that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.

With that in mind, I want to share some resources to help you move forward in your walk with Christ, your growth in the knowledge of God and the application of the Word of God on a daily basis for 2019.

Besides your passion to read God’s Word in 2019, what else to you plan to read in this new year?

In this blog post, I am giving some book suggestions for men since my wife gave many helps in her Wednesday post for ladies: Suggestions for Books, Journals, Planners and More
Biblical Manhood

The Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling to Men, Richard D. Phillips (Reformation Trust)

Disciplines of a Godly Man, R. Kent Hughes (Crossway Books)

A Man After God’s Own Heart, Jim George, (Harvest House Publishers)

Biblical Marriage

Like the Shepherd: Leading Your Marriage With Love and Grace, Robert Wolgemuth (Regnery Faith)

The Ministry of Marriage, Jim Binney (Faithful Life Publishers)

What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, Paul David Tripp, (Crossway Books)

Biblical Purity

Finally Free: Fighting For Purity With the Power of Grace, Heath Lambert (Zondervan)

Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn, Tim Challies (Cruciform Press)

The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges (NavPress)

Biblical Dads

Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role In Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood, Robert Lewis, (Tyndale House Publishers)

The Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan (Charles Foster Publishing)

Parenting, 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family, Paul David Tripp (Crossway Books)

Biblical Church Body Life

Trellis & the Vine: Colin Marshall & Tony Payne (Matthias Media)

The Vine Project: Shaping Your Ministry Culture Around Disciple-Making, Colin Marshall & Tony Payne (Matthias Media)

Letters to the Church, Francis Chan (David C. Cook)

Miscellaneous

Experiencing God Workbook: Knowing and Doing the Will of God, Henry Blackaby (B & H Publishers)

Forgiveness: Discover the Power and Reality of Authentic Christian Forgiveness, Gary Inrig (Discovery House)

Power Through Prayer, E. M. Bounds

The Beauty of Intolerance: Setting a Generation Free to Know Truth & Love, Josh & Sean McDowell (Shiloh Run Press)

Stonewall Jackson: The Man, the Soldier, the Legend, James I. Robertson (MacMillan USA)

All Things For Good: The Steadfast Fidelity of Stonewall Jackson, J. Steven Wilkins (Cumberland House)

This list could go on and on, and I even feel guilty for leaving them out, but this is just a mere sampling of some good, helpful reads. I would also encourage you to visit the online bookstore of christlifemin.org and check out their devotionals, books on prayer, parenting, manhood, etc.

Indeed, “Leaders are readers.” Men let’s go against the grain and be men who read and lead! Are you ready?

The Influence of “Pasters”


Last Friday, the memorial service was held for a man, Dr. Rod Bell, that I looked up to as a young preacher boy.  He was a force in the pulpit with his booming, West Virginian voice accompanied with an extreme passion for souls, convicting preaching of the Word, and staunch fundamental stand.  As I contemplate his influence on me, I am greatly reminded of my own influence on younger men and boys . . . and it brings a solemn, soul-searching note to my own heart.  You see, many of the men I have looked to for guidance and wisdom have already gone to Glory. Often I find myself saying, “I wish I could ask my Dad a question.”  Or, “Wonder what Dr. Williams would have thought about that?” Or, “Sure wish I could hear Dr. Bob Jones, Sr., preach again.”

Now at my age, young pastors calling to talk with me, asking how I interpret a passage of Scripture, wanting to spend some time in prayer with them, and/or just to be their friend.  I remember those days . . . and I’m struck by the intense burden of being a godly, biblical influence; something that can only happen by the grace of God, the power of the Holy Spirit and Christ living in me.

The picture you see in this post is a sobering, but encouraging reminder of the influence we have on others, especially young ones.  A few Sunday nights ago, a 10 year-old boy handed this post-it note to me at the close of the service.  I stopped, read it, put my arm around him, and thanked him for his encouragement.  When I got home, I sat down and read it more thoughtfully.  How moved to understand what a 10 year-old sees as his “paster.”  If I can fulfill those six things by God’s grace, I’ll look forward to the Bema (2 Corinthians 5:10-14), . . . and will be with my dad, Dr. Bell, Dr. Williams, Dr. Jones, and a throng of other “pasters.”  “What a day that will be . . . !!!”