Marriage Moment #5

It happens in the midst of a crowd, while driving down the road, during small group Bible studies, or just sitting across from each other in the family room or a restaurant.

What is it? What happens? What is that moment?

It’s when we look at each other and make sincere, intentional eye contact.

When we were dating, folks might say we were looking “googly eyed” at one another! Well, you are right. Just as Google is the internet information highway, a look into my wife’s eyes was and continues to be full of loving, adoring, caring information on the highway of romance and relationship!

King Solomon says it well as he speaks adoringly to his bride. You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes (Song of Solomon 4:9).

When was the last time your heart was captivated by one look from your spouse? Perhaps your “gazing” marriage moments are captivated by your crazy busy schedule or by the demands of your children or by your full attention to your smartphone or by drooling over your new truck or by something else that has seized your heart.

If that moment of an adoring gaze is few and far between, then start today to do something about it. Take your spouse into your embrace, look into their eyes with a heart full of love and a sparkle in your eye? Share words of love and appreciation and then a prolonged kiss.

May your spouse say as Solomon, you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes (Song of Solomon 4:9).

What a moment!!

Finish Well – Part 2

Men, if the Lord permits us to live into our senior years, there is the need to finish well in life. As I noted in my first post, there are many blessings to being a male senior citizen, but there are things that can cause us heartache, disappointment, grief, frustration, disqualification as well as loss of testimony (1 Thessalonians 4:1-12) and reward at the Judgment Seat of Christ (1 Corinthians 3).

The first of three areas needed to finish well as a man is to be sure that Christ is our life. Second, . . . cherish your wife.

One of the saddest things I have witnessed over the years is married couples who are just existing in their relationship. Watch older couples at the restaurant; communication is at a bare minimum, perhaps a grunt now-and-then. The romance is gone, the spark is very dim, and the distance is long.

Yet, one of the sweetest things I have seen over the years is a marriage that continues to thrive well into 40, 50, 60, 70 plus years of walking together as one (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:8; Ephesians 5:31).

A particular couple I know have been married for 53 years, and he still looks adoringly at her from across the room or the table. He continues to use his affectionate nickname for her. They many times act like newlyweds. He even sings to her with his guitar.

Another couple that comes to mind have been married 65 years, and a recent separation between them due to a health scare has created a much closer bond between these two “love-birds.” They hold hands while seated side-by-side on the couch. He hardly lets his wife out of his sight. He serves her every chance he gets. Kissing is still very much in vogue. The spark is still ignited!

How do you cherish your wife?

  1. Pray often with her and for her. If the vertical relationship with God stays fresh, it will certainly enhance the horizontal relationship with your wife.
  2. Live your married life for the glory of God as a first priority (Genesis 1:27; 1 Corinthians 10:31).
  3. Your wife is not your enemy but your dearest friend (Ephesians 6:12).
  4. Spend time with other married couples whose marriages are flourishing (Proverbs 27:17).
  5. Although loss of hearing and/or sight may attribute to isolationism, fight it. Continue to chat, laugh, and be together! Proverbs 5:18 is still in the Bible, Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
  6. As a man, be gracious. Don’t be an old grump complaining about everything and being against everything, even wishing for the “good old days.” Be a delight to your wife and to all those around you. But as for you, O man of God, . . . pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness (1 Timothy 6:11). Allow the Holy Spirit to produce the Christlife in you of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
  7. Lead your wife closer to Christ through discipleship as you permit Him to shepherd you (Psalm 23; 2 Timothy 2:2; Ephesians 5:25).
  8. Show affection to your wife by holding hands, kissing, sitting together, complimenting her looks or the way she is dressed.
  9. Act like you never stopped dating!
  10. Laugh a lot! In these years, you just can’t take yourself seriously!! 🙂

Men, even in these senior years, cherish your wife!

Finish well
Every day that we are given
Finish well
For the glory of His name
Finish strong
Until the Savior finally calls us home
Give it everything we have
Finish well every day that
We are given
Finish well
For the glory of His name
Finish well

Finish Well

A few weeks ago, I was driving down Route 75 near my home in Johnson City, TN, and I heard the following lyrics on the radio sung by Karen Peck and New River.


FINISH WELL
There will come a day
I know without a doubt
Around the throne the saints will bow
And lay down every crown
How glorious that moment
To see Him face to face
To hear Him say “well done my child”
You’ve finished your race
But for now the sun’s still rising
There’s work to still be done
While we’re waiting for the promise
Of what is yet to come.

Finish well
Every day that we are given
Finish well
For the glory of His name
Finish strong
Until the Savior finally calls us home
Give it everything we have
Finish well.

There’s no truth in saying
We’ve seen our better days
These are the days to be courageous
Bold and full of faith
So wherever He may lead us
Whatever it may cost
Let the Church arise and lift
The banner of the cross.

Finish well
Every day that we are given
Finish well
For the glory of His name
Finish strong
Until the Savior finally calls us home
Give it everything we have
Finish well every day that
We are given
Finish well
For the glory of His name
Finish well

It wasn’t long until I had tears streaming down my face as the Holy Spirit took those lyrics and reminded me that as a man, a husband, a father, a grandfather, a pastor, a mentor, and a friend, I needed to be reminded, encouraged and exhorted to Finish Well. Since then, every time I hear this song, I am taken back to that location along Route 75 that God spoke to my heart.

Men, those of us who are considered senior citizens, we are in the last years of our lives on earth. We arrived here so quick it seems. There are many blessings to being a senior citizen, but there are things that can cause us heartache, disappointment, grief, frustration, disqualification as well as loss of testimony (1 Thessalonians 4:1-12) and reward at the Judgment Seat of Christ (1 Corinthians 3).

In this post, I want to encourage us in the first of three areas to Finish Well.

  1. Christ Your Life

At this age, we can be prone to think that our best days are behind us. That old age is our cross to bear. We can’t work like we used to. Our vision, hearing, and minds are failing us. We just can’t keep up with the youngsters. Bottom line, we are not the men we used to be. For many, we feel like we have basically lost our identity.

Well, I have good news for us. If you are truly a born again man, you have not lost your identity. Your identity is not in you and your old age condition, your identity is in Christ and it is as fresh as the day you were born again (John 3:1-16).

Men, the Christian life is . . . Christ (Gal. 2:20; 2 Cor. 4:5-7; 5:17; Col. 1:27-29)
In order for you to live the Christian life, you must understand that it is the Savior’s life.
 Christ gave Himself for you in order to give Himself to you that He by the Spirit of God might live His life through you.
 To live the Christian life is not for you to live but for you to die so Christ can live through you.
 You die to live. It’s Christ who manifests Himself through you that makes the difference. He does not do away with your individuality nor your personality, but when people meet you they need to meet Him. (The well-said bullet points are from Evangelist Ron Lynch.)

Truth is, Christ lives His life through us so much so that you do not live the Christian life. Christ did not live the Christian life. He IS the Christian life. Therefore, come to know Him, fellowship with Him, store up His thoughts in your mind, and share Him with others (Philippians 3:10; 2 Peter 3:18). As you come to learn of Christ and walk with Him, you will think His thoughts and your responses will not be you but the Christ in you.

No matter your age, the issue is Christ . . . your life (Galatians 2:20)!! So, enjoy the journey, men, and FINISH WELL!!


Marriage Moment #4

An enduring moment began in a house trailer many years ago.

Denise and I, like every couple, are a study of contrasts. Whoever came up with the idea that you find a mate just like yourself in every way to be your spouse? That would be boring!! Nevertheless, one of the many ways Denise and I came into marriage as opposites is in reference to the subject of coffee. To me, it was one the best aromas in the world but one of the worst in taste. To her, she loved both, aroma and taste.

Even though we started out as opposites in reference to coffee, it has now for many years become a daily, traditional, special moment. Her love for coffee every morning worked its way into the cravings of my life, and now I am an all day coffee drinker who anticipates this moment every morning!

Since the early days of our marriage, I have prepared the coffee each morning. First, I choose one of my wife’s favorite cups. You see, drinking coffee is an event, and the cup is very important as well as the process. The cream goes in first, then I use the frother because she likes a lot of foam. Then I slowly pour in the coffee all the while making sure the foam is rising. You see, I’m building up to the moment for the best part which is to come. As I hand my wife her cup of tasty warmth, that daily, ongoing marriage moment happens! It is when we . . . share three kisses that continues to brew love in our hearts for each other and says, “I love you!” (Three words, three kisses.)

Wow!! Coffee and kisses! What a moment!!

Rejoice with the wife of your youth. (Proverbs 5:18)

Another Marriage Moment

(Rough Ridge Overlook, Blue Ridge Parkway)

How do you have marriage moments when your spouse is out of town?

This week, my wife has been in central Kentucky serving her mom and dad along with her sisters as my father-in-law continues to battle congestive heart failure. I am so grateful she still has her parents here on this side of heaven and the blessed assurance of eternity together on the other side (John 14:1-6; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)!!

When Denise is away like this or out of town speaking at a ladies’ event, it is so important for us to stay connected. Therefore, I am grateful for our phones. We can text and chat whenever needed and best of all, catch up at the end of day and pray together. For all these years, no matter where we are, we make every effort to end the night in prayer. This is the most important marriage moment . . . when we pray together. We may be miles apart, but what a blessed privilege it is to meet at the Throne of Grace (Hebrews 4:16).

Men, do you pray with your wife? As I said in last Friday’s post, a moment by definition is “a very brief period of time; an exact point in time; an appropriate time for doing something; an opportunity; formally, importance.” Praying with your wife is always an appropriate action. It is a great opportunity to join your hearts together before the One Who is full of love, mercy, grace, compassion, and wisdom. It is a very important moment.

How about stopping right now or the very next moment you have and pray with your wife? Take her by the hands, praise God for her, pray for her needs, pray for your marriage, share your heart, and then expect God to hear and answer. If you are not together, then use your phone. If you can’t call, send a short text to say that you are praying for her at that moment.

Men, if you are not in the practice of praying with your wife, then simply humble yourself before the Lord and your wife and have at it today.

Growing, flourishing, and contented marriages are built upon intentional moments in prayer as you gather at the Throne of Grace.

Marriage Moment

Life is made up of multiplied thousands of moments.

A moment by definition is “a very brief period of time; an exact point in time; an appropriate time for doing something; an opportunity; formally, importance.”

Moments come and go. Moments can become treasures by choice. Moments can turn the tide. What moments have you had in your marriage this past week? Have you seized the moment?

Thursday morning, my wife and I shared in a moment that quite frankly fits into every point of the definition except for a “very brief period of time.” Usually Denise and I spend our early morning hours alone. I make her coffee and deliver it with a “good morning kiss.” Then we to go to our separate quiet areas to enjoy our brew. There we read and study the Word, transcribe our thoughts in a journal and then meet with the Lord at the Throne of Grace in prayer plus a time of exercise (she walks, I run).

Our marriage moment Thursday was an addition to our normal morning routine. After preparing breakfast, we gathered at our old oak kitchen table for good food and the reading of Paul David Tripp’s devotion, New Morning Mercies. Indeed, this moment was filled with encouragement, edification, sweet notes of love, prayer and intentional investment in our marriage.

You may not have the opportunity to have this kind of moment due to your work schedule and/or children in the house, etc. My challenge for you and your marriage is to intentionally seize the moment to be with your spouse at least for a few minutes each day. Men, in particular, look for these moments. Treasure these moments. There will be thousands of moments in your marriage lifetime.

What will be your marriage moment(s) today?

Faces

The first time I heard it many years ago, I was deeply moved to tears. It was as though I had written the lyrics. Ever since, Faces, has caused a mental review of nearly 37 years of ministry that stirs my heart and brings the tears.

I was reminded of Faces while ministering in Thompson, PA, Sunday, September 27th. The afternoon service was dedicated to the commissioning of Carl Butler, the new pastor of Thompson Baptist Church. Indeed, it was a joyful occasion! This congregation, without an under-shepherd for three years and now small in number, had weathered many storms. This day brought God-size hopes for the future.

The occasion at hand also gave the church family an opportunity to express their appreciation for every pastor and layman in attendance who had filled the Thompson pulpit during those waiting days. These men came from all around, some haven driven over the mountains on narrow roads to minister to God’s people over the years. Many probably came at their own expense. Some had to return to a bi-vocational job on Monday such as driving a dump truck hauling bluestone.

These men, the majority of them unknown to the Twitter feeds, podcasts and speaking circuits, have simply been . . . faithful. They have used their talents (Matthew 25:23) to serve their Lord in their God-appointed fields. As I stood in the midst of them as we gathered around Pastor Butler to pray, my heart was moved again. These are God’s faithful men. They have seen multiplied days of joy, thanksgiving, sorrow, testings, wonderings, answered prayer, misunderstandings, death, sickness, miracles, salvations, . . . and through it all, remained faithful “to plow the field and plant the seed.” They have remained faithful because God is faithful (Psalm 33:4; Lamentations 3:22-23; 1 Corinthians 1:9; 10:13; 1 Peter 4:19)

One day, on the other side, they will see the faces because they will be standing face-to-face with the One Who paid the price and accomplished the work through these faithful men (Matthew 25:23; John 15:1-5).

I dreamed my life was done
I stood before God’s Son
It was time to see what my reward would be
With love he reviewed my life
To count what was done for Christ
For that is what will last eternally

See I’d done my best to share
That Jesus really cares
And he would save if they just believe
Oh, but seldom did harvest come
And so few did I see won
Until the Lord said, “turn around and see.”

[Chorus:]
Then he showed me the faces of the ones who’d come because of me
So many faces that my life had led to Calvary
All those years I thought nobody saw as I labored in lowly places
That’s when Jesus smiled and showed me all the faces
.

He said though you did not see the yield,
You were faithful to plow the field
At other times you helped me plant the seed
No matter how small the task, you did just as I asked
And thanks to you these souls have been set free.

[Chorus:]
Then he showed me the faces of the ones who’d come because of me
So many faces that my life had led to Calvary
All those years I thought nobody saw as I labored in lowly places
That’s when Jesus smiled and showed me all the faces
.

Songwriter: Rodney Griffin

Sung by: Greater Vision

Listen to Him

Last night’s presidential debate, . . . well, what a fiasco! What an eye-opening view once again into the heart of man (Jeremiah 17:9).

How difficult it is to listen to three men argue, interrupt, accuse, disparage, and fuss! Proverbs 18:13 reminds us, If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

This past Sunday, I had the joy of listening to Carl Butler, the new pastor of Thompson Baptist Church, Thompson, PA, preach from Hebrews. The major portion of his message was seven reasons why we should listen to the Lord Jesus Christ.

As God’s final Spokesman, Jesus Christ deserves to be heard because . . .

  • He was appointed heir of all things (1:2).
  • He was God’s Active Agent in creation (1:2).
  • He revealed the Divine Glory (1:3).
  • He represented God’s character in the flesh (1:3)
  • He upholds all things right now by the word of His power (1:3).
  • He has totally purged our sins (1:3)
  • He finished the job and is seated at God the Father’s right hand (1:3)

Against the backdrop of last night’s disappointment and debacle, may I say to you today, because of Who Christ is, listen to Him. Men will fail you. Men are not omniscient. Men are fallible. Men are self-serving. Men need Jesus.

Open your Bible. Sit at Jesus’ feet (Luke 10:38-42). Listen to Him (Romans 10:17; James 1:19-21; Revelation 2:7).

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. (Proverbs 2:1-5)

(Debate pic from thinkadvisor.com)

The Monday After

“We had six saved today, three baptized, ten join the church, the house was full, and I had great liberty in preaching!” (A fake tweet that parallels the statements of some pastors on Monday after they have had “a ready good” Sunday!)

“We had a small crowd, no one came forward at the invitation, a section of the church was empty due to a group who left the church this past week, and I bombed my sermon.” (A fake tweet that parallels the feelings of too many pastors on Monday after a “rough” Sunday.”)

Before social media, I heard both of these kind of statements when I attended a local preacher’s fellowship or read a bi-weekly preacher’s newspaper. Now it’s in real time on Sundays and Mondays.

Oh the joys and heartaches, the delights and discouragements, the successes and failures, and the highs and lows of Sundays for a pastor!

But every Monday, I have to come back to the Truth. I cannot listen to myself. I must preach the Truth to myself.

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
6 He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
7 In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.
(Psalm 62:5-7)

And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. 19 And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. (Matthew 16:18-19)

For without Me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. (Romans 12:15-16)

Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave to each one? 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. 7 So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. 8 Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor. 9 For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building. 10 According to the grace of God which was given to me, as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on it. 11 For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 3:5-11)

And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence. (Colossians 1:18)

The “tweet” that will really matter is when we stand alone before the Lord Jesus Christ at the Bema, and we hear His declaration about the ministry that He entrusted to us. That’s when it will matter.

For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, 13 each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is. 14 If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss. (1 Corinthians 3:11-15)

So men, let’s press forward today in the grace of God as we keep the end in mind rather than our viewpoint or other’s tweets on Monday! Christ’s evaluation will be right and eternal.

What an Evening!!

It happened again last night. Three couples gathered on our back porch and had a special evening of fellowship, exhortation, encouragement, edification, laughter, tears, and sharing.

What made it such an awesome evening? Was it the back porch setting? How about the beautiful sunset? Perhaps the delicious cake and coffee? Could it have been the stories that were told? Indeed, all of these things played an important role.

So, what was the ingredient that made the evening so rich? Simply this . . . three couples gathered around the Word of God.

It happens every week. We open our Bibles, read through a passage of Scripture, and then work our way through the verses letting the Holy Spirit teach us in context, observation, interpretation and application. Never do we share “what we think the passage says,” but as the Author intended for us to understand. As the leader, I simply ask questions, explain some words, and guide the discussion, but it is the Word does the work.

Our lives have been so enriched by the Word! We have come to relish our familial relationship as brothers and sisters in Christ through the Word! The honesty and transparency has risen each week because of the Word! Then our time of prayer is one of precious communion prepared by the Word!

Whether you are involved in a small group or it’s just you and your spouse or your family or with your co-worker at lunch or in the church building on Sunday, the best gathering is always around the Word of God!

7 The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul;
The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;
8 The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;
9 The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
11 Moreover by them Your servant is warned,
And in keeping them there is great reward.
(Psalm 19:7-11)

Already looking forward to the next time we gather . . . around the Word!