Marriage Matters

Many times my wife and I have sat in a restaurant or coffee shop and noticed something that occurs way too often—a husband and wife eating a meal . . . and barely speaking to one another.  Both have their faces drawn like an upside down sock monkey.  A grunt or a head nod is about all that is offered to each other.

Another sight is a couple walking through the mall . . . he’s way ahead of her and totally removed from it all.  She could turn into any store without his notice.

And then, there’s the ride in the car that is “Silenceville.”

Now, much could said in reference to these scenarios, but one that comes to my mind that is sadly missing in way too many married couples lives is . . . they have forgotten how and/or have stopped having fun together!  When God gave Eve to Adam, He said it was not good for man to be alone.  He needed a completer (Genesis 2:18-25).  They had wonderful fellowship in the Garden until sin entered in.  Now, joy can still be a part of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit and with that, the enjoyment of each other’s company.  No matter what your situation is, you can still laugh, chuckle, wink at each other, hold hands, banter back-n-forth in good natured fun, and enjoy life.

Couples, don’t let your job, children, mental attitudes of bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and resentment, physical condition, financial crunch, empty nest, etc., steal your joy, your fun.  Surrender your burdens to the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7), and let the joy of the Lord be your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).  God created us to enjoy Him and one another.

How about going to the local coffee shop and take a game with you?  Make sure it’s one that will create fun and not serious thinking and no laughter such as Settlers of Catton! 🙂 Or, determine the next time you have a meal together at a restaurant, just the two of you, that the husband is turned away from the TVs and the wife has her cell phone put away.  Laugh, talk, be romantic, share, and . . . have fun!!!!


Marriage Matters: Little Things

Be Kind to Your Husband

Years ago I heard a song written by John Barber, “Little Things,” that I have never forgotten.  Within its lyrics you find, “Baby, it’s the little things that make me love you so.” Many, many times I have quoted that line to my wife. Let me quickly say that a good marriage takes work and attention every day.  A good marriage is not made up of a big Valentine’s Day gift or a huge birthday gift or an abundance of Christmas gifts.  A good marriage is made up of the little things that are done every day for your spouse; the little things that say, “I love you; I’ve been thinking of you.”

  • A text from work that reminds your spouse why they are so special to you.
  • Their favorite morning beverage brought to them right after they get up.
  • While they are in the shower on a cold, winter day, take their towel, put it in the dryer, and return it to them when they get out of the shower.
  • Write “I Love You” on the bathroom mirror with a dry-eraser marker.
  • Stop in the middle of the grocery store and enjoy a kiss right there on Aisle Four!
  • Just enjoy being with each other. Have fun.  Be all there in the moment.
  • Have prayer together before you leave for work.
  • Hold hands while you are worshipping in song in your local church.
  • When the invitation is given in your church at the end of the sermon, respond together by going to the altar and meet there with the Lord.
  • Sit together after kids have gone to bed and talk to one another for at least ten minutes.
  • Husband, seat your wife at the table and open the car door for her, even when you have children. They are watching and learning from you.
  • Look adoring at one another, a wink, a smile when you’re in the car or walking into the restaurant.

What little things have you done today?  Does your spouse know you really love him/her?  “Baby, it’s the little things.”

You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
10 How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
11 Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

(Song of Solomon 4:9-11)