Marriage Matters

Many times my wife and I have sat in a restaurant or coffee shop and noticed something that occurs way too often—a husband and wife eating a meal . . . and barely speaking to one another.  Both have their faces drawn like an upside down sock monkey.  A grunt or a head nod is about all that is offered to each other.

Another sight is a couple walking through the mall . . . he’s way ahead of her and totally removed from it all.  She could turn into any store without his notice.

And then, there’s the ride in the car that is “Silenceville.”

Now, much could said in reference to these scenarios, but one that comes to my mind that is sadly missing in way too many married couples lives is . . . they have forgotten how and/or have stopped having fun together!  When God gave Eve to Adam, He said it was not good for man to be alone.  He needed a completer (Genesis 2:18-25).  They had wonderful fellowship in the Garden until sin entered in.  Now, joy can still be a part of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit and with that, the enjoyment of each other’s company.  No matter what your situation is, you can still laugh, chuckle, wink at each other, hold hands, banter back-n-forth in good natured fun, and enjoy life.

Couples, don’t let your job, children, mental attitudes of bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and resentment, physical condition, financial crunch, empty nest, etc., steal your joy, your fun.  Surrender your burdens to the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7), and let the joy of the Lord be your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).  God created us to enjoy Him and one another.

How about going to the local coffee shop and take a game with you?  Make sure it’s one that will create fun and not serious thinking and no laughter such as Settlers of Catton! 🙂 Or, determine the next time you have a meal together at a restaurant, just the two of you, that the husband is turned away from the TVs and the wife has her cell phone put away.  Laugh, talk, be romantic, share, and . . . have fun!!!!

 

Marriage Matters

Communication!  Wow!  Right now that is more of a challenge than it has ever been in our marriage.  Why?  Because of my hearing.  Now, I am guilty at times of the “selective hearing syndrome” that we men seem to contract in older years.  In all seriousness, my hearing is hampered in my left ear especially, and with my wife’s soft voice, . . . oh, brother!

One of most needed areas of constant attention in a marriage is communication.  How interesting that I make a living talking, yet the lack of communication has been such a struggle for me in our marriage.  I can talk the “hind legs off of a mule” but struggle to interact consistently with my precious wife.  So, in a transparent fashion, I hope to help us in a crucial area of marriage.

Why do we as men need to take time, to make the effort to listen, to talk, and to thoroughly communicate with our wife?

 1.  Our wives need the security of our listening ear.

They want to know that what matters to them matters to us.  They want to know that they are more important than Joe at work, Butch in his orange and white, and Gruden and Tirico on Monday night!   For many wives, if they are moms at home with little ones, all they have had all day is communication on a three and/or five year olds level.  They need adult interaction when the hubs gets home without his iPhone, iPad and other distractions.

  • Ephesians 5:23 – God intends for the man to be the head, the leader in the home. Wives find security in our loving, servant leadership.  One of the greatest ways you can serve your wife in a Christlike fashion is to talk and listen to her.  Doesn’t Christ always listen to us?

 2.  Our wives want to know what we are thinking because they love us and intimacy is very dear to them.

  • 1 Peter 3:7 – We will begin to understand our wives when we open up to them because they will feel free to share their heart since you have been open, honest and transparent with them.

 3.  Our wives need to hear communication that glorifies God.

  • 1 Corinthians 10:31 – or whatsoever you do includes our communication with our spouse.
  • Ephesians 4:25 – Our wife is our neighbor and we are members one of another if we are born again believers.
  • Ephesians 4:29 – Good, grace-filled communication that edifies the hearer glorifies God.

Please do me a favor.  Don’t make excuses or think my comments are one-sided.  I realize it takes two to make a marriage, but the point of it all is, God expects us to lead and live with our wives as loving, serving leaders.  Begin by simply taking 10-15 minutes-a-day to look at each other, no distractions, and listen to each other; talk to each other.  By the way, remember when you were dating?  Both of you would hang onto every word . . . even when you didn’t have anything to say on the phone, you just loved to hear each other breathe!!!  🙂

Get honest on your knees before God.  Ask Him to give you strength, ears to hear, words to say, a humble spirit and a passion to glorify God.

I reckon I’d better make that appointment with the ear doctor! 🙂

Men and Women Text Differently – Tim Hawkins brings some humor to it all.  Enjoy this short video. K?