Marriage & Dating

Daily Freshness in Marriage

February 21, 2024February 20, 2024 by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Scenic Route In Marriage, Uncategorized

Has your marriage become stale and/or “in a rut”?

Has the “honeymoon” been long gone?

Are you both just living/existing under the same roof?

Recently I shared with my wife that one of the fascinations of our smartphone is the new information, pictures, reels, videos, livestream, etc. that can capture our attention from one frame to the next in rapid-fire, mesmerizing fashion.

Since marriage is a picture of the gospel (Ephesians 5:22-33), and we walk in newness of life in Christ day-by-day, moment-by-moment (Romans 6:4), our marriage should be one of paralleled day-by-day, moment-by-moment renewal. We should be intrigued with our spouse, the other half of us.

What does that look like?

One of the ways of walking in the newness of life in Christ is through keeping short accounts of sin. We are continual repenters (2 Corinthians 7:8-11), confessing our sins, coming under the blood of Christ and appropriating His forgiveness (1 John 1:7-9). This parallels marriage. Everyday our old sin nature is active and can rear its ugly head and we take the bait by sinning against our spouse. Then and there, we need to confess our sin to God and then to our spouse, turn from it, ask for forgiveness (not an apology), and walk in the newness of relationship.

This keeps a marriage fresh from anger, bitterness, grudges, criticism, jealousy, and other mental attitude sins. In exchange is the newness of freedom and restored fellowship, sin covered and not brought again, words of kindness, and the joy of the Christ-life in marriage!

So, is your marriage “hum-drum”? Be fascinated with your other-half today!! One way to do that would be to take a day trip! Let me suggest one in the area of western North Carolina.

Day Trip Enjoying the Scenic Route of Marriage:

Travel the Blue Ridge Parkway to the quaint town of Black Mountain, NC. Begin your day with a stop at the Blue Ridge Biscuit Company & Bakery, then head on over to the Town Hardware & General Store for a step back in time up to the present.

After strolling through the shops, have lunch at Veranda Cafe & Gifts. From there, walk down the hill to an intimate bookstore and coffee shop (downstairs), Sassafras on Sutton . Enjoy a book, a quiet afternoon and a wonderful cup of coffee! You can spend at least a couple of hours in this cozy, romantic shop. For supper, you may want to try The Pure and Proper.

Enjoy the newness of marriage in Christ!!

The Dating Day – Valentines!!

February 14, 2024February 14, 2024 by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Men

So where are you and your spouse headed for your Valentine’s Day date? Perhaps you have already had your date? Is dating a consistent part of your marriage? One of the most neglected aspects of marriage is continuing to date after marriage.

Remember when you were dating before marriage? Oh, how you planned, maybe even connived to accomplish seeing each other? Nothing would stop you. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! May I ask a question? Why did you stop dating after you were married? Have you stopped? Why?

Here are some ideas to help you put that dating spark back into your marriage:

After you put the kids to bed, play a game of Farkel and eat popcorn. (Hint: One of the best things you can do for your marriage is put your kids to bed at a certain time and don’t let them grow up sleeping with you.)
Talk a walk down the street/road/through the park, hand-in-hand, telling each other why you love them.
Share an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen, Chickfila or Sonic. Take your time and enjoy each other’s company.
Let the kids romp in the playground at Burger King or at the park, and the two of you hold hands, put your arm around each other (you have to sit on the same bench to do so!), talk, and tell your kids, this is your time. They need to learn to respect you and your space. It won’t hurt ‘em! After all, you are teaching them what marriage really looks like so they will be prepared when the times come for them to be married.
Spend some time under the stars and no cell phones!!!!!!!!!!
Cook a meal together.
Watch a bunch of funny, clean videos on Youtube and laugh and laugh and laugh, or stop by a local card store and read all the funny cards to each other.
Men, if you are having trouble coming up with what to talk about to your wife, here’s some help: Date Night Questions

Don’t make excuses for not dating! All of the suggestions above are cheap, but marriage is not cheap. It’s worth the investment!! The key is having a time set aside in your weekly calendar that is reserved for just the two of you.

And . . . husbands, you take the lead in setting up and fulfilling the dates. This will speak volumes to your wife!

So, let this Valentine’s Day date either be the renewal of a great habit or another day of a refreshing deposit in your marriage journey!

Just Being Together

February 16, 2022February 16, 2022 by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Hiking, Love, Marriage, Men, Uncategorized

Valentine’s Day seems to call for “over-the-top” dates, gifts and excitement. And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. To me, Valentine’s Day is exciting and adventuresome in so many ways!!

This year, our Valentine’s Day was not a fancy affair at all. Quite frankly, this year’s “day of love” was simply . . . just being together. It was so special as we literally took the scenic route in marriage !!

For starters, I fixed Denise’s favorite breakfast, French Toast, and served it with ham and assorted fruit. Everything was plated and served on a tray in the family room.

We shared cards, and my Sweetheart gave me a gift. She received a dozen roses on Friday!

Mid-morning, I gave Denise an optional plan for the day which included some of our favorite destinations. She surprised me with an option not mentioned—-Let’s go hiking!” Well, that was music to my ears!!

We headed out with our trail lunch and hiking gear for Rocky Fork State Park and Whitehouse Cliffs. This is a two-mile round-trip hike that is a somewhat strenuous, consistent climb. We took our time, stopping for a hug here-and-there and genuinely enjoying the quiet solitude.

From there, we headed south to Weaverville to Well-bred Bakery for a slice of delicious raspberry chiffon cake!! Oh my!! Light and tasty!! Definitely pairs well with “Jamaican me crazy” coffee. We were hoping to eat at Stoney Knob Restaurant, but they are closed on Mondays. So we decided to eat our supper backwards beginning with dessert.

Denise had declared earlier in the day that it sure would be cool to be up on Wolf Laurel at sunset! Well, well, well, your wish is my desire! Supper options are very slim between Weaverville and Wolf Laurel Mountain, but I remembered a pizza shop just off the exit. Been living on a whim all day anyway, why not try it! Delish! Chicken ranch pizza in a styrofoam box at the top of mountain with a stellar sunset and your gal—romantic and delightful!!!

What was the best part of a somewhat unplanned, spur-of-the-moment Valentine’s Day? Just being together!

Guys, ask your girlfriend or your wife what they like most, and I would venture to say that the majority would answer, “Time with you.”

Just being together on the scenic route in marriage is always a win!!

Taking the Scenic Route in Marriage #9

March 20, 2018March 20, 2018 by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Joy, Love, Marriage, Men, Prayer, Uncategorized

The view from the Old Pilot Hill General Store; our stop on the way home last Saturday.

“Enjoying the Pleasures; Avoiding the Potholes”

Saturday afternoon, my wife and I attended a funeral calling several miles from our home. We try to make ministry opportunities not only about whom we are serving but about serving each other and working at our marriage. Continue reading “Taking the Scenic Route in Marriage #9” →

Family Friday – Invest in Time Away

February 16, 2018February 16, 2018 by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Family, Love, Marriage, Men, Ministry, Parenting, Renewal, Uncategorized

Today, I’m sharing my wife’s post from her blog, refreshher.com. Marriage is a blessed grace gift from God that He created and directs. By grace, you invest in your marriage every day. My life is rich because of God’s grace and my gal!!!!

This week during our Valentine’s dinner, I pulled out a dating journal that my husband and I kept for quite a few years. We recorded lunch dates, overnighter’s, and weeks away that we were blessed to share during the years our girls were home. Wow! It was filled with special memories we had forgotten. But one thing rang true – we missed our girls while we were away, but those times alone helped shape our relationship. It made us better parents, and it made our marriage stronger.

We literally had to scrape together every dime to go on these outings, but it was so well worth it! I’m thankful we have that journal to remind us of the joy those times away were for us. Some dates were simply a shared ice cream cone, or a picnic lunch at a nearby park. As a matter of fact, most outings were minimized in extravagance, but maximized in enjoyment AND effectiveness! It was always profitable for our relaitonshhip.

For any married couple to spend time away together so they might invest in their relationship, will require an investment. That simply means it is costly.

It could require a financial investment. There are lots of things to do that don’t cost, but most overnighters aren’t free.
It will require time – time away from family, away from work and away from all other distrations.
It will require a willingness to get honest with one another so you both can make changes that are necessary.
The sacrifice of your pride is crucial so you can listen to your spouse without thinking about what you want to say.

After 36+ years of marriage, I would have to say that time away from pressures and demands – even for an hour – is time that helped build our marriage. It’s so easy to get on two separate tracks when things are so busy.

May I ask you – are you making a true effort to spend time with your spouse – just the two of you so you might talk in depth, pray together, have times of rest, laugh, strengthen one another in the daily grind, and pour into your marriage so you can both be ready to move forward?

Let me encourage you, if you’re wanting to share these times but your husband is reluctant, plan a short outing. Do something you know HE would love. Keep it lighthearted and encouraging. Pour into him. Bless him with what he needs. Pray about it, asking the Lord to make your time special. Keep doing these ittle outings and work your way into a weekend away. Allow the Lord to move in his heart.

God has a plan for your marriage and you can trust Him to make it what it needs to be. But again, time with just the two of your is one important ingredient. Even though there are no longer children in our home, my husband and I have to get away to really have time to talk and share uninterrupted. We still need it. We still love it!

Let me end by sharing some photos of the weekend Sweetheart Retreat my husband spoke at last weekend at The Wilds. It was a wonderful blessing to our hearts to gather with 80 couples and pour into their lives for two days! If you’ve never experienced a couples’ retreat at The Wilds, you don’t know what you’re missing! These pictures will give you an idea of the fun we shared!

Fun Time is always full of the good medicine of laughter!!

More old friends that blessed our time there!

Valentine’s day is behind us, but you live in your marriage every single day. Make the most of it by making investments that will benefit your relationship for years to come!

Refresh your marriage – Why not start planning now for an outing?

Who attends couples’ retreats? Where do you go?

Denise Signature 150 px