Valentine’s Day Everyday!

Roses

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you don’t spend big on Valentine’s Day, your partner might end things with you.

It’s expected that more than half (53%) of all Americans will pull out all the stops this February 14th, spending a collective $30 billion on all manner of heart-shaped treats and experiences.

However, signs point to Lotharios tightening the old purse strings in 2019, with spending on Valentine’s Day down 10%, falling from $30.3 billion in 2018 to $30 billion in 2019.

If you’re one of the 53% of Americans planning to spend on someone for Valentine’s Day, I hope you’ve got deep pockets: The average person is expected to spend $221.34.

These Valentine’s facts were posted January 16, 2019 on finder.com.  Wow!

Valentine’s Day is a very special day, and it’s fun to try to express our love in big ways!

This week, I cooked supper for my Sweetheart of 37+ years.  I found an easy recipe from Ree Drummond on the Food Network website and went to work.  Within an hour, we had lemon-pepper steak grilled in butter, seasoned steak fries with hollandaise sauce, blue cheese wedge salad with bacon and blue cheese crumbles, and parmesan toast.  (Now, a side note.  I’m not running to take my wife’s place in the kitchen!!)  We ate by the fireplace, Denise gave me a gift, and afterwards, we watched two episodes of the Andy Griffith Show and played two rounds of Take Two.  Total cost for the meal:  Maybe $10.

I have good news for you.  You can have Valentine’s Day everyday, and it won’t cost you $221.34 each day!

How?  Just work at your marriage by the grace of God each day.

  1. Tell your spouse each day, “I love you.”
  2. Kiss your spouse each day–not a peck on the cheek or lips, either!
  3. Hold hands.
  4. Take 10-30 minutes each day to pay attention and communicate with each other.  No distractions (kids, phones, TV, etc).  You can do it!
  5. Leave love notes around the house, in the car, in his shirt pocket, in her purse, etc.
  6. Text each other throughout the day expressing your love for one another and what you are up to at the moment.
  7. Be demonstrative in your love toward your spouse in front of the children.  They need to see what marriage really is like.
  8. Plan an inexpensive date (A ride in the car after supper, a walk through the park, sometime spent on the back porch, a personal pan pizza served on china plates after the kids are in bed, read old love letters and cards, just talk as you look into each other’s eyes, shut the door to your bedroom making it off limits to the kids, listen to some old love songs, recreated a date from before you were married, watch your wedding video, etc.)
  9. Open the car door and store door for your wife.  Seat her at the table, too.
  10. Look for opportunities each day to say, “I love you. I am thinking of you.”  If you don’t know what to do, pray about it . . . seriously.

Big event days are indeed fun.  But, it’s all the little things you do that make those big event days special and not “make-up-for-it” days!  And, . . . the first sentence of the finder.com report will have no bearing on you!

The Heart of Valentine’s Day

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This is a special day for those “in love.”  For married couples, it is just another day of intentionally working at their marriage with a little bit of flare added to it or sadly for some, it is a “catch up” day or a day just passed by.

Nevertheless, the very symbol of Valentine’s Day really sums up the whole of married life….as well as everyone’s life.  It is a heart issue.  In other words, the heart of every issue is an issue of the heart.  This speaks even to those of a broken heart today.

Jesus said, in answer to the lawyer’s testing question of what is the greatest commandment, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself (Matthew 22:37-39).

Before an unsaved, lost man can be born again (John 3:1-16) and then love God with all his heart, he must turn to Christ and receive Him as the Word of God clearly states.  Until a man receives Christ as the only way to God the Father (John 14:1-6), he has no desire to love God (Romans 3:9-17).  But when a sinner is born again, the perfect love of God is poured out upon him/her (Romans 5:5), and they understand the greatest love of all from the Creator and Sustainer of true love (1 John 4:7-19).  No man understands or lives out genuine love until he comes to know God through Jesus Christ alone.

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:9-13).

For a married couple that knows and understands the love of God, the heart is still the issue of every facet of marriage.  No matter what route or adventure marriage takes, loving God with all your heart is the answer.

Many years ago in Bible college, I was introduced to the simple marriage triangle.

marriage triangle

This triangle simply teaches, the closer each spouse moves to God, the closer they move toward each other. The further each moves from God, the further they move from each other. Broken marriages always involve at least one partner moving away from God.  Blessed marriages involve both partners loving God with all their heart, moving closer and closer to God.  When you really love someone, you want to be with them.  You want to move closer to them.  You want to know them.

God created marriage, not man (Genesis 2:18-25).  Therefore, if you desire to have a marriage that fulfills all that God intended and makes for a heart-filled Valentine’s Day every day, move closer to God through His Word, prayer, and worship; love Him with all your heart, and your neighbor (your spouse) in the same manner.

The heart of every issue is an issue of the heart.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

The Day After Valentine’s

 

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Valentine’s Day is always a very special day for married lovebirds!!  Red roses, boxes of chocolates, dinner dates, romantic venues, recalling of Valentine’s Days of the past, perfume, cards, terms of endearment left on sticky notes all over the house, pictures posted on Facebook and Instagram, communications of the degree of love for each other, and on and on it goes for this special day!!

But . . . what about today, the day after Valentine’s Day?  You put much thought into how you would express your love to your Sweetheart.  You went out of your way to purchase that perfect gift.  You fantasized in your mind the most romantic setting and fulfillment for this special day.  You wrote down your thoughts of love and appreciation in a card.  You made sure the whole world knew about it on Facebook.

All of this took intentional thought and effort.

This leads to me say one crucial thing about how to keep your marriage moving forward, to keep it hummin’!

You have to work at it every day! 

No, you don’t have to buy a $75 bouquet of flowers or have a candlelight dinner at Ruth’s Chris every day. You intentionally . . .

  • Verbalize your love to each another
  • Kiss (Eliminate the peck!)
  • Pray together
  • Hold hands
  • Look at each other
  • Seat your wife at the table
  • Pray together
  • Hug each other
  • Serve each other
  • Enjoy a 5-minute date in the pantry with the door closed
  • Leave love notes
  • Pray together
  • Share what God has taught you from His Word
  • Laugh together
  • Hold each other
  • Speak words of encouragement
  • Enjoy being with each other
  • Listen to each other
  • Pray together
  • Forgive each other
  • Make sure your spouse comes before your children
  • Make sure your spouse knows you love him/her more than the children
  • Pray together
  • Be gracious to each other
  • Touch each other
  • Pay attention to each other like your mate was Facebook
  • Wash her car
  • Pray together
  • Bake him his favorite cookies
  • Do the things you did when you were dating . . . even many years later
  • Keep having fun (Don’t grow old grumpy!)
  • Pray together

So, what are your intentional plans for your lovebird today, the day after Valentine’s Day?

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On the Same Page Together

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Yesterday I received my daily email from All-Pro Dad, and the post for Wednesday was entitled, 4 Areas You and Your Wife Need to Be on the Same Page

The four areas are:

  1. Touching throughout the day.
  2. Spending money wisely.
  3. Making big decisions together.
  4. Having an Open-Heart policy.

BONUS: Closing the day in prayer

These four things are spot-on, but what caught my attention was the title of the article and the bonus.  They describe the real need of every marriage.

The page that every marriage should work from each day is a page from God’s Word.

The bonus in every marriage, every day is prayer!

You see, God, the Creator of marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:18-25), is also the Author of God’s Word.  Therefore, for a husband and wife to be blessed and have an honorable marriage, they will work off the same page . . . the page(s) of God’s Word.

Since God is righteous (Psalm 145:17), then all His ways, counsel, direction, and wisdom is right.  You want to know what’s right for your marriage, then both of you work off the same page, God’s Word!

Husband and wives should read the Word together, share with each other what God teaches you each day-by-day from the Word, faithfully attend a Bible teaching and preaching church, be exposed to biblical preaching via podcasts or radio, attend camps and conferences where you can learn the Word together, and live your lives in accordance to God’s right path (Joshua 1:8-9; Psalm 1:1-6; 19:7-14).

Proverbs 14:11 reminds us, There is a way which seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.  Since marriage is the union of two selfish individuals whose way seems always best to themselves, it is most wise to walk in the counsel of God’s righteous Word.

The power and place of God’s Word is on display in Psalm 119.  Here’s an action plan. How about each day, you and your spouse read one eight-verse section from Psalm 119.  Take turns reading each verse out loud and stopping after each verse to listen to God and share with each other how that verse applies to your life and marriage.  Then jot down in a journal your thoughts, biblical plans, and the righteous path God has revealed to you as you read, discuss and meditate on the Word.

Finally, enjoy the BONUS—pray together.  Don’t just wait until the end of the day.  Find yourselves praying for and with each other throughout the day and night.  The absolute best place to go with your spouse is to the Throne of Grace (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Now, that’s really working off the same page!!

Get to Work!!

underconstruction
That’s a sign that should be posted on the front door of every married couple’s home . . . and never removed. Every marriage is a work in progress and must be worked on every day. Sadly, many marriages look like a run down, unkempt house. How did that house that once was fresh and new become one with windows broken, shingles missing, shutters banging against the wall, and many other signs of neglect and disrepair? It all started with a little neglect here and a little carelessness there. And so it is with marriage. How does that marriage which began with much fanfare and perhaps extravagance become like a broken down house?
  • You take each other for granted.
  • You stop talking to each other, face-to-face, like you did when you were dating; the terms of endearment are few.
  • You let the children take priority over your marriage relationship.
  • You permit the deception of busyness to create unhealthy separation between you.
  • You do not go to bed at the same time. (Understanding that work schedules can be a deterrent)
  • You spend more time with social media than socializing with your spouse.
  • You stop taking care of yourself. Remember how you tried to look good for a date? Why not now? You let yourself go physically, spiritually and mentally.
  • You expect to be served rather than serving each other.
  • You have not used the phrases “I’m sorry” and/or “Please forgive me” in a long, long time.
  • You haven’t held hands in a long time.
  • You live like a victim instead of a victor in Christ.
  • Your kisses are more pecks than “dating specials”!

So, how do you fix a run-down house? One room or area at a time. If you are hearing the shutter knocking against the walls of your marriage, humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and your spouse and start in one area at a time. You don’t repair a house overnight. Be proactive instead of inactive. Put the “Work in Progress” sign back up and by God’s grace, rebuild your marriage. (A good place to start is reading Ephesians 4:18-6:18 to each other.)

Friday’s Findings

Here we are at end of the week, and I’m sharing some blog posts that lead into Valentine’s Day.  Hope these are helpful.  I trust that your weekend is filled with many answers to prayer, opportunities to serve, and full of God-glorifying, Christ-exalting, Spirit-filled worship!

23 Things Love Is  – Here’s a good post written by Paul Tripp for you and your spouse to read through to see if you are really loving each other as God would have you to.  Be honest with each other.  It will do you and your relationship much good!

Love Is Not For Sissies: How Trials Make Love Stronger – Enough said; great post.

Improve Your Marriage Today – Here are three simple steps to help your marriage move on and grow!

Everyday Romance – How Sweet  It Is – This is one of the best blog’s out there about love and marriage.  Looking for some practical tips, advice, and ideas, this is it!  This post is a simple one that will keep romance in your relationship. Check it out and get out of your rut (if you’re in one)!!  Thanks, Debi, for all you work.

Marriage Matters

Valentines Date 2015

V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  That holds special significance to my wife and me.  Monday, we went on our special Valentine’s date to celebrate 36 Valentine’s Days together!  Because marriage matters, each day is an opportunity to grow your relationship.  As I’ve said so many times in the past, it’s the little things that add up to a big marriage!  Valentine’s Day is not a make-up day for a sad, little marriage.  It’s just one more day to make special and enjoy the gift of marriage!

So, while seated in the corner of the restaurant, by the window, all alone, Denise started V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  She took each letter and used it as an acrostic for why she loves me, using one word for each letter of the word valentine.  Wow!  Then I did the same with her.  Wow, again!  As we looked into each other’s eyes, at times it was a smile and then tears.  We reminisced, became nostalgic, and were removed from all other distractions.  Oh, the meal was delicious, but my memory from our dinner will be this special moment together.

Sometime this week, on your Valentine date or after the kids have gone to bed or whenever you are able to do so, look each other in the eye, hold hands, and share V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  Why? Because marriage matters to God (Ephesians 5:18-33).

For some additional thoughts, check out my wife’s blog post:  Improve Your Marriage Today