Happy Valentine’s Day!!
Here we are in the middle of February, and we continue the V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E acrostic on ways to make this a blessed month of growth and change in biblical marriage.
With “N” being the middle letter as it comes between V-A-L-E and T-I-N-E, let us be reminded to let NOTHING come between you and your spouse in this blessed grace gift!
Continue reading “The Month of Love (N)”
Using the acrostic V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E, here’s some ideas to help make this a blessed month of growth and change in biblical love. (Click here for V-A)
L – Love your spouse unconditionally.
Love is an action verb, yet it is not dependent upon you to love unconditionally.
As a born again believer living the Christ-life, we surrender to the Trinity to love unconditionally as we ought.
Continue reading “The Month of Love (L)”
Hey! If you haven’t already noticed, Valentine’s Day is approaching! Are you ready?
Sadly, for many married couples, Valentine’s Day is . . .
Using the acrostic V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E, here’s some ideas to help make this a blessed month of growth and change in biblical love.
Continue reading “The Month of Love (V-A)”
Valentine’s Day seems to call for “over-the-top” dates, gifts and excitement. And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. To me, Valentine’s Day is exciting and adventuresome in so many ways!!
This year, our Valentine’s Day was not a fancy affair at all. Quite frankly, this year’s “day of love” was simply . . . just being together. It was so special as we literally took the scenic route in marriage !!
For starters, I fixed Denise’s favorite breakfast, French Toast, and served it with ham and assorted fruit. Everything was plated and served on a tray in the family room.
We shared cards, and my Sweetheart gave me a gift. She received a dozen roses on Friday!
Mid-morning, I gave Denise an optional plan for the day which included some of our favorite destinations. She surprised me with an option not mentioned—-Let’s go hiking!” Well, that was music to my ears!!
We headed out with our trail lunch and hiking gear for Rocky Fork State Park and Whitehouse Cliffs. This is a two-mile round-trip hike that is a somewhat strenuous, consistent climb. We took our time, stopping for a hug here-and-there and genuinely enjoying the quiet solitude.
From there, we headed south to Weaverville to Well-bred Bakery for a slice of delicious raspberry chiffon cake!! Oh my!! Light and tasty!! Definitely pairs well with “Jamaican me crazy” coffee. We were hoping to eat at Stoney Knob Restaurant, but they are closed on Mondays. So we decided to eat our supper backwards beginning with dessert.
Denise had declared earlier in the day that it sure would be cool to be up on Wolf Laurel at sunset! Well, well, well, your wish is my desire! Supper options are very slim between Weaverville and Wolf Laurel Mountain, but I remembered a pizza shop just off the exit. Been living on a whim all day anyway, why not try it! Delish! Chicken ranch pizza in a styrofoam box at the top of mountain with a stellar sunset and your gal—romantic and delightful!!!
What was the best part of a somewhat unplanned, spur-of-the-moment Valentine’s Day? Just being together!
Guys, ask your girlfriend or your wife what they like most, and I would venture to say that the majority would answer, “Time with you.”
Just being together on the scenic route in marriage is always a win!!
Ready for Monday?
Here’s a few ideas for a fun, romantic date.
Game Night Date: Choose three eating establishments (coffee shop, restaurant, bakery). Take three games (Shut the Box, Take Two, Quixx) and play a game at each location. Start off with a game at Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. Make reservations for dinner at Chop House. Drive to Bristol and enjoy Blackbird Bakery. Game on!
Bookstore Date: After a meal out, head on over to a local bookstore and locate a cozy corner. Find a book for each of the following categories, five books in all. 1) A travel book that describes your dream vacation spot. After locating the book, bring it back to your table and read about it to your spouse. Put the books away and search for . . . 2) A children’s book that you enjoyed in your childhood. Return to your table and read it to each other. Put the books away and search for . . . 3) A book of love poems. Same as #2, but be sure to hold hands and look into each other’s eyes. 4) A hobby book. Same as #2. 5) A cookbook with a recipe that you would surely enjoy! Do the same as #2. Book it!
Put the Kids to Bed Date: After the kids are tucked into bed with instructions to stay in bed, order up a pizza. Pull out the china or good dinnerware and have a candle-light pizza party in your bedroom. Play some romantic music. Verbally share 14 reasons why you love each other. Talk about ways to grow your marriage and mature your love for each other. Take it from there!
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
Who’s getting married this Valentine’s Day weekend?
According to the LA Times, “Valentine’s Day is L.A.’s hottest wedding day” of the year. “In the last decade, Los Angeles County couples have chosen Valentine’s Day for their weddings more often than any other day — by far.” (LA Times, February 14, 2019)
The subject of Valentine’s Day and marriage is way cool to me! Having been married 40 1/2 years (June 20), I can tell you that romance, love, dating and all that comes with being married is a rich blessing! It’s fun, adventurous, takes daily maintenance and is way cool! Now, hang on a minute. Don’t get the idea that our marriage has been “and they lived happily ever after!” because that has never happened in any marriage!!
Although God created marriage (Genesis 2:18-25) in a perfect state and environment, sin crept in and marred the blessed arrangement. The issue today is not marriage but two sinners coming together in marriage.
Speaking of sin, there is a one that has been swiftly gaining ground in America and around the world for the past few decades, especially in the 2000’s—-couples living together before marriage or living together and never being united in marriage. Folks, I say this from a heart that cares for you and is at the same time grieved by how sin continues to mar the sacred gift of holy matrimony.
First of all, no matter how hard you try to make life work your way, God’s way is always the best because His way is perfect (Psalm 18:30), righteous and holy (Psalm 145:17), one of steadfast love and faithfulness (Psalm 25:10), and higher than your ways (Isaiah 55:9). We are exhorted in Galatians 6:7-8 that you cannot “out-box” God nor can you get away with your sin. Therefore, living together outside of the bonds of marriage is an affront to God. It is living in rebellion, sin, and pride.
Second, God says marriage is to be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous (Hebrews 13:4). Please let this passage sink into your heart! Because marriage was created by God, it is to be held in honor.
Grant Richison in his commentary on this passage says correctly, Marriage is “honorable” because it is a divine institution. It is the basic building block for society. The word “honorable” means to hold with great esteem. Physical love among married people is “honorable.” It is something that must be held in great respect. It is intimate companionship (Gen. 2:18). Any form of sex outside of husband and wife is dishonorable in God’s eyes.
The undefiled marriage bed belongs only to a husband and wife who have been united in marriage. Sex between a man and his wife is holy, pure, and beautiful, but is defiled and perilous to the couple who choses to live together and have sex outside the bounds of marriage.
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality . . . . Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:9, 18).
He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Proverbs 6:32-33).
Sex is for marriage, and marriage is for sex. God wants us to save sex for marriage not because it’s “bad” or “dirty”— but because it’s unique, exclusive, and wonderful. Sex isn’t just casual fun. And it’s not just a feel-good way of expressing mutual love. It’s about two people becoming one flesh. Jesus says, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5, ESV; quoting from Genesis 1:27 and Genesis 2:24). [Focus on the Family]
As noted earlier, God’s ways are always best. God created marriage and has laid down His instructions for marriage. Life does not work in rebellion against its Creator. Furthermore, you don’t own marriage, God does. Therefore, you do not have the right to “call the shots” as to how you will handle marriage and all that God has intended for it. A man who surrenders to the will of God will never live with regret and shame (Psalm 32).
If you are living with someone outside the bonds of marriage, repent and run to the cross of Christ and accept God’s forgiveness. Also, please read the following: Three Lies About Premarital Sex
Valentine’s Day can be a guilt-free holiday of romance and joy if you follow God’s way!
Top 6 Valentine’s Day Facts for 2022 by Wallethub.com
$23.9 Billion: Total Valentine’s Day spending projected for 2022 ($175.41 per person celebrating).
$235 vs. $119: Men will spend almost twice as much as women, on average, for Valentine’s Day 2022.
$10.7 Billion: Amount Americans will spend on jewelry ($6.2B), flowers ($2.3B) and candy ($2.2B).
26%: Share of marriages that begin online.
33%: Overall online dating activity increase across the US between February 1 and February 14.
58%: Share of Americans who say that romantic gestures are more important to them now than they were pre-pandemic.
Valentine’s Day is a very special day, and it’s fun to try to express our love in big ways and in small ways, too!
Did you know that you can have Valentine’s Day everyday?
How? Just work at your marriage by the grace of God each day. Make more investments in your relationship than you do withdrawals. Here’s a few suggestions:
Big event days and big gifts are indeed fun. But, it’s the things you do the other 364 days that make Valentine’s Day so special!
Communication! Wow! For 5 1/2 years this has been more of a challenge than it has ever been in our marriage. Why? Because of my hearing. Now, I am guilty at times of the “selective hearing syndrome” that we men seem to contract in older years. In all seriousness, my hearing is declining hampered in my left ear especially, and with my wife’s soft voice, . . . oh, brother!
One of most needed areas of constant attention in a marriage is communication. How interesting that I make a living talking, yet the lack of communication has been such a struggle for me in our marriage. I can talk the “hind legs off of a mule” but struggle to interact consistently with my precious wife. So, in a transparent fashion, I hope to help us in a crucial area of marriage.
Why do we as men need to take time, to make the effort to listen, to talk, and to thoroughly communicate with our wife?
1. Our wives need the security of our listening ear.
They want to know that what matters to them matters to us. They want to know that they are more important than Joe at work, Josh Heupel in his orange and white, and Michaels and Collingsworth on Sunday night! For many wives, if they are moms at home with little ones, all they have had all day is communication on a three and/or five year olds level. They need adult interaction when the hubs gets home without his iPhone, iPad and other distractions.
2. Our wives want to know what we are thinking because they love us and intimacy is very dear to them.
3. Our wives need to hear communication that glorifies God.
Please do me a favor. Don’t make excuses or think my comments are one-sided. I realize it takes two to make a marriage, but the point of it all is, God expects us to lead and live with our wives as loving, serving leaders. Begin by simply taking 10-15 minutes-a-day to look at each other, no distractions, and listen to each other; talk to each other. By the way, remember when you were dating? Both of you would hang onto every word . . . even when you didn’t have anything to say on the phone, you just loved to hear each other breathe!!! 🙂
Get honest on your knees before God. Ask Him to give you strength, ears to hear, words to say, a humble spirit and a passion to glorify God.
I reckon I’d better turn up my hearing aids!! 🙂
Men and Women Text Differently – Tim Hawkins brings some humor to it all. Enjoy this short video. K?
When’s the last time you and your spouse just had a good ol’ belly laugh? Perhaps you even cried you laughed so hard!
With all the stuff that we have come through in 2020 and continue to do so, laughter is hard to find.
I remember as a boy sitting around the supper table after church on Sunday night hearing preachers, missionaries, church members, etc., telling jokes and stories which were accompanied with many moments of boisterous laughter! Nowadays you tell a joke and somebody’s gonna get offended.
I’m not discounting the seriousness of COVID, but with the masks and the accompanying fear, few people are having a good time, laughing, smiling, and enjoying life.
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)
A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. (Proverbs 15:13)
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:4)
So, with that said, have you and your spouse been laughing lately? You know, it might be that your marriage is drying up (Prov. 17:22) because you have forgotten how to have fun; you’ve been too serious; you’ve just let 2020 get you in the heart!
Well, let’s fix that!
One of the reasons I have loved the preaching of Chuck Swindoll over the years is his infectious laughter. In his book, Laugh Again, Hope Again, he says, Isn’t God the one who urges us to “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord”? Why do we always think that means singing? Seems to me the most obvious joyful sound on earth is laughter… I’ve seen folks quote verses like “Rejoice in the Lord always” while their faces look like they just buried a rich uncle who willed everything to his pregnant guinea pig. Something is missing. Can’t you just hear him laughing?!?!
So, this week as we head into Valentine’s Day, how about taking a cue from Ken Davis’ radio program and “Lighten’ Up!” Have at it! It’s time! I’m sure your marriage could use a good dose of laughter meds!
Simply from a pastor’s heart!
My wife and I love to take scenic drives through the country. While often pointing to beautiful farms, well-kept houses and lawns, and the continual mountainous scenes around us, we are also greeted with run down houses covered over with vines and bushes as well as dilapidated stores that once held a consistent, thriving business. How does a house that was once new become an unpainted relic of the past? One of the reasons is simple neglect. Take several days of neglect, add them together, and the house is in disrepair. In some cases, it is no longer inhabited.
This reminds me of marriage. Marriage cannot run on auto-pilot. Every day, you must work at keeping your marriage fresh and up-to-date. Neglect is like a vine that grows up around a house that eventually takes over. Here are some simple daily maintenance tips to help your marriage stay fresh:
Don’t let your marriage look like a run down, uninhabited house! Remember, that house did not get that way overnight! Do your maintenance work today! Celebrating Valentine’s Day will be much sweeter, too! Enjoy!!
From A Pastor's Heart 