Your marriage can be greatly refreshed and strengthened when you begin this daily practice. It will help you personally and as a couple. It will give you direction for the day to day choices and guide you in the big picture decisions.
What is it?
Continue reading “The Daily Practice That Will Refresh and Strengthen Your Marriage”
This statement or a form of it has been declared one too many times by none other than . . . pastors.
Recently, while eating supper with a group of ministry leaders, I made the comment that I love officiating weddings AND funerals. The retired pastor across from me responded with a look of disgust and disdain while shaking his head.
Now, you might understand why I love to lead weddings yet wonder about funerals. Let me share some of my reasons with the hopes of encouraging you, pastor, to see these as a positive opportunity rather than a drudgery. If they have become mechanical to you, then hopefully this will encourage you to serve in the newness of Christ.
Continue reading ““I Hate Weddings & Funerals!””
Has your marriage become stale and/or “in a rut”?
Has the “honeymoon” been long gone?
Are you both just living/existing under the same roof?
Recently I shared with my wife that one of the fascinations of our smartphone is the new information, pictures, reels, videos, livestream, etc. that can capture our attention from one frame to the next in rapid-fire, mesmerizing fashion.
Since marriage is a picture of the gospel (Ephesians 5:22-33), and we walk in newness of life in Christ day-by-day, moment-by-moment (Romans 6:4), our marriage should be one of paralleled day-by-day, moment-by-moment renewal. We should be intrigued with our spouse, the other half of us.
What does that look like?
One of the ways of walking in the newness of life in Christ is through keeping short accounts of sin. We are continual repenters (2 Corinthians 7:8-11), confessing our sins, coming under the blood of Christ and appropriating His forgiveness (1 John 1:7-9). This parallels marriage. Everyday our old sin nature is active and can rear its ugly head and we take the bait by sinning against our spouse. Then and there, we need to confess our sin to God and then to our spouse, turn from it, ask for forgiveness (not an apology), and walk in the newness of relationship.
This keeps a marriage fresh from anger, bitterness, grudges, criticism, jealousy, and other mental attitude sins. In exchange is the newness of freedom and restored fellowship, sin covered and not brought again, words of kindness, and the joy of the Christ-life in marriage!
So, is your marriage “hum-drum”? Be fascinated with your other-half today!! One way to do that would be to take a day trip! Let me suggest one in the area of western North Carolina.
Day Trip Enjoying the Scenic Route of Marriage:
Travel the Blue Ridge Parkway to the quaint town of Black Mountain, NC. Begin your day with a stop at the Blue Ridge Biscuit Company & Bakery, then head on over to the Town Hardware & General Store for a step back in time up to the present.
After strolling through the shops, have lunch at Veranda Cafe & Gifts. From there, walk down the hill to an intimate bookstore and coffee shop (downstairs), Sassafras on Sutton . Enjoy a book, a quiet afternoon and a wonderful cup of coffee! You can spend at least a couple of hours in this cozy, romantic shop. For supper, you may want to try The Pure and Proper.
Enjoy the newness of marriage in Christ!!
“There is no area that is more important than this. It doesn’t take long to realize that you have married a sinner, and what you do when you make this discovery will determine the character and quality of your union. You will only respond in a way that is right, good, and helpful to your spouse’s sin, weakness, and struggle when you are celebrating the transforming grace of an ever-present, always-faithful Redeemer” (Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, Paul David Tripp, p. 42).
This past weekend, Denise and I had the privilege of leading the Barnhardt Baptist Church, Goodview, VA, Couples’ Retreat. For the past three years they have used the facilities at the Hilton Garden Inn as well as various attractions in Bristol, VA.
As we navigated through the theme of “Marriage on the Gospel Highway,” we watched the Word convict, encourage, strengthen, and change marriages for the glory of God!
We played some crazy games and laughed as couples worked together to win various prizes (restaurant gift cards, candy, Escape Room admission).
Friday night after the first session, a trip to Blackbird Bakery topped off the evening!! There we had the blessed privilege of counseling with a precious young couple who had some well thought out questions about marriage!
Saturday morning, breakfast afforded another opportunity to converse with a couple about marriage and life on the Gospel Highway. After breakfast, Denise and I led split sessions. This room created a warm, intimate setting to gather around the Word. This is one of the many joys the Lord gives us through D & D Ministries!
After a break and checking out of our rooms, we closed out the morning with a final session. How blessed to have a part in seeing couples desire to intentionally grow their marriages in and through Christ on the Gospel Highway!
“So, in your marriage, God will find ways to drive you to the end of yourself so that you will put your hope and strength in him. Your moments of weakness are not the bad moments of accident or bad luck. No, moments of weakness are there because of divine intention. They are the delivery system of glorious forgiving, empowering, and motivating grace. God is using them to rescue you from you and to make you a person who, in marriage, really is committed to love you as you have been loved” (Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, Paul David Tripp,p. 319).
So where are you and your spouse headed for your Valentine’s Day date? Perhaps you have already had your date? Is dating a consistent part of your marriage? One of the most neglected aspects of marriage is continuing to date after marriage.
Remember when you were dating before marriage? Oh, how you planned, maybe even connived to accomplish seeing each other? Nothing would stop you. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! May I ask a question? Why did you stop dating after you were married? Have you stopped? Why?
Here are some ideas to help you put that dating spark back into your marriage:
Don’t make excuses for not dating! All of the suggestions above are cheap, but marriage is not cheap. It’s worth the investment!! The key is having a time set aside in your weekly calendar that is reserved for just the two of you.
And . . . husbands, you take the lead in setting up and fulfilling the dates. This will speak volumes to your wife!
So, let this Valentine’s Day date either be the renewal of a great habit or another day of a refreshing deposit in your marriage journey!
Today marks a milestone in my life…..my 65th birthday!!
And we all say, “Where did the time go?” I mean, wasn’t it just yesterday I walked to kindergarten, graduated from high school, got married, had children, preached my first sermon, got my driver’s license, etc.?
Looking back over these years, the following and much more comes to mind.
Continue reading “65 at 65!”
Proverbs 18:22 (NLT) says, The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.
Husbands, If you have a new Ford F-150 (or insert your favorite) sitting in your driveway, how do you protect it?
What if it’s a new Fierce Rogue hunting rifle? Or a St. Croix Triumph Travel fishing rod?
How will you protect that new house of your dreams?
Husbands, the real question is, do you protect your wife? If so, how do you protect her?
Proverbs 18:22 says she is a treasure. Ephesians 5:28 reminds us, Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.
As I mentioned in the previous posts, The Treasure of Man and Husbands, Love Your Treasure, marriage is a grace-gift from God, and we have sufficient grace to grow in Christ through the gift of marriage and the privilege of responding to our treasure in many ways that honor God and live out the gospel.
So, how can you protect your treasure?
Continue reading “Husbands, Protect Your Treasure!”
Proverbs 18:22 says, The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.
Yes, husbands, your wife is your treasure. As I mentioned in a previous post, The Treasure of Man, marriage is not the issue. We have sufficient grace to grow in Christ through the gift of marriage, and we as men have the privilege of responding to our treasure in many ways that honor God.
First of all, we are to love our treasure, our wife. Ephesians 5:25 reminds us, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. As Warren Wiersbe said, “Paul was lifting married love to the highest level possible, for he saw in the Christian home an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church.”
What does this look like?
In one way, just as Christ set aside His prerogatives to be our substitutionary atonement and meet the greatest need in our life, the need of redemption and reconciliation (Phil. 2:5-8), we as men set aside our desires and agendas to meet the greatest needs of our wives in love.
One of the greatest needs of a wife is security. She needs you to think about her, consider her, confide in her, share life with her, talk to her, listen to her, be friends with her, hold her, include her, forgive her, accept her, be with her, do life with her, have eyes only for her, have fun with her, laugh with her, weep with her, pray and read the Word with her, date her, worship with her, be faithful to her, encourage her, walk with her, open the car door for her, check on her, text her, etc.
How marvelous to know of the absolute security we have in Christ in salvation that is the foundation for all of life and eternity (1 Peter 1:3-5; 1 John 5:9-13). As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love (John 15:9). We are His treasure, His inheritance.
Husbands, love your treasure! May she have the joy of abiding in your love!
When a man takes a wife, he has stepped into one of the most blessed positions of life!
Proverbs 18:22 says, The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.
What an honor it is by the grace of God (2 Corinthians 9:8) and submission to God Ephesians 5:20) to . . .
Even as age, sin, disagreements, sorrows, disappointments, hardships, decay, and illness etches its hurt on the heart and the outward appearance of your treasure, that doesn’t change the fact that God calls her a treasure.
Marriage is never the problem. God created marriage, and its good (Genesis 2:18-25). The issue is an old selfish sin nature that resides in both husband and wife, and the answer is to be what you became at salvation, I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20).
Husbands, live in and by the truths of Romans 6-8, and you will be able to love your wife as Christ so loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).
She is the favor of God in your life. By God’s grace and the love of Christ in you, love her, protect her, hide her, hold her, invest in her, adore her and cherish her!
In a recent post, I joyfully announced the upcoming transition of ministry after serving as lead pastor for 24 years at Boones Creek Bible Church. Perhaps I did not communicate effectively, so for clarity sake, may I say, retirement is not a part of this transition.
Denise and I will continue to serve at BCBC, but my role will change to associate pastor. This means that I’ll continue to serve by teaching an elective, biblical counselling, leading a small group, visitation, leading the senior’s ministry, preach when needed, etc.
This change allows Denise and me to pursue a passion that has stirred in my heart for a long time and that is ministering to pastors and their wives. I don’t need to look at statistics to know that pastors and their wives need great encouragement. All I need to do is look back over my 40 years of full-time ministry as well as growing up in a pastor’s home to be assured of this huge need. Add to that the number of pastors and wives we have already counseled as well as hearing of needs along the way, we are so drawn to this ministry of refreshment.
Denise and I are available to serve the local church in other capacities as well. Check out the speaking page on my blog for helpful information. Will you prayerfully consider letting us have the rich blessing of coming alongside you and the ministry where you serve to be a refuge and refreshment by the grace of God?
We’re refiring, not retiring!
fromapastorsheart.com 