My wife has done a great job writing this week about marriage. Today’s post is awesome! Please check it out as well as the rest of the week!
Ten Choices That Will Help Get Your Marriage to the Finish Line
Category: Christian Living
Motion Songs, Scripture Memory & Joy-Filled Believers
Last night in prayer meeting, we shared in a family-friendly service. After singing a couple of gospel songs, one by request, we had the kids up front leading the singing of some good, old children’s songs, two of which had motions. It was fun to look back at the adults who were doing the motions as well, especially on singing “Only a Boy Named David.”
After singing “Boys and Girls for Jesus” we took prayer requests for the unsaved. How precious to hear these children and adults mention their loved ones, friends, and neighbors’ names. We then broke up into small groups with adults and children praying out loud for the lost. How sweet to hold a 4 year old boy in my lap as he prayed in his own precious way, and it was not a short prayer either.
When we gathered back together, we sang the old gospel song, “I Love to Tell the Story.”
I’ve challenged our congregation to memorize Ephesians 4:1-16 over the next two months. Hence, we then worked on 4:1-3 as a family or in small groups. The drill was to say 4:1-3 five times aloud in unison as a group. Then, one person in each group would take the lead in saying the passage leaving out words for the rest of the group to fill in. This was a blast! The laughter and joy of memorizing Scripture was so cool! Then some of folks stood and recited 4:1-3 which was followed by encouraging applause.
We then took Ephesians 4:1 and broke it down word-for-word learning the meaning and the application. How cool to watch everyone search through Ephesians 1-3 to find what Paul meant when he said in 4:1 to walk worthy of the vocation to which you are called. The kids did a great job with their answers straight from Scripture.
What a precious time we had as a church family in community last night.
The ice cream treat with my wife and the sunset afterwards was an added blessing, too!
From a pastor’s heart,
Dale
All the Questions of Life
Where do you go when you don’t know what to do?
Who do you call first when you receive devastating news?
When you need wisdom for a major decision, what is your first response?
When your world comes crashing down around your feet, where do you run to hide?
For all of the questions of life, who do you ask or whom do you seek?
Every day of our lives, we are faced with decisions and/or unanswered questions and/or needing a sign post to point us the way and/or a place of shelter from the storm. For all situations of life, for all the questions of life, and for all the unknowns of life, will you meditate on the following? I believe you will see the answer in these passages to the questions of life.
Therefore submit to God. . . . Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. (James 4:7-8, 10)
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. (James 1:5)
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28)
97Oh, how I love Your law!
It is my meditation all the day.
98 You, through Your commandments, make me wiser than my enemies;
For they are ever with me.
99 I have more understanding than all my teachers,
For Your testimonies are my meditation.
100 I understand more than the ancients,
Because I keep Your precepts.
101 I have restrained my feet from every evil way,
That I may keep Your word.
102 I have not departed from Your judgments,
For You Yourself have taught me.
103 How sweet are Your words to my taste,
Sweeter than honey to my mouth!
104 Through Your precepts I get understanding;
Therefore I hate every false way. (Psalm 119:97-104)
And he (Christ) is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)
After meditating on these passages, listen to I Run to Christ
Keeping Your Marriage Fresh – Part 2
So what did you do yesterday to add some freshness to your marriage? Here’s six more suggestions to help you get fresh with each other!
- Work at your marriage every day. Marriage is never static; it never runs on auto-pilot. You are either making deposits or withdrawals. It’s the little things you do each day that make the big things you do, big! Little things like:
- A love note on the bathroom mirror (dry erase marker).
- Opening the car door for your wife.
- A wink across the room.
- A dance step or two on Aisle 5 at Kroger’s when you hear a love song being played.
- A lingering kiss on the curb of the parking lot before leaving the restaurant or on the porch just as you arrive home from that romantic date night. (Be sure to ask the hostess for a corner table)
- Saying, “I love you.”
- Read books about marriage. Men, it has been said, “Leaders are readers.” Since you are the leader in your relationship, I recommend a new book by Robert Wolgemuth, Like the Shepherd, Leading Your Marriage With Love and Grace. Ladies, my wife suggests the book What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions by Linda Dillow.
- Put down your smartphone and talk. Enough said.
- Have a set time for the children to go to bed. They are precious souls, but they can be a major hindrance to a healthy marriage. They need their rest; your marriage needs your undivided attention. By the way, make sure the kiddos sleep in their own bed . . . not with you. One day you will have to say “good-bye” to them. When you do, you want a fresh marriage not a “and who are you?” marriage.
- Get out of that rut! If you have been married for any length of time, there’s the potential for a rut-marriage. So make some plans to be creative.
- Try some different foods for supper.
- Take a different route home; not the logical way. Enjoy the journey.
- Sit on the same side of the booth at a restaurant.
- Do something wild & crazy!
- Enjoy intimacy at a different time of the day . . . make it a surprise!
- Take care of yourself. As you age, things start to shift and your body changes. Watch what you eat. Exercise. Stay healthy.
Marriage is a grace gift from God. Be sure to steward this gift in a way that will glorify Him and encourage your spouse. The Lord will help you if you seek His face. He wants your marriage to be the best.
So, stay fresh by getting’ fresh with each other, again. If you need further inspiration, read Song of Solomon.
Keeping Your Marriage Fresh
June is a good month to get married. Just ask the thousands who will walk an aisle during this month to promise their lives to each other “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.”
June 20th, my wife and I will celebrate 36 years together. Those years have contained many, many days of laughter and joy, many days of burdens and sorrows, and many, many days of answered prayer. God has been so good to us.
Today, I want to share with you five ways to keep your marriage fresh even after 36 years. Tomorrow, I’ll give you five more.
- Be assured of a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ alone. “God made all of us to have a personal, vibrant relationship with Him. Whoever you are and wherever you’ve been, God is personally interested in you and longs to share a close relationship with you.” Watch the following video to learn more about the most important relationship: The Gospel
- Live together in the Word of God. Since God has created marriage, the best place to learn how marriage is to operate is to read the Creator’s Word. Share with each other what God has personally taught you in His Word and read the Word together. The Word of God is never stale, so glean from its fresh manna everyday.
- Pray together. One of the best ways to keep your marriage fresh and to stay connected is to pray throughout the day together, at meals, when burdens arise, when wisdom is needed, and before you drift off to sleep.
- Have fun. It is so easy to grow old in your marriage, get used to each other, and then forget how to enjoy life. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Keep a light heart. Laugh with each other; laugh at yourself. I mean, who needs comedians? We have people! We are just funny!
- Keep on dating. Men, remember what you did to win your girl’s heart? Go back to those days.
- You can have a quiet date on the back porch after the kids go to bed . . . star gazing!
- Take a walk around the neighborhood and hold hands. Stop along the way to enjoy the flowers, the scenery, and each other. Kissing is permitted on the sidewalk in public!
- Buy one ice cream cone and share it as you sit in your car listening to the old songs of your dating years. When the ice cream is gone, put your arms to good use!
- Play a game and enjoy a bowl of popcorn.
So, what will you do today to get fresh, be fresh, and live refreshingly with your spouse?
From a pastor’s heart,
Dale
Three Anchor Truths In the Middle of the Storm
Lately I have found myself repeatedly singing,
In the eye of the storm, You remain in control
In the middle of the war, You guard my soul
You alone are the anchor, when my sails are torn
Your love surrounds me, in the eye of the storm. (Ryan Stevenson)
The trials and hardships of life, others and mine, at times seem to be so burdensome, numerous, and troubling.
How do we press on in the eye of the storm? How do we stay afloat? As I pondered these things, three anchor truths came to mind that can be your stay in the middle of the storm.
#1 Christ suffered, bled and died for me and my sins.
The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28).
Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God (1 Peter 3:18).
When I consider the pain of my trial, I must look to Christ Who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself (Hebrews 12:3) to save me from my greatest crisis. What is my greatest crisis? The answer: How do I save myself from going to hell because I am a sinner? Since Jesus Christ took care of my greatest crisis and the tomb is empty, He will enable me to make it through any other crisis.
#2 Christ’s resurrection gives me blazing hope
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time (1 Peter 1:3-5).
Hope in the New Testament is a…
- blessed hope (Titus 2:13)
- joyful hope (1 Thess. 2:19; Rom. 12:12)
- comforting hope (1Thess. 4:13-18)
- hope of glory (Col. 1:27)
- anchoring hope (Heb. 6:19)
“When a Christian truly understands the hope he has in Christ, it results in a steadfast sense of security and stability.” (Gene Getz)
#3 Being in Christ promises me an awesome future!
For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:15-18)
Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 20:1-4)
Jesus, being God and having been in a boat in the eye of a storm (Mark 4:35-41), is the only true Anchor for life, trouble, sorrow, persecution, misunderstanding, questions, death, pain, sin, etc.
Let’s Celebrate Sin!
Two promising, young lives are traveling together down an interstate and are hit head-on by a drunk driver almost snuffing out both of their lives. Due to this man’s inebriated state, he could not command a car, comprehend reality, or respond quickly to his error. He was controlled by his alcohol which depending on what brand he drank was at some point celebrated via commercials, billboards, friends, and sadly even city/county commissioners who most likely voted for establishments like this to operate in their town. The commissioners probably even congratulated this new store owner and wished him good success.
Friends, there is nothing to celebrate concerning alcohol! There is no virtue in alcohol. Drunkenness is sin (Proverbs 20:1; 23:29-35; Galatians 5:21; Ephesians 5:18a). How sad that anyone thinks they have to have some form of alcohol to have a good time, to have a celebration!
Not only do I have a disdain for any form of alcohol because of the warnings of Scripture, but also because those two young folks are my daughter and son-in-law. They were hit head on by a drunk driver going the wrong way on Interstate 26 near Asheville, NC. By his choice, he chose to idolize moonshine which took total control of him. This was his third offense, and he only received 45 days in jail!
I live in a town that glories in its craft beers, alcohol-laden festivals, and even has a city commission that gets more excited over a new beer establishment than they do standing to pledge to the American flag.
You want to celebrate sin?
A young couple chooses to have sex outside of marriage, and the young girl ends up pregnant. How shameful, how sad . . . at least it used to be. Because they could not wait and because they believed the lies of the devil and their flesh, they’re now bringing into this world a child in a way that God never intended.
There are many passages of Scripture declaring sex before marriage to be sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). Yes, God demands complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).
Yet, how grieved to see announcements posted on social media as if it is a blessing from God! I understand that 1 John 1:9 and Romans 5:20 are still in the Bible, but when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin and sin when it is finished brings forth death (James 1:16) . . . and we celebrate it! Why when such sin is announced, born again believers who know the Word express notes of joy as if it is wonderful! Please, do not misunderstand, I believe we should love this couple and their child back to the Lord, but my point is, how can sin be celebrated in any way shape or form?
You want to celebrate sin?
Ask Adam and Eve what they think about sin? Ask Cain what he thinks about sin? Ask Samson his perspective on sin? Ask King David what he thinks about sin? And the list could go on. Especially ask the Lord Jesus Christ Who bore the sins of the whole world, past, present and future in utmost agony, sorrow, and pain (Matthew 27:45-46; 2 Corinthians 5:21) while hanging on the cross.
You want to celebrate sin?
There are a host of other scenarios I could mention, but in closing, consider the following passages:
Sin is a reproach to anybody (Proverbs 14:26b).
By transgression an evil man is snared, but the righteous sings and rejoices (Proverbs 29:6).
Resting Secure in His Arms
Our world has changed so much since the beginning of February when foster grand-babies entered our lives. Yes, you did see that as plural . . . twin boys. Born at 24 weeks and now moving toward seven months old.
As I fed one of the boys last Friday morning, burped him, and then felt him go to sleep on my shoulder, I began to pray with tears streaming down my cheeks. In his attempt to drift off, he fought it for a while, whimpering, and moving his head back and forth. It was then I drew him to my face and neck as I sang to him holding him ever so close. After a few minutes, he was resting, breathing comfortably, and secure in Papaw’s arms.
My tears were not only because of our love for these boys, but also due to what the Lord reminded me as I prayed. There are times I am fussy, discontent, worried, fretting, fearful, and questioning why. Never leaving me or forsaking me, my Heavenly Father is there to draw me to His side. I just need to stop fighting it. I need to stop trying to hold up my own head and simply rest on His shoulder. There I always find Him to be that quiet place of refuge and strength; that eternal abode of contentment; that One Who accepts me in the Beloved . . . quiet and secure in my Heavenly Father’s arms.
Psalm 62:1 Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.
Psalm 119:114 You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.
I Could Punch Him in the Mouth!
Recently while listening to an angry man, those words were uttered and then ended with a bit of a smile as if it made his indignation acceptable.
Folks, we live in an angry world! And you are asking me, “Did you just climb out from under a rock?!?!”
Well, truth is, in the past few weeks I have heard and seen the fruit that comes from that root. Anger, wrath, bitterness from an evil heart destroys.
What does the Bible say about anger? Please take time to read these passages and let them sink into your heart.
- Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.
- Proverbs 14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
- Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Proverbs 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
- Proverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
- Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
- Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
- Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.
- Ephesians 4:26-27, 31 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
- Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.
- James 1:19-20 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
Anger rooted in a selfish, sinful, deceitful heart (Jeremiah 17:9) always produces fruit that damages and often destroys lives, homes, churches, marriages, and the world around you.
If you are person given to anger, please soak your soul in these truths from God’s Word. Repent, be reconciled, and memorize these passages. Better to think on truth that sets you free than on the offense that will eat you up inside and cause your heart to be outwardly exposed.
To be angry about trifles is mean and childish; to rage and be furious is brutish; and to maintain perpetual wrath is akin to the practice and temper of devils; but to prevent and suppress rising resentment is wise and glorious, is manly and divine. (Isaac Watts)
Go ahead . . . punch him in the mouth. Then, who’s the fool?
A Towers or Del-Mar Marriage
Last week, my wife and I had a great time away for four days at our favorite beach location, Towers on the Grove, North Myrtle Beach, SC. We like the fact that it’s located at the northeast end of the Grand Strand, that the people population is sparse, and that the facilities are always clean, updated, and given constant attention.
On a personal note, having lived in Myrtle Beach in the late 60’s, time spent at the beach brings back many memories. In past vacation trips, I have driven by the house we lived in and found it in need of repair. Last week while driving down Ocean Boulevard in North Myrtle Beach, I saw where one of the Del-Mar Motel that remained from the 50-60’s era had been leveled. Then as we drove through other areas of the beach, we saw even more buildings that have deteriorated over the years.
Marriage is like a drive around Myrtle Beach. Just as a building/house needs constant upkeep to remain fresh, just like Towers on the Grove as opposed to the Del-Mar Inn, marriage needs daily attention to keep it fresh.
One truth, among others, that has guided Denise and me through our soon to be 36 years of marriage is this: You must work at your marriage every day. Marriage does not operate efficiently on auto-pilot. As a matter of fact, there is no default setting for marriage called auto-pilot. Today, your marriage is continuing to be fresh or it is deteriorating. The choice is totally up to you.
Look at your marriage. What areas need improvement, a “fresh coat of paint”? Is there a squeaky board or door that needs attention? How about some weeds in the front lawn that need to be replaced with some fresh flowers?
Ask the Lord in prayer to reveal what areas of your marriage need attention. Talk about it with your spouse. Come up with a plan of action, areas of change that will occur, what it will take to make this action work, and then dive into the project together! Enjoy the work! Stop and kiss every once-in-awhile. Hug each other. Text one another. Go back to the sweetness of dating days and do it again!
May I also add, do not take for granted any successful area of your marriage. As soon as you do, it won’t take long for the shutters to start clapping against the wall, if you know what I mean.
By the way, one of the major reasons Denise and I went away last week was to work on our marriage. We intentionally put these times in our calendar. Marriage is too precious of a gift from God to let it get old, cold, and decaying (Genesis 2:18-25; Ephesians 5:18-33).
A Towers marriage takes daily attention and prayer. A Del-Mar marriage ends up like this motel that was once a new motel that became known in latter years for bed-begs, drugs, and prostitution. Now it is no longer standing. Sadly, too many marriages become like the Del-Mar Inn.
Get to work, folks! The choice is yours. Start today!
fromapastorsheart.com 