Taking the Scenic Route in Marriage #5

Gatlinburg Date

(Enjoying the Pleasures; Avoiding the Potholes)

If you were to listen to many conversations about marriage in your world, you would leave thinking that marriage was created to make people miserable. Contrary to the world’s idea of marriage, there are many pleasures in marriages.  God created us to enjoy fellowship with Him and with our spouse, all by the grace of God.

Last week we began to look at the pleasures of marriage, and I am doing so from the husband’s point of view.  After all, he is the loving, servant leader in the home.  So men, here we go!

The first major area of pleasure in marriage is being your wife’s protection, her security which is found in:

  1. Open, honest, loving communication
  2. Continuous pursuit

What did you do to snag your gal; to get her to marry you?  Remember how you looked adorningly into her eyes?  Did you open the car door for her and seat her at the table?  What about those flowers, cards, and other expressions of love and pursuit?

Are you doing those things now?  I will never understand why a man does so much to get his girl, but when they get married his chivalrous actions decline or cease altogether.

Certainly, it is so easy to get wrapped up in your job, your ministry, your kids, your recreation, your truck/car, and/or your own world that marriage and romance decline.  Sadly, your wife becomes your meal-maker, clothes-cleaner, need-meeter . . . and that’s all.

Sir, your wife needs you to continually pursue her, to be thoughtful of her, to love her, to adore her.  Give her your best every day!  Kiss, hug, hold hands when you are riding in the car or walking into church, sit close beside her, leave love notes, send her a texts throughout your day, bring her flowers or her favorite candy car/treat, stop by TJMaxx and buy her a nice outfit/sleepwear/running clothes, etc.

In summary, talk to her, pay attention to her, and hold her like you do your smartphone!

Go after her like you did in the old days . . . or like you did last year before you were married.

Men, take a cue from Solomon (4:9-11) and passionately pursue your wife with your words today for starters.  Take her in your arms and hold on to her like you did when you were dating!

You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
10 How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
11 Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

Keeping Your Marriage Fresh – Part 2

Dale & Denise

So what did you do yesterday to add some freshness to your marriage?  Here’s six more suggestions to help you get fresh with each other!

  1. Work at your marriage every day. Marriage is never static; it never runs on auto-pilot.  You are either making deposits or withdrawals.  It’s the little things you do each day that make the big things you do, big!  Little things like:
  • A love note on the bathroom mirror (dry erase marker).
  • Opening the car door for your wife.
  • A wink across the room.
  • A dance step or two on Aisle 5 at Kroger’s when you hear a love song being played.
  • A lingering kiss on the curb of the parking lot before leaving the restaurant or on the porch just as you arrive home from that romantic date night. (Be sure to ask the hostess for a corner table)
  • Saying, “I love you.”
  1. Read books about marriage. Men, it has been said, “Leaders are readers.” Since you are the leader in your relationship, I recommend a new book by Robert Wolgemuth, Like the Shepherd, Leading Your Marriage With Love and Grace.   Ladies, my wife suggests the book What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions by Linda Dillow.
  2. Put down your smartphone and talk. Enough said.
  3. Have a set time for the children to go to bed. They are precious souls, but they can be a major hindrance to a healthy marriage.  They need their rest; your marriage needs your undivided attention.  By the way, make sure the kiddos sleep in their own bed . . . not with you.  One day you will have to say “good-bye” to them.  When you do, you want a fresh marriage not a “and who are you?” marriage.
  4. Get out of that rut! If you have been married for any length of time, there’s the potential for a rut-marriage.  So make some plans to be creative.
  • Try some different foods for supper.
  • Take a different route home; not the logical way. Enjoy the journey.
  • Sit on the same side of the booth at a restaurant.
  • Do something wild & crazy!
  • Enjoy intimacy at a different time of the day . . . make it a surprise!
  1. Take care of yourself. As you age, things start to shift and your body changes.   Watch what you eat.  Exercise.  Stay healthy.

Marriage is a grace gift from God.  Be sure to steward this gift in a way that will glorify Him and encourage your spouse.  The Lord will help you if you seek His face.  He wants your marriage to be the best.

So, stay fresh by getting’ fresh with each other, again.  If you need further inspiration, read Song of Solomon.

Friday’s Findings

Here we are at end of the week, and I’m sharing some blog posts that lead into Valentine’s Day.  Hope these are helpful.  I trust that your weekend is filled with many answers to prayer, opportunities to serve, and full of God-glorifying, Christ-exalting, Spirit-filled worship!

23 Things Love Is  – Here’s a good post written by Paul Tripp for you and your spouse to read through to see if you are really loving each other as God would have you to.  Be honest with each other.  It will do you and your relationship much good!

Love Is Not For Sissies: How Trials Make Love Stronger – Enough said; great post.

Improve Your Marriage Today – Here are three simple steps to help your marriage move on and grow!

Everyday Romance – How Sweet  It Is – This is one of the best blog’s out there about love and marriage.  Looking for some practical tips, advice, and ideas, this is it!  This post is a simple one that will keep romance in your relationship. Check it out and get out of your rut (if you’re in one)!!  Thanks, Debi, for all you work.

Friday’s Findings

7 Things Your Church Needs From YouTim Challies writes one of those, “Man, I wish I had written this one!” blog posts. This is spot on.

Practical Evangelism HelpWhat if faithful evangelism didn’t involve anything extra but simply intentionally doing what you already do?

Making Time for Romance When Life Is Too BusyThis is one of my favorite marriage blogs. Here’s some practical tips that will help you add what is often missing in so many marriages today!

The Importance of Family Mealtime“Our family table can never be replaced by a restaurant table!” This was a good follow up comment to this blog post written by my precious wife who went to great lengths to provide wonderful food and great memories around the table! Thanks, Hon!

It’s All in the Presentation – One of my favorite moments from the Cosby Show.