“The Pastor’s Wife”

Last evening I was sitting in our family room chatting with my wife. She shared some thoughts from her heart about an upcoming speaking opportunity to be addressed to pastors’ wives.

Almost every Sunday in the morning gathering in my introductory remarks, I introduce my wife as well as our assistant pastor and his wife. “I’m Pastor C and this is my wife, Denise.” More often than not, she is characterized as “the pastor’s wife” or perhaps in the minds of those who have known us here for almost 21 years, “our pastor’s wife.”

I love the sound of those descriptions. You see, I have had the privilege of being a lead pastor for 39 years, and my sweet wife has been by my side through it all . . . as my wife.

For every pastor, his most important ministry is his wife, then his children, and then his “neighbors” (next door, down the street, church, town, the world). For the wife, her first ministry is always to her husband and then her children and beyond.

A long and varied job description for “the pastor’s wife” has been created by thousands over the years, but the truth is, the pastor’s wife is his wife first and foremost. Her “job description”(as a woman, a wife, a follower of Jesus Christ) is found in Proverbs 31:10-31, Ephesians 5:1-33, Colossians 3:1-25; Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-12, as well as other passages. As to how she serves in ministry, that is between her, the Lord and the loving leadership and protection of her husband.

The pastor’s wife is a born-again believer, saved through the cross-work of Jesus Christ, and living out the Christ-life (John 15:1-11; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27) through the power of the Holy Spirit within her (John 14:16-23). She is no different than the other ladies in the church who are under the same guidelines as the passages listed above.

She is not the “first lady the church.” or Mrs. Preacher or “the pastor’s wife.” She is a servant of the Lord as is every other born again lady in the local church. She does not have a position. Her identity is first of all in Christ, and then, as in the case of my wife, just that, my wife, my best friend, my sweetheart, as well as mom to our daughters, Gigi to our grandsons, and Denise to everyone else.

She needs prayer, friends, love, her family, compassion, prayer, grace, kindness, space to grow, not placed on a man-made pedestal, prayer, laughter, fellowship, encouragement, and prayer.

Ladies, if the pastor’s wife listens and prays with you after you have shared your burden with her, or confronts you about some habitual sin in your life because she cares, or wants to have lunch with you so she can disciple you and lead you further in your walk with Christ, it’s not because she’s “the pastor’s wife.” It has everything to do with her love for you, her obedience to the one another’s in Scripture, her love for God and her neighbor and her passion to disciple (Matthew 22:37-39; 28:18-20).

So, the next time you see your pastor’s wife, embrace her as your sister in Christ, your friend, and one who is growing and walking with Christ on your journey Home to Glory, not just “the pastor’s wife.”

From a pastor’s heart,

Dale

A Monday

Mondays can be challenging for pastors as your thoughts include such things as . . .

  • Forgetting to recognize from the pulpit the family with a new baby.
  • Blowing the introduction to your Sunday AM message.
  • Reading the tweet from another pastor who had seven salvation decisions, twelve who became members of the church, plus ten baptisms on Sunday.
  • Feeling like you failed again.
  • My heart wanting to take credit for anything that seemed good and successful.
  • Hearing of a disgruntled church member leaving without coming to talk to you in a spirit of gentleness and meekness.
  • Seeing that empty pew of a family that you have tried to visit for the past three weeks but just haven’t gotten it accomplished.
  • Not communicating the announcements very well.
  • Getting a phone call from a fellow pastor and the first thing he asks is, “How’s your church doing?”
  • How tired and drained you feel mentally, physically and spiritually.
  • Wondering what “Brother or Sister ___________” was thinking when they left the service. Their countenance and posture appeared liked something was bothering them. Was it something I said? Was it something I didn’t do?
  • Would the “grass be greener” somewhere else?

These and many other assorted thoughts run through the minds of pastors everywhere on Monday.

Sunday was a blessed day in many ways where I serve, but the battle in the mind still waged its war. How grateful for the oasis of God’s Word that helps on Mondays to redirect my focus and get my heart right again.

Such was the case yesterday.

While reading Numbers 20, my attention was brought to the fact that Moses had experienced two deaths (Miriam and Aaron), two conflicts (Meribah and Edom) and his own disobedience to God’s command at Kadesh where he struck the rock instead of speaking to the rock. Nevertheless, Moses did not give up. He didn’t quit. He kept on moving forward doing the work of God by faith.

As I read these chapters, the following quote spoke to my heart, The Christian life is a series of new beginnings. It’s always too soon to quit!

“Thank You, Lord, for the testimony of your presence, power, and patience to sustain Moses. Thank You for redirecting my thinking as you reminded me of Your goodness and grace which enables me to ‘take up my rod’ and move forward.”

This I know, that God is for me.
10 In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise,
11 in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.

13 For you have delivered my soul from death,
yes, my feet from falling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

(Psalm 56:9b-11a, 13)

From a pastor’s heart,

dale

500+ Singing Men!!

“I was blown away by the singing from the very first song!”

That was the testimony from one of our men who attended Men’s Prayer Advance for the first time last week. Singing is one of the blessed ingredients of three days of the Advance in accordance to the Word of God.

Psalm 13: 6 – I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 30:4 – Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

Psalm 47:6 – Sing praises to God, sing praises: sing praises unto our King, sing praises.

Psalm 89:1 – I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 149:1 – Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints.

Acts 16:25 – And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.

Colossians 3:16 – Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

There are two threads woven through these Scripture passages.  First of all, singing is mentioned in each verse.  The second the point of this blog post.  These and many other references found in the Bible mention men who sang.  Some of these were David, Heman, Ethan, Jeduthun, Asaph, Paul, Silas and a host of others!  These men were not weak men, but men of God who fought, endured hardships, and stood for righteousness!

Men should be the spiritual leaders in every area of the Christian walk, and therefore, we should also be the leaders in singing praise to our God! 

In John MacArthur’s commentary on Ephesians 5:18-19, (The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Ephesians [Moody Press], p. 256) he writes, “The first consequence of the Spirit-filled life that Paul mentioned was not mountain-moving faith, an ecstatic spiritual experience, dynamic speaking ability, or any other such thing. It was simply a heart that sings.”

“Joyful, exuberant, heart-felt singing is one evidence that a church is Spirit-filled.” (Steven Cole, Spirit-Filled Singing, Bible.org)

Imagine being in a group of 500-700 men lifting their hearts and voices in song to God in praise and thanksgiving for Who He is and what He has done!! That’s Men’s Prayer Advance! Every service is one of anticipatory, expectant singing that causes you to long for Christ and the glorious worship in Heaven! Hands are raised, tears flow, shouts of joy ring out as men are edified and encouraged and God is glorified!!

Men, may I challenge you to be th e leader in singing at home and in church?  Will you join us this April 7-9, 2022 or January 2023 for Men’s Prayer Advance.  I have experienced this gathering over and again, and it is a bit of heaven on this side!

Men’s Prayer Advance Albemarle, NC

Men’s Prayer Advance, January 2023

Men, How Would You Answer?

The following question was given on Facebook:

Which would you rather be known as:

  1. A good man
  2. A man who is “good at being a man?”

Why?

The first thought that came to my mind was the human connotation of being known as a “good man” (#1); a morally good man, a nice person.  Nothing wrong with that, but goodness alone will not get me to heaven (Romans 3:10; 5:6-8).

Then I considered the second option and quickly said, “No.”  In every area of the world, even in my own neighborhood, there is a varied criteria for what makes up a man.  So the standard for being “good at being a man” would fluctuate like corn stalks in the wind.

men

So which is the correct answer?

I chose #1.  Why?  Well, when it comes to having an absolute standard on the issues of life, you turn to the Word of God.  These passages of Scripture give us the characteristics of a good man.  Check’em out, men!

Psalm 37:23 – The steps of a good man (“a strong man, a warrior”) are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way.

Psalm 112:5 – A good man (“happy; joyful; benevolent”) deals graciously and lends; He will guide his affairs with discretion.

Proverbs 12:2 – A good man (“happy; joyful; benevolent”) obtains favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 13:22 A good man (“happy; joyful; benevolent”) leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.

Proverbs 14:14 – The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways, But a good man (“happy; joyful; benevolent”) will be satisfied from above.

Matthew 12:35 – A good man (denotes the soul considered as a compilation of pure thoughts which are brought forth in speech) out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.

Acts 11:24 – For he was a good man (upright, honorable), full of the Holy Spirit and of faith.

In reality, a good man is he who has surrendered to the Christ-life (Romans 6:1-14; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:15-18, 27; 2 Peter 3:18)

So men, which would you rather be known as?  #1 or #2?

How To Talk About Your Church (2)

Many, many thoughts were shared yesterday across America about the Sunday church services—the preaching, the music, those born again, the length of the service, the nursery, the interruptions, the coffee and donuts at fellowship time, the bulletin, the temperature in the building, baptisms, the empty pews or full-house, etc.

What were some of your comments?

Last week, I shared the first part of How To Talk About Your Church. Today I want us to consider another familiar statement made about the local church that I hope will encourage and edify.

“I’m not getting fed at our church.

Certainly it is every pastor’s privilege and responsibility to teach the Word of God (1 Timothy 3:2; 4:12-16; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; 4:2).  This mandate is not to be taken lightly.  We have been commanded to feed the flock of God (1 Peter 5:2) with “good grain” from the Word. 

That being said, the responsibility for your spiritual growth is not the pastor’s. You are to be a student of the Word (Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:1-3; Hebrews 5:12-14) hiding it in your heart (Psalm119:11) and making it your own in daily application.  As the pastor feeds you, it whets your appetite to grow and know your God more and more.  If your pastor is weak in that area, pray for him.  Pray that his early morning hours will be a time of intimate relationship with God. Pray that Truth will so grip him that on Sundays he will preach from the “overflow.” The hours he spends in sermon preparation is time consuming as well as physically and mentally demanding.  Perhaps he is doing too much in ministry.  Ask him what you can do to lighten his load so he can pray and study.  He has not been “hired” to do the entire soul winning, visitation, discipleship, and administration of the church.  You need to join up with him in teamwork for the Savior.  Meet with your under-shepherd for coffee and pray that you may come to know him, encourage him and be his “Barnabas.”  Remember them . . . who have spoken unto you the word of God . . . . for they watch for your souls, as they must give an account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief (Hebrews 13:7, 17).

I close with a reminder.  The local church consists of sinners.  It is a spiritual hospital for a sin-sick, mentally-hurting, heart-broken, doubting, discouraged, worn-out society.  For every issue of life, Christ and His Word is the answer, the remedy.  Therefore, point to Christ first in all things in the church (Colossians 1:15-19).  It is His Church. He died for it (Ephesians 5:25).

By the way, a lost world is watching and listening to us.  Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers (Ephesians 4:29).  What have you said about your local church this past month?  What have you said about your Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ?

See you Sunday!

How To Talk About Your Church

  • “Well, I walked into church, and no one spoke to me!” 
  • “Every Sunday, my heart is stirred, and I leave knowing I have met with my Lord!” 
  • “Our preacher (fill-in-the-blank)!” 
  • “All our church knows to do is ask for money!” 
  • “Our kids’ ministry is awesome!”

These and a whole host of other statements, both positive and negative, true and false, have been and continue to be said about the local church. In connection with yesterday’s post, Covid’s Speech Lesson, I want us to consider what is said to others about the local gathering we attend. Let’s look at one of them.

“Our church (or, That church) is so unfriendly!”

There’s a quick remedy for that one. Proverbs 18:24 reminds us, He that has friends must himself be friendly.  Next Sunday, before you get out of your car, pray by yourself or with your spouse or your family, “Lord, I surrender to You, Who dwells in me, to be friendly, compassionate, listening, and caring to all we meet. And, lead us to the seats in the auditorium where You want us to sit today that we may help move folks around one step toward Christ.”

Think about it. If we are given to say that our church is not friendly, then perhaps we are not friendly because we are the church. We as born again believers are the body of Christ. Therefore, when we gather, we are more than just friendly on “the outside.” We desire to go deeper by showing mercy to those around us. We greet others with a firm handshake or a fist-bump or with raised eyebrows (for mask-wearers) and a word of greeting. Try to refrain from the norm, “How you doing?” and move on.

If you are greeting a visitor/guest, stop, speak to them, give your name, listen for their name(s) and use their name(s) immediately so you can begin to remember it. Put yourself in their shoes. Consider how you can make them feel at home; as if they were entering your living room. As you chat with them, don’t be in hurry. Introduce them to those serving at the Welcome Center. Ask questions and give guidance to the auditorium or nursery or fellowship area. Pray with them.

Sometime during the week, send a thank you note or a text or give them a call to let them know you have prayed for them. Make sure they know you genuinely care.

True friendliness is grounded in the person of Christ. He spent time with His disciples and others (John 3:22). He initiated conversations (John 4:7-42). He came to serve others (Mark 10:45). He prayed for others (John 17). He visited in homes (Luke 19:1-10). He reached out to sinners (John 8:1-11).

Since we can do all things through Christ as He lives His life through us, we can ignite a culture of biblical friendliness in our local congregation that will be contagious for Christ and to others!!

“That congregation is so friendly! They are genuine; they really care!”

Sing With Shiloh!

1 Who is he born in the stall,
at whose feet the shepherds fall?
Who is he in deep distress,
fasting in the wilderness?
Refrain:
‘Tis the Lord, O wondrous story!
‘Tis the Lord, the King of glory!
At his feet we humbly fall,
crown him, crown him, Lord of all!
4 Lo! at midnight, who is he
prays in dark Gethsemane?
Who is he upon the tree
dies in grief and agony? [Refrain]
5 Who is he that from the grave
comes to heal and help and save?
Who is he that from his throne
rules thro’ all the world alone? [Refrain]

Tears of joy ran down my face Sunday morning as we congregationally sang the rich text of Who Is He in Yonder Stall?. As the full song recounts the life of Christ, the refrain resounds with praise and attention given to the Lord Jesus Christ in His humiliation and kingship! Indeed, He alone is worthy of our worship!

Joy also flowed because this was my first Sunday back in church since November 28th due to covid.

But that’s not all. Joy welled up in my heart in response to the congregation singing! From my vantage point on the back row, it sounded like a full choir seated in the pews ringing out praises to our matchless Savior and Lord!

Folks, that’s the way it should be in every Sunday gathering! Indeed, I am grateful for every aspect of music ministry in a service, but a congregation singing with all their hearts to the Lord is hard to beat! As each believer thinks through the words of each song while focusing their attention on singing to the Lord and to one another, something grand occurs . . . worship, discipleship, praise, presence, conviction, unity, encouragement, emotion and adoration! The issue is not talent but a heart engaged in proclaiming the greatness of our God and our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ!

If you want an example of what I am describing, you need to join me on Sunday morning as my five year old grandson, Shiloh, gives uninhibited praise to God! Yesterday, he joined in as we sang:

I rejoice in my Redeemer
Greatest Treasure,
Wellspring of my soul
I will trust in Him, no other.
My soul is satisfied in Him alone.

(Keith & Kristen Getty)

After the service, several folks mentioned to his mom and my wife that they could hear Shiloh singing! Where did he learn to sing like that? By being in church watching others around him as well as the influence of his home.

God wants us to sing, and He wants to hear you sing!

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Colossians 3:16)

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! (Psalm 95:1-2)

So, this Sunday, will you join with other believers around the world as well as those seated around you in singing praise to our God? I’m looking forward to singing with Shiloh this Sunday, too!

21 Days of Prayer (Day #21)

You made it! How marvelous it has been to intentionally set aside a time to remove all distractions and behold the wonder of our God. Thank you!!! I’m sure you could say as Solomon, Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, Who only does wondrous things! And blessed be His glorious name forever! And let the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen. (Psalm 72:18-19). Indeed, this will fully occur when Christ comes to reign, but how wonderful through prayer to see God’s will done on earth as it in heaven (Matt. 6:10) right now!

As we wrap up this 21 day journey, may I encourage you . . .

  • Do not let up! Keep on delighting in God through intimate conversations in the Secret Place (Psalm 91:1-4). Stay out of the rut of dull routine. Truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full. (1 John 1:3-4)
  • Continue to pray with your spouse, your children, your brothers and sisters in Christ, your neighbors, etc. Meal time praying does not count. Your best conversations will always be with others at the Throne of God. (Hebrews 4:14-16; James 5:16, Pray one for another.)
  • Seek the Lord each day whereby you reach such a level of intimacy with God that the only thing that can account for your prayer life is that it has become one with the prayer life of Jesus Christ. (Matthew 6:8; John 17; Romans 8:26)
  • Join with your church family in making prayer the primary ministry at BCBC. How I long for the auditorium to be filled at 8:30 on Sunday mornings with “the 10:30 crowd” of faith-believing, Word-filled, expectant believers crying out in prayer for the God-sized tasks!! (Jeremiah 33:3) Until we do, we will see God do a few things but not what He really wants to accomplish through His people for His glory. (Matthew 13:58)
  • That prayer would be “hot” in our discipleship small groups that meet on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Answers to prayer would be seen over and over and over and over as we recognize the character of the Giver of all good things!!
  • To abide in Christ in your life of prayer (John 15:7) as we pray without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:17).
  • To earnestly pray that BCBC will fulfill the Great Commission in every area of ministry; that discipleship will be the main motivation of ministry. This is our mandate in this Church Age. (Matthew 28:18-20)
  • Join with Christ in you Who rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. (Mark 1:35)
  • To pray much for this Resurrection Sunday gathering as we acknowledge the One Who gives us resurrection hope in prayer, the reason to pray (Ephesians 1:15-23; Hebrews 7:25). Pray for lost souls to be born of God (1 John 5:1, 11-12)!!!

Again, praise the Lord Who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation (Psalm 68:19); for all He has revealed to us about Himself, our Savior and ourselves during these blessed days of prayer!! Be in awe of Him and believe in Him to do the impossible!

Thank you!

Pastor C

21 Days of Prayer (Day #19)

Our teen ministry at BCBC is based around this mission, “To produce adults who in their independence live their lives for God (Col. 3:1-4).” This mission makes the decisions for what we do and what we study. Colossians 3:1-4 says, If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

We want the teens as they gain independence into adulthood to be convinced that living for God is better than living for anything else. We try to accomplish this through Five Core Values:

  1. Treasuring God (Matt. 6:21)
  2. Build Strong Faith (1 Peter 3:15)
  3. Oneness in the Body (Eph. 4:12)
  4. Discipleship (Matt. 28:18-20)
  5. Christ-Compelled Service (Mark 10:45)

What should we pray for the teen ministry at BCBC? Pray that our teens would be poured into in such a way that they would be convinced that living for God is superior to living for this world. Pray that each core value would be something that is established in each teen.

I often tell the teens what I hope to see in their life one day. I tell them that I want to come to their weddings someday and see them marrying a godly person. I hope to meet their children who are being taught that living for God is better than this world. I hope to find out that they are being discipled and discipling someone in their church. I hope they are an intricate part of a body of believers. Please, join me in prayer for our teens!

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. (3 John 1:4)

Pastor Andrew Isbell

21 Days of Prayer (Day #16)

What a delight to see those precious children waving palm branches and saying “Hosanna!” as they walked down the middle aisle in yesterday’s morning gathering!

Another blessing is seeing dedicated believers teaching the children in Sunday School, and adults in church speaking to the children and interacting with them.

Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” And He laid His hands on them and departed from there. (Matthew 19:13-15)

The example of Jesus is a guide for our prayer time today in reference to one of the ministries at Boones Creek Bible Church, the children’s ministry.

  • Let us pray that parents will intentionally and faithfully bring their children to Jesus. In particular, bringing them to where the body of Christ gathers. The children need to hear about the life of Christ. They need to be taught the doctrines of Christ and salvation, such as regeneration, redemption, adoption, justification, etc.
  • Let us pray that our children will be touched by Christ early on in life receiving the greatest blessing of life, salvation, and then live the Christlife all their days on earth.
  • Let us surrender to pray by name for the children at BCBC.
  • Let us pray that we will see the kingdom of heaven expanded through our children’s ministry.
  • Let us pray that our example as adults does not “forbid” the children from coming to Jesus. May we make Christ attractive to them.
  • Let us pray for the teachers and nursery workers as they minister Jesus to these precious ones.

Thank the Lord for our faithful children’s workers who have a passion to present Christ to our children in a loving, welcoming way! Thank you for serving!!

If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God. -D.L. Moody