Category: Love

Pastors & Valentine’s Day

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Ministry, Scenic Route In Marriage, Uncategorized

There it was! In the midst of all the Christmas decorations on clearance, Valentine’s Day and Easter were making their presence well-known on the retail shelves!

Yes, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Perhaps you have a church banquet planned or some Sweetheart event. Maybe February 14 is not a part of your planning for 2025.

No matter, my question for you ministry friend is, what plans have you made to celebrate Valentine’s with your sweetheart?

Continue reading “Pastors & Valentine’s Day” →

Daily Freshness in Marriage

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Scenic Route In Marriage, Uncategorized

Has your marriage become stale and/or “in a rut”?

Has the “honeymoon” been long gone?

Are you both just living/existing under the same roof?

Recently I shared with my wife that one of the fascinations of our smartphone is the new information, pictures, reels, videos, livestream, etc. that can capture our attention from one frame to the next in rapid-fire, mesmerizing fashion.

Since marriage is a picture of the gospel (Ephesians 5:22-33), and we walk in newness of life in Christ day-by-day, moment-by-moment (Romans 6:4), our marriage should be one of paralleled day-by-day, moment-by-moment renewal. We should be intrigued with our spouse, the other half of us.

What does that look like?

One of the ways of walking in the newness of life in Christ is through keeping short accounts of sin. We are continual repenters (2 Corinthians 7:8-11), confessing our sins, coming under the blood of Christ and appropriating His forgiveness (1 John 1:7-9). This parallels marriage. Everyday our old sin nature is active and can rear its ugly head and we take the bait by sinning against our spouse. Then and there, we need to confess our sin to God and then to our spouse, turn from it, ask for forgiveness (not an apology), and walk in the newness of relationship.

This keeps a marriage fresh from anger, bitterness, grudges, criticism, jealousy, and other mental attitude sins. In exchange is the newness of freedom and restored fellowship, sin covered and not brought again, words of kindness, and the joy of the Christ-life in marriage!

So, is your marriage “hum-drum”? Be fascinated with your other-half today!! One way to do that would be to take a day trip! Let me suggest one in the area of western North Carolina.

Day Trip Enjoying the Scenic Route of Marriage:

Travel the Blue Ridge Parkway to the quaint town of Black Mountain, NC. Begin your day with a stop at the Blue Ridge Biscuit Company & Bakery, then head on over to the Town Hardware & General Store for a step back in time up to the present.

After strolling through the shops, have lunch at Veranda Cafe & Gifts. From there, walk down the hill to an intimate bookstore and coffee shop (downstairs), Sassafras on Sutton . Enjoy a book, a quiet afternoon and a wonderful cup of coffee! You can spend at least a couple of hours in this cozy, romantic shop. For supper, you may want to try The Pure and Proper.

Enjoy the newness of marriage in Christ!!

Weekend Recap

by Dale, posted in D & D Ministries, Love, Marriage

“There is no area that is more important than this. It doesn’t take long to realize that you have married a sinner, and what you do when you make this discovery will determine the character and quality of your union. You will only respond in a way that is right, good, and helpful to your spouse’s sin, weakness, and struggle when you are celebrating the transforming grace of an ever-present, always-faithful Redeemer” (Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, Paul David Tripp, p. 42).

This past weekend, Denise and I had the privilege of leading the Barnhardt Baptist Church, Goodview, VA, Couples’ Retreat. For the past three years they have used the facilities at the Hilton Garden Inn as well as various attractions in Bristol, VA.

As we navigated through the theme of “Marriage on the Gospel Highway,” we watched the Word convict, encourage, strengthen, and change marriages for the glory of God!

We played some crazy games and laughed as couples worked together to win various prizes (restaurant gift cards, candy, Escape Room admission).

Friday night after the first session, a trip to Blackbird Bakery topped off the evening!! There we had the blessed privilege of counseling with a precious young couple who had some well thought out questions about marriage!

Saturday morning, breakfast afforded another opportunity to converse with a couple about marriage and life on the Gospel Highway. After breakfast, Denise and I led split sessions. This room created a warm, intimate setting to gather around the Word. This is one of the many joys the Lord gives us through D & D Ministries!

After a break and checking out of our rooms, we closed out the morning with a final session. How blessed to have a part in seeing couples desire to intentionally grow their marriages in and through Christ on the Gospel Highway!

“So, in your marriage, God will find ways to drive you to the end of yourself so that you will put your hope and strength in him. Your moments of weakness are not the bad moments of accident or bad luck. No, moments of weakness are there because of divine intention. They are the delivery system of glorious forgiving, empowering, and motivating grace. God is using them to rescue you from you and to make you a person who, in marriage, really is committed to love you as you have been loved” (Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make, Paul David Tripp,p. 319).

The Dating Day – Valentines!!

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Men

So where are you and your spouse headed for your Valentine’s Day date?  Perhaps you have already had your date?  Is dating a consistent part of your marriage? One of the most neglected aspects of marriage is continuing to date after marriage.

Remember when you were dating before marriage?  Oh, how you planned, maybe even connived to accomplish seeing each other?  Nothing would stop you.  HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!  May I ask a question?  Why did you stop dating after you were married?  Have you stopped?  Why?

Here are some ideas to help you put that dating spark back into your marriage:

  • After you put the kids to bed, play a game of Farkel and eat popcorn. (Hint: One of the best things you can do for your marriage is put your kids to bed at a certain time and don’t let them grow up sleeping with you.)
  • Talk a walk down the street/road/through the park, hand-in-hand, telling each other why you love them.
  • Share an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen, Chickfila or Sonic. Take your time and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Let the kids romp in the playground at Burger King or at the park, and the two of you hold hands, put your arm around each other (you have to sit on the same bench to do so!), talk, and tell your kids, this is your time. They need to learn to respect you and your space.  It won’t hurt ‘em!  After all, you are teaching them what marriage really looks like so they will be prepared when the times come for them to be married.
  • Spend some time under the stars and no cell phones!!!!!!!!!!
  • Cook a meal together.
  • Watch a bunch of funny, clean videos on Youtube and laugh and laugh and laugh, or stop by a local card store and read all the funny cards to each other.
  • Men, if you are having trouble coming up with what to talk about to your wife, here’s some help: Date Night Questions

Don’t make excuses for not dating!  All of the suggestions above are cheap, but marriage is not cheap.  It’s worth the investment!!  The key is having a time set aside in your weekly calendar that is reserved for just the two of you.

And . . . husbands, you take the lead in setting up and fulfilling the dates. This will speak volumes to your wife!

So, let this Valentine’s Day date either be the renewal of a great habit or another day of a refreshing deposit in your marriage journey!

65 at 65!

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Hiking, Joy, Love, Marriage, Ministry, Parenting, Pastoring, Salvation, Uncategorized

Today marks a milestone in my life…..my 65th birthday!!

And we all say, “Where did the time go?” I mean, wasn’t it just yesterday I walked to kindergarten, graduated from high school, got married, had children, preached my first sermon, got my driver’s license, etc.?

Looking back over these years, the following and much more comes to mind.

Continue reading “65 at 65!” →

Husbands, Love Your Treasure!

by Dale, posted in D & D Ministries, Love, Marriage

Proverbs 18:22 says, The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.

Yes, husbands, your wife is your treasure. As I mentioned in a previous post, The Treasure of Man, marriage is not the issue. We have sufficient grace to grow in Christ through the gift of marriage, and we as men have the privilege of responding to our treasure in many ways that honor God.

First of all, we are to love our treasure, our wife. Ephesians 5:25 reminds us, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. As Warren Wiersbe said, “Paul was lifting married love to the highest level possible, for he saw in the Christian home an illustration of the relationship between Christ and the church.”

What does this look like?

In one way, just as Christ set aside His prerogatives to be our substitutionary atonement and meet the greatest need in our life, the need of redemption and reconciliation (Phil. 2:5-8), we as men set aside our desires and agendas to meet the greatest needs of our wives in love.

One of the greatest needs of a wife is security. She needs you to think about her, consider her, confide in her, share life with her, talk to her, listen to her, be friends with her, hold her, include her, forgive her, accept her, be with her, do life with her, have eyes only for her, have fun with her, laugh with her, weep with her, pray and read the Word with her, date her, worship with her, be faithful to her, encourage her, walk with her, open the car door for her, check on her, text her, etc.

How marvelous to know of the absolute security we have in Christ in salvation that is the foundation for all of life and eternity (1 Peter 1:3-5; 1 John 5:9-13). As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love (John 15:9). We are His treasure, His inheritance.

Husbands, love your treasure! May she have the joy of abiding in your love!

The Treasure of Man

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

When a man takes a wife, he has stepped into one of the most blessed positions of life!

Proverbs 18:22 says, The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.

What an honor it is by the grace of God (2 Corinthians 9:8) and submission to God Ephesians 5:20) to . . .

  • Love this treasure
  • Protect this treasure
  • Hide this treasure
  • Hold this treasure
  • Invest in this treasure
  • Adore this treasure
  • Cherish this treasure

Even as age, sin, disagreements, sorrows, disappointments, hardships, decay, and illness etches its hurt on the heart and the outward appearance of your treasure, that doesn’t change the fact that God calls her a treasure.

Marriage is never the problem. God created marriage, and its good (Genesis 2:18-25). The issue is an old selfish sin nature that resides in both husband and wife, and the answer is to be what you became at salvation, I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me (Galatians 2:20).

Husbands, live in and by the truths of Romans 6-8, and you will be able to love your wife as Christ so loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).

She is the favor of God in your life. By God’s grace and the love of Christ in you, love her, protect her, hide her, hold her, invest in her, adore her and cherish her!

Kit Kat Ice Cream on the Scenic Route

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

Never think you have to always go high dollar to make investments in your marriage.

Having finished a peaceful hour sitting on the dock of a friend’s cottage in the middle of nowhere on Watauga Lake, I said, “Hey, let’s go to Dollar General, get a carton of ice cream, and head for Watauga Point to watch the sunset.”  No more had it been said, we were off!

The selection as stated by my wife was mint chocolate chip or something chocolatey. Well, the choices were slim, so Kit Kat Bar ice cream was it.  Hey, it’s ice cream.  That’s all that matters, right?

We parked, walked through the flock of geese in the open lawn and pointed our chairs toward the sun. With two spoons and a carton of frozen goodness, we ate, talked, watched the boats go by, enjoyed the beauty of a sailboat, commented about a small plane flying over the lake with the mountain behind as a backdrop, and took pictures of all the beauty around us!

Sometimes, spontaneity is a good thing in a marriage. Next time your spouse says, “Hey, let’s . . . .”  Say, “Sure!”

You see, we’re just two lovers in our middle sixties still havin’ fun on the scenic route in marriage, and we want you to as well!

How’s your trip? 

“Hey let’s . . . .”

Plans Change, Love Remains

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Ministry, Monday Ministry Encouragement

Monday’s Ministry Encouragement: Written to encourage you, my friend in ministry, to be refreshed and renewed as we live for Christ and look toward the Bema.

“She’s the pastor’s wife!”

Being married to a pastor comes with a multitude of blessings and challenges from every direction. Today’s blog post was written by my wife, Denise. I share it here today in hopes it will encourage the wives of pastors.

Please click the link and be refreshed! — Plans Change, Love Remains

The Month of Love (I, N, E)

by Dale, posted in Joy, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

Today marks the end of February but the continuation of building and blessing your marriage.

V – Value the grace gift of marriage

A – Advance your marriage through prayer

L – Love your spouse unconditionally

E – Energize your marriage

N – Nothing should come between you and your spouse

T – Take time to cherish your spouse

I – I must not get in the way

When troubling issues between a husband and wife descend upon a marriage, the default setting is to focus all the attention or blame upon the other person. When our “expectation comes from the Lord” (Psalm 62:5) for biblical change, then we must step out of the way. One of the ways to trust God for your marriage is to refuse to make things work, change others, and/or be in control. While you are praying for God to change your spouse and/or your situation, He has set out to change you, too. You can trust God for your marriage and your spouse.

N – Never go to bed angry and unrepentant

The Word is very clear about unresolved conflicts between spouses. Do not let the sun go down on your anger . . . . Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:26, 31-32). Please let these words of God soak into your soul and obey. Leave the results with God. Confess the idolatry of wanting your own way as you run to the cross of Christ. Here’s a highly recommended resource: Marriage Conflict, Talking As Teammates, 31-Day Devotionals for Life, Steve Hoppe.

E – Enjoy the journey

God said marriage was good before sin entered into this world (Genesis 2:18-25). For all aspects of marriage success and fulfillment, look to the Creator of marriage and trust Him day-by-day to grow you and your marriage for His glory (1 Corinthians 10:31) and for the gospel (Ephesians 5:18-33). Do not set your expectations on your spouse and try to change them. Take your burdens and the issues of your heart to the Lord in intercessory prayer (1 Peter 5:6-7). Take your focus off of what you want and what you expect from your spouse and say, “My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my hope is from Him” (Psalm 62:5).

If you have missed any of this series, just check out the previous posts. Set your affection on God first, soak your soul in Colossians 3 and may this gift of marriage be a tool of growth in Christ for the glory of God through all the joys, hardships, sorrows, disappointments, and pleasures!