Category: Love

The Day After Valentine’s

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Renewal, Uncategorized

 

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Valentine’s Day is always a very special day for married lovebirds!!  Red roses, boxes of chocolates, dinner dates, romantic venues, recalling of Valentine’s Days of the past, perfume, cards, terms of endearment left on sticky notes all over the house, pictures posted on Facebook and Instagram, communications of the degree of love for each other, and on and on it goes for this special day!!

But . . . what about today, the day after Valentine’s Day?  You put much thought into how you would express your love to your Sweetheart.  You went out of your way to purchase that perfect gift.  You fantasized in your mind the most romantic setting and fulfillment for this special day.  You wrote down your thoughts of love and appreciation in a card.  You made sure the whole world knew about it on Facebook.

All of this took intentional thought and effort.

This leads to me say one crucial thing about how to keep your marriage moving forward, to keep it hummin’!

You have to work at it every day! 

No, you don’t have to buy a $75 bouquet of flowers or have a candlelight dinner at Ruth’s Chris every day. You intentionally . . .

  • Verbalize your love to each another
  • Kiss (Eliminate the peck!)
  • Pray together
  • Hold hands
  • Look at each other
  • Seat your wife at the table
  • Pray together
  • Hug each other
  • Serve each other
  • Enjoy a 5-minute date in the pantry with the door closed
  • Leave love notes
  • Pray together
  • Share what God has taught you from His Word
  • Laugh together
  • Hold each other
  • Speak words of encouragement
  • Enjoy being with each other
  • Listen to each other
  • Pray together
  • Forgive each other
  • Make sure your spouse comes before your children
  • Make sure your spouse knows you love him/her more than the children
  • Pray together
  • Be gracious to each other
  • Touch each other
  • Pay attention to each other like your mate was Facebook
  • Wash her car
  • Pray together
  • Bake him his favorite cookies
  • Do the things you did when you were dating . . . even many years later
  • Keep having fun (Don’t grow old grumpy!)
  • Pray together

So, what are your intentional plans for your lovebird today, the day after Valentine’s Day?

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On the Same Page Together

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Love, Marriage, Prayer, The Bible, Uncategorized

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Yesterday I received my daily email from All-Pro Dad, and the post for Wednesday was entitled, 4 Areas You and Your Wife Need to Be on the Same Page

The four areas are:

  1. Touching throughout the day.
  2. Spending money wisely.
  3. Making big decisions together.
  4. Having an Open-Heart policy.

BONUS: Closing the day in prayer

These four things are spot-on, but what caught my attention was the title of the article and the bonus.  They describe the real need of every marriage.

The page that every marriage should work from each day is a page from God’s Word.

The bonus in every marriage, every day is prayer!

You see, God, the Creator of marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:18-25), is also the Author of God’s Word.  Therefore, for a husband and wife to be blessed and have an honorable marriage, they will work off the same page . . . the page(s) of God’s Word.

Since God is righteous (Psalm 145:17), then all His ways, counsel, direction, and wisdom is right.  You want to know what’s right for your marriage, then both of you work off the same page, God’s Word!

Husband and wives should read the Word together, share with each other what God teaches you each day-by-day from the Word, faithfully attend a Bible teaching and preaching church, be exposed to biblical preaching via podcasts or radio, attend camps and conferences where you can learn the Word together, and live your lives in accordance to God’s right path (Joshua 1:8-9; Psalm 1:1-6; 19:7-14).

Proverbs 14:11 reminds us, There is a way which seems right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.  Since marriage is the union of two selfish individuals whose way seems always best to themselves, it is most wise to walk in the counsel of God’s righteous Word.

The power and place of God’s Word is on display in Psalm 119.  Here’s an action plan. How about each day, you and your spouse read one eight-verse section from Psalm 119.  Take turns reading each verse out loud and stopping after each verse to listen to God and share with each other how that verse applies to your life and marriage.  Then jot down in a journal your thoughts, biblical plans, and the righteous path God has revealed to you as you read, discuss and meditate on the Word.

Finally, enjoy the BONUS—pray together.  Don’t just wait until the end of the day.  Find yourselves praying for and with each other throughout the day and night.  The absolute best place to go with your spouse is to the Throne of Grace (Hebrews 4:14-16).

Now, that’s really working off the same page!!

Clippin’ Grace Coupons in the Ministry

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Family, Grace, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

I do not deserve anything.  I am unrighteous (Romans 3:10) and a sinner (Romans 3:23).  How blessed (Ephesians 1:3) to be able to say with confidence, “I know I am saved by the grace of God” (Ephesians 2:8-9), to be able to sing “Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone,” (Colossians 3:15-17), and to rejoice in the assurance of heaven (John 14:1-6; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).

Another grace gift that I do not deserve is the blessed privilege of marriage.  That blessing is increased by virtue of God placing us in ministry together where we serve side-by-side. As I pastor, my wife is my faithful ministry companion who prays for me, disciples ladies and children, and makes our house a welcoming place to bear one another’s burdens.  In the midst of grace-enabled ministry, we both understand that our first ministry is to each other.

Therefore, in what is usually a busy time of the year, we begin the holiday season by visiting a local coffee shop.  There we pull out our calendars and schedule dates that help us set aside time to continue to build our marriage so we are fit to minister to others.  Hence, we are preparing to clip more grace coupons.

Yesterday was one of those dates and it included a trip to our favorite restaurant in Pigeon Forge, TN, The Old Mill Pottery Cafe and Grille.  We like it so much that while attending the Couples Advance in November, we enjoyed their scrumptious food three-days-in-a- row.  (We got others hooked on it, too!)

Then we spent the rest of the afternoon and first part of the evening in one of our top five favorite places . . . Dollywood.  How amazing to walk along hand-in-hand in the midst of a gazillion Christmas lights, sit through three shows that unashamedly gave the gospel, and to be entertained and welcomed in a wholesome way!  Oh, by the way, the coffee and warm, fresh cinnamon roll was good, too!  Brrrr, it was cold outside!!

Truth is, there’s no one I’d rather share these grace gifts of God with than my wife.  Sometimes, we are just like two kids again just soaking up the moment!

We returned home refreshed, blessed, closer to each other, and ready to clip more grace coupons as we minister to others today and through this Christmas season!  God is good!  Grace is sufficient!

Still Growing & Thriving After 62 Years

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized
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Dad & Mom watching a Hallmark Christmas movie.

“Well, don’t you look handsome?”

“Here, let me get that for you.”

“Want some popcorn?”

“Here’s a blanket for you.”

“Mil and I have shared many wonderful memories with each other.”

“I love you.”

These are statements that I heard over the Thanksgiving holiday from two people who are still head-over-heels-in-love with each other . . . after 62 years.  Dad and Mom are two sinners redeemed by the blood of Christ, daily needing grace to work at their marriage, and willing to walk in that grace for God’s glory and their marriage.

My in-laws have always been a marriage inspiration to me.  I am sure my father-in-law has his equals, but no one loves their wife any more than he does, and my mother-in-law simply adores her husband.  And yes, they have had their share of conflicts, gripes, hardships, heartaches, and other marriage related issues.

What causes a marriage to continue to grow and thrive even past 62 years?  Well, the answer is found in Scripture.  The answer is found in the daily application of the following grace-enabled commands and principles.

DAILY . . .

  • Soak your soul in the grace of God (2 Corinthians 9:8; 12:9a)
  • Love one another (1 Corinthians 13)
  • Serve one another (Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 4:10)
  • Walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-26)
  • Submit to God and one another (Ephesians 5:21)
  • Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
  • Forgive one another (Colossians 3:13)
  • Build up, encourage one another (Romans 15:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:25)
  • Bear each other’s burdens (Gal. 6:2)
  • Be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving toward one another (Ephesians 4:32,
  • Outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10)
  • Welcome one another as Christ welcomes us (Romans 15:7)
  • Enjoy the act of marriage with only one another (Genesis 2:25; Hebrews 13:4)
  • Make each word a gift not a gripe (Ephesians 4:29)
  • Be hospitable to one another (1 Pet. 4:9)
  • Pray for each another (James 5:16)
  • Imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1)
  • Grow in the application of God’s Word (2 Corinthians 3:18; 2 Peter 3:18)

Marriage is the creation of God and a gift from God (Genesis 2:18-25; Matthew 19:6; Ephesians 5:18-32).  He can help your marriage grow and mature as He so designed if you will submit to Him each day.  Furthermore, a marriage does not run on auto-pilot.  You must make more deposits into your marriage than withdrawals.

If your marriage has grown stale, blah, ordinary, or headed for trouble, then surrender your rights.  Get honest with God and each other.  There’s mercy and grace with the Lord (Matthew 11:28-30; Hebrews 4:16).

If your marriage is thriving, precious, meaningful, and fulfilling, keep doing what you have been doing each day.  Do not take it for granted.  Take one of the aforementioned list and work on it each day or each week. Enjoy the journey together with your eye on Christ and each other.

After our delicious Thanksgiving dinner, we went around the table and shared words of gratitude.  Denise asked, “Dad, what are you thankful for?”  His reply being a man of few words, “Many things.” And then with tears in his eyes, he pointed to Mom and simply said, “Her.” He didn’t need to say anything else.

Still growing and thriving after 62 years.

#mondaymarriagematterspart4

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Salvation, Uncategorized
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Continuing the journey of intimacy

Today I will end the week of posts with the last of six reasons why marriage matters (#mondaymarriagematters).

Marriage matters because of its unique intimacy.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25).

The greatest relationship in all the world is found in the redemptive, justifying work of Jesus Christ on the cross that makes us, who were at one time enemies of God, now reconciled to God, and no longer at enmity with God but set apart to Him for eternity (Romans 3:9-31; 5:1-11; Colossians 1:20-22).  That relationship is offered to all men by faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Christ (John 1:12; 1 Corinthians 15:3-4; Ephesians 2:8-9; 2 Peter 1:2-4).  The cross and resurrection proves that God the Father sent His Son to reconcile the world back to Himself to be restored to eternal fellowship (John 3:16).

There is another special relationship that cannot be duplicated on this planet in any other union except between what God has ordained between only a man and a woman.  That uniqueness is the intimacy found in a husband-wife relationship.  For intimacy to flourish in a marriage relationship to its highest level there must be integrity, trust, and openness.  Adam and Eve were completely at ease with each other at this highest level because at this point in the narrative there was no evil.  There was genuine, pure openness.  Even though evil abounds in our world and in our hearts (Jeremiah 17:9), genuine believers in Christ have the power through the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to experience blessed intimacy with God the Father and in marriage (John 14:16-23; 15:1-27; Romans 8:1-39; Ephesians 5:18-33).

Marriage matters every day of the week, month, year and your life.  As you grow in your intimacy with your spouse, you will be glad you took intimacy seriously.

Here’s my testimony to intimacy that I hope will encourage you: The Gift of 35 Years

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by Dale, posted in God's Creation, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

Companionship

So, what did God’s Word say to you as you considered from yesterday’s post that marriage is the creation of God, the Originator?

Today we will we consider the second reason why marriage matters #mondaymarriagematters.

Marriage matters because this is God’s ultimate earthly plan for companionship. (Genesis 2:18, 21-22)

God said that it was not good for man to be alone, so he gave Adam a woman, his wife.  Consider the following thoughts with me:

  1. The only thing in God’s creation that He said was “not good” was man being alone.

Genesis 2:18 “begins with the striking announcement by God that the man is not yet as God had planned to be.  Adam is alone, and that state is not good—the only thing in creation that is not good in God’s opinion.  Since the idea of ‘good’ describes that which is appropriate and fitting within the purpose of creation, the man’s being alone was not good, because he could not do all that God had planned for humankind.” (Allan Ross)

  1. Nothing else in the world completes a man, answers the “is it not good” situation except a woman (2:18-20).

This is God’s perfect plan from the beginning.  His ways and thoughts are transcendent and perfect (Psalm 18:30; Isaiah 55:8-9).  Adam did not find this completion in the animal world.  According to the divine, righteous plan of God, He “made a woman” for Adam (2:22).

  1. Both man and woman are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

This means that both man and woman are personal, relational, rational, moral beings.

  1. Each in their God-given role, man and woman, complete each other (Genesis 2:18).

The word “helpmeet” in the KJV means:

Help – one who provides what is lacking; not a demeaning term; God created man to need a partner, a wife.

Meet – one who corresponds to physically, socially and spiritually

So, how does this apply to today?

  • A husband and wife should be best friends. There is nothing wrong with a man having time with “his buds” or the wife having some “girl time,” but each should always long to be with their spouse over everyone else.
  • A husband should seek to understand his wife (1 Peter 3:7) and the wife her husband so they can learn each other strengths and weaknesses. This will enable them to “play to each other’s strengths” and support each other’s weaknesses.  Your wife is not your enemy.  You should each be looking out for one another, to help, to assist, to learn, to work together.  There you find completion.
  • The greatest way to understand companionship is to learn of Christ and His relationship with you through His Word in power of the Spirit. God made you for a personal relationship with Him, and you are to love Him with all your heart (Matthew 22:37). Therefore, as husband and wife draw closer to God, they are automatically drawing closer to each other.

More tomorrow . . . because marriage matters.

Men, Stop & Smell the Roses

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

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Marriage is hard work that requires attention every day, but it is well worth the effort!

Tuesday on our way home from vacation, it would have been easy and natural as a man to have just driven straight home.  A quick stop for fuel, coffee and lunch on the way; what else do you need? But, knowing how much my wife loves the flower gardens at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC, it would be a special ending to our vacation.  One of the things that we have practiced in our family since the girls were young was that our vacation begins when we leave home, and the vacation is officially complete when we return home. Therefore, even though our girls are gone, Denise and I still are trying to keep our marriage fresh and our home strong. So, we stopped at Biltmore Estate and walked through the beautiful rose gardens. I knew it would add an extra two hours to our trip, but to see the delight on Denise’s face and to hear the joy in her voice as she looked at all the roses was more than worth the extra time.   That joy would have been missed if I had kept the pedal to the metal and not stopped to smell the roses.

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Also, since we have season passes to Biltmore, there is a special park bench in the corner of the upper garden that has become special to Denise and me.  We just recently began a new marriage devotional book.  The initial challenge for the day was to “plant yourselves anyplace you can view a landscape and make some visual comparisons.”  This was to be done as we read the Scripture passage and the devo.  How awesome to have the mountains in the distance and the fragrant roses at our finger tips to fulfill this directive. To say that it was romantic is an understatement. To say that it was well worth the effort is again an understatement. What a great time we had sharing our hearts surrounded by the stillness and beauty of the garden.  Those moments of romance and spiritual growth would have been missed if I had not taken time to stop and smell the roses . . . literally.

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Men, we are so driven that it is often difficult for us to stop and smell the roses. Our “let’s check that off and move on to the next thing mind” causes us to miss out on some special marriage building moments. Our wife needs us to be thinking ahead or spontaneously just stopping and showing her that, “I was thinking of you.” I know it might take work for some, but it is well worth it. So men, stop and smell the roses. I promise you, you’ll enjoy the fragrance it gives to your marriage, and your wife will like it, too!

The Beloved:  “You are a garden spring, a well of fresh water, and streams flowing from Lebanon.” (Song of Solomon 4:15)

The Shulamite:  “Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; Make my garden breathe out fragrance, Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits!” (4:16)

“The fig tree has ripened its figs, and the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance. Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along!” (2:13).

A Marriage Moment

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

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STOP!  Have you and your spouse looked at each other today and communicated?  Have you expressed your love for one another?  Have you shared your heart with each other?  Have you gone beyond the normal, routine chatter of the day?  Have you hugged and passionately kissed each other today?  Have you prayed together today (meals don’t count)? Have you expressed gratitude for each other today?

Okay, now that you have finished with my questions, did you answer “no” to any of them? If so, GO take care it right now!  And if the answer was “yes,” GO do it again!

Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. (Proverbs 5:18)

To the People in the Pews: Love Works

by Dale, posted in Evangelism, Love, The Gospel

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There are so many things to praise God for in looking back over yesterday at Boones Creek Bible Church!  One of which was the official beginning of the Love Works initiative!  Through loving God with all our heart and our neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39), we want to reach the world around us for the cause of Christ.  With the Great Commission as our authority (Matthew 28:18-20) and Jesus Christ our example (Mark 10:45), we desire to accomplish the following goals:

  • Express the love of God through works of kindness and compassion (Matthew 9: 36-38; 25:40; James 1:27; Jude 22)
  • Share the Gospel of Christ with as many people as possible (Mark 16:15; Acts 1:8)
  • Impact our community as a body of Christ (Matthew 5:16)

In the days and months to come, we will be fulfilling these goals in feeding the poor, serving others in the public schools, public offices, restaurants, and college campuses, going door-to-door, serving through our Sunday School classes, basketball tournament, community clean-up,  etc.   The response of our people was so very encouraging today!! Thanks for all your suggestions as well!

A great illustration from Scripture as to how love works is found in the account of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37).  We as a body of believers will do as Jesus said, “Go and do likewise” (10:37). Love works, and it all begins in earnest next Sunday in the community around our church!!

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Church, Heaven, Love, Marriage, Men, Praise & Worship, The Bible

What a week this has been!  Winter raised its frigid head and blew in a storm of gnarly winds, bone-chilling temps, yet layered the ground with a pristine blanket of snow.  Quite, frankly, its just been another typical week in the life of a child of God.  And as always, it must be said, “God is good all the time; all the time God is good.”  So, here’s a few blog posts to end the week that you might find edifying, challenging, and humorous.  Looking for the Lord Jesus Christ to return today!  Will He find you and me watching and faithful? I heard Dr. Charles Wagner say many years ago in a sermon, “The imminent return of Christ should have immediate effects upon my life!”

Why Don’t Choir Members Smile

Three Reasons Why Bible Reading Can Feel Like a Chore

Fifteen Ways to Honor Your Wife

Our Home Heating Unit Is Broken and We Think It’s Funny

Only Just For Fun