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Men, Your Daughters Are Watching You
To balance the scales in reference to yesterday’s post, may I, from my heart, challenge dads to consider their impact upon their daughters?
God graciously lent us three daughters to raise for His glory. He saw fit to take our middle daughter before she ever experienced the outside world of sin. She was stillborn twenty-nine years ago. What a reunion awaits us in Glory when our family will be together again for all eternity!
In spite of all the trials, bumps, mistakes, tears, miscalculations, and naivety of raising two girls, I assure you that the blessings far outweigh all the aforementioned. We are richly blessed! But . . . it takes hard work, time in the Word, and MUCH PRAYER!!!
So with that said, men, may I ask . . . what are your daughters learning from you by your example and through your instruction?
May I strongly encourage you to go back through yesterday’s list and replace all the boy/son references to girl/daughter?
And let’s add the following.
- Men, do you want your daughters to marry a man like you? They are watching how you treat their mother, how you honor or dishonor her and what you say about and to her. They hear your vocal tones, your words of endearment or criticism as well as your body actions. Men, do you seat your wife at the table, open the car door for her, send her loving texts, bring her flowers, buy her a new dress, etc.?
- Men, do you “date” your daughters? Some of the best times of my life have been spent at a gas station eating a donut with my oldest daughter . . . an every Friday morning school day routine when she was in junior high, attending a Southern Gospel concert together, driving through the night to deliver a package to a plant in Chicago, etc. And then, there was the joy of a Starbucks chat with my youngest or the meal date before heading off to college or a meal date with both girls when they were in college, or a trip to Dairy Queen. Men, you need to date your wife and your daughters.
- Men, your daughters need time with you because they need your security, your listening ear, your loving heart, your connection with their lives. If they don’t get it from you . . . then they will seek it from some fella at school or on the internet.
- Men, do you encourage your daughters; do you affirm them? (Ephesians 6:4)
- Do you show them unconditional love? (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
- Dads, in an absolutely appropriate way, do you still hold your daughters, hug them, kiss them on the cheek, and express your love for them?
- Do you treat your daughters with respect or talk down to them?
- Do you bring them flowers every-once-in-awhile?
To my two daughters who are now married, how blessed to be your dad!! My heart is full when you and your husbands are able to visit and we gather around our table or sit in our living room, to hear the laughter, quote our Andy lines, share our joys and heartaches, laugh at each other and just be family. How awesome to see you continue to grow in your relationships with God and your husbands!!
Accomplishing anything good as a father is ONLY by the grace of God and His sovereign leadership.
Men, your daughters are watching you.
Here are two recommend links that offer further insight:
Men, Your Sons Are Watching You
Men, may I ask you some questions? These are not accusatory questions. They are truly questions from my heart after 35 years as a senior pastor.
- What are your sons learning from you about a vibrant, personal, daily, dependent walk with Christ? (Job 23:12; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 11:1)
- Have you taught your sons to pray? (Matthew 6:6-8; Luke 18:1)
- Do your sons know how to study and apply the Word of God to their daily life? (Philippians 4:9; 2 Timothy 2:15)
- Are you memorizing Scripture with them? (Joshua 1:8; Psalm 119:11)
- Do your sons bring their Bibles to church, use their Bibles during the message, and take notes from the message because you do? Do you discuss the sermon with them afterwards? (Ephesians 6:4; Psalms 19:7-14; 119:97)
- Do you and your sons sing with all your heart in church? Are you engaged mentally, physically and emotionally in the presence of God? (Ephesians 5:19; Colossians 3:16)
- What have your sons learned from you about serving in the local church? (Colossians 3:23-24; 1 Peter 4:10-11)
- Are your sons solid in their personal salvation testimony? Are they able to give a Bible reason for the assurance of their salvation? (1 Peter 3:15)
- Have you taught them how to share the Gospel with the unsaved? (Matthew 28:18-20)
- Do your sons have a critical spirit toward Christ, His Church, and other believers or are they deeply in love with Christ, His Church and other believers because of you? (Ephesians 4)
- Are you sons learning that you love Christ with all your heart, that you are seeking Him first, and that in all things He is the preeminent One? (Matthew 22:37-40; 6:33; Colossians 1:15-18)
Men, your sons are watching you, imitating you, and learning from you . . . and you don’t have to say a thing. The old saying goes, “what you do in moderation, your children will take to excess.”
Men, it is important that our sons learn how to work, drive a car, be a gentleman, and make a living, but it most important they learn about the One Who is Life and how to really live by divine viewpoint. When they stand before the Lord at the Bema, they will be so glad that Dad walked the talk and taught them eternal values.
My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
2 So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
3 Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
4 If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,
And find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
8 He guards the paths of justice,
And preserves the way of His saints.
9 Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path. (Proverbs 2:1-9)
I Met Jordan
Living in the mountains of East Tennessee gives many reasons for rejoicing and thanksgiving! The scenery changes every day and every season through the myriad acts of God’s creative, sustaining, sovereign hands. How often I find myself singing “How Great Thou Art,” and “How Great Is Our God!”
Yesterday while driving back from Asheville, NC, I had in my mind to stop along the creek near Rocky Fork State Park near Flag Pond, TN. Major rains had descended upon us through the night so I knew the waterfalls would be awesome, and it would provide a peaceful place to sit and commune with my God in prayer.
The Lord had other plans for which I am oh so grateful. When I turned onto the Old Asheville Highway, there was a bearded man with a full pack and hiking poles which immediately signified an AT thru-hiker. Since I love to hike, especially on the Appalachian Trail, this was a great opportunity in many ways! Upon offering him a ride, he threw his gear in the back of my car, and we headed for Erwin and Uncle Johnny’s. What a special treat to listen to his recent weather-related stories as well as the back-story of his life.
The very best part was the joy of talking about eternal life, listening to his answers, caring for his needs and ministering to him Christ Who has finished the work of salvation for all sinners including Jordan and myself. What a special privilege!!
Please pray for my new friend, Jordan, as he hikes the trail.
Meeting Jordan was the highlight of my day!!
Here are two links to his story and the reason for his AT journey:
Here is a video link for you to learn how you can have a personal relationship with God and know for certain your sins are forgiven and that you have a home in Heaven forever.
You Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks!
“I’m too old to memorize Scripture!”
I’ve heard that statement over-and-over again throughout the years.
Recently, a gentleman in our church has his restful afternoon interrupted by great discomfort in his chest and arm. He ended up having his heart shocked in the ambulance and at the ICU, his defibrillator replaced with a pacemaker, and a few days stay in the hospital.
While standing by his bedside, he said, “Preacher, I’ve been memorizing some Scripture. While I was in the ambulance, I had perfect peace because one passage that I have learned came to my mind.” He then quoted Psalm 107:1, O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever.
This morning while talking to his wife on the phone, she relayed to me something her husband said a few month ago. “There are familiar verses of the Bible I know, but I need some new verses.” Hence, he has set out to accomplish his goal.
His goal enriched his soul in a traumatic moment as the comforting, powerful Word of God came to his mind.
What passage are you working on?
Are you making excuses?
How has God’s Word enriched your soul today?
Oh, by the way, this man is 78 years old.
This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success. (Joshua 1:8)
Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. (Psalm 119:11)
Been There . . . Sustained
Memory flashback. Aware that the potential was before them, the truth of her passing yesterday afternoon hit my heart with an aching pain of grief for them.
Yesterday, dear friends of ours held their 26-week-old daughter in their arms and watched as she slowly enter Heaven into the presence of the One Who had created her. She, along with her twin sister, were born at 25 weeks and 2 days.
This family has been down this road before having seen their first son born at 22 weeks. The only difference, after many, many weeks in the children’s hospital, he came home. Today he is an active, healthy little man . . . a trophy of God’s grace. His younger brother was full-term and likewise is doing very well.
Why a memory flashback? July 2, 2017, will mark 30 years that my wife and I held the precious lifeless body of our second daughter in our arms. She was stillborn. I so well remember her little rosy cheeks, head of hair, and tender lips. My, how it hurt that night, just like I’m sure our friends hurt yesterday, and do today.
What sustains you in a time like this? In spite of the tremendous grief and pain, these truths hold you together. These were our rock in the midst of our storm. These held us together as we departed from the hospital with an empty car seat, and then arrived home to see a vacant nursery.
Psalm 91:1-4 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
2 Samuel 12:22-23 And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort.
Psalm 73:22-26, 28 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.
Romans 8:26-31 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Memory flashback? Yes. Tears, hurt, grief, and a hurting heart? Yes! Marvelous, unexplainable, sustaining grace? YES!!! A grand reunion awaits us and for our dear friends, too? YES!!!
Encouraging resources to offer further help:
Advance
There are many words to describe the various aspects of our Christian experience that is our daily walk with Christ in relationship with our Heavenly Father through the power of the Holy Spirit. Some of those descriptive terms include putting off and putting on, retreat and rest, keep on keeping on, press toward the mark, be zealous, and many others.
Last week I saw the word advance come to life. A group of ladies from our church attended a conference in Roanoke, Virginia, known as Ladies Prayer Advance. The gathering began on Thursday at 1:30 with a general session which included singing, prayer groups, more singing, and powerful preaching from the Word of God. This was followed by workshops and then a supper break.
The evening service began at 7:00 p.m. with singing, prayer, choir ministry, and the preached Word. The first evening session is followed up by one of the most important events of the conference, prayer meetings. Ladies gather with their group and follow the prayer prompt of what is known as CPR, Confession, Praise, and Requests. As they go around their circle in at least three rounds of prayer, the Holy Spirit moves in, hearts are convicted and broken. Honest and transparency abounds. The conference really begins here. Prayer meetings have been known to last all night.
My wife returned to her room somewhere between 11:00 and midnight.
Needless to say, when the Prayer Advance began again the next morning at 9:00, there were some tired ladies. Instead of listening to their fatigue, they pressed on through a whole day of preaching and workshops followed by another service after supper and more prayer time. Before lunch is one of the great highlights of Friday’s events called Sweet Hour of Prayer where you find a quiet place and pray for one hour.
Then Saturday morning rolls around with an 8:30 start for a workshop and then the final session at 10:00.
I have attended several Men’s Prayer Advances and have been the van driver for the past two Ladies Prayer Advances, and the same thing happens every time. By the time the Friday night service rolls around, the conference participants are pumped, excited, expectant, full of praise, clean before the Lord and walking close to their God.
This same spirit escalates into the Saturday morning final session, and my friend, I will tell you, it is a bit of heaven on earth!!!
Why does it happen this way? One word describes it . . . Advance! Although our earthly bodies through fatigue, excuses, fears, laziness, and unconfessed sin calls us to slow down, quit, go take a nap or various other backward responses, the grace of God through praise, prayer, and preaching causes you to advance. As each session and workshop moves along, the ladies are moving closer to the Lord! They are advancing! And of course, that is the way it is supposed to be as we read in James 4:6-8, But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.
I promise you, no believer has ever regretted drawing closer to God, advancing toward God and the things of God.
Yes, there are times when we need to retreat and rest, but advance should be a term to describe our relationship with God on a daily basis. Grace is sufficient even when we are tired, tempted, and tested.
There’s a song we sing in our church that describes what I’ve tried to convey in this blog post. Listen to it and . . . ADVANCE!
(Text by Chris Anderson; Tune by Greg Habegger)
I run to Christ when chased by fear
And find a refuge sure.
“Believe in me,” His voice I hear;
His words and wounds secure.
I run to Christ when torn by grief
And find abundant peace.
“I too had tears,” He gently speaks;
Thus joy and sorrow meet.
I run to Christ when worn by life
And find my soul refreshed.
“Come unto Me,” He calls through strife;
Fatigue gives way to rest.
I run to Christ when vexed by hell
And find a mighty arm.
“The Devil flees,” the Scriptures tell;
He roars, but cannot harm.
I run to Christ when stalked by sin
And find a sure escape.
“Deliver me,” I cry to Him;
Temptation yields to grace.
I run to Christ when plagued by shame
And find my one defense.
“I bore God’s wrath,” He pleads my case—
My Advocate and Friend.
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Ordinary Christianity
Ordinary, average, middle-of-the-road, uninspired, undistinguished, indifferent, unexceptional, unexciting, unremarkable, run-of-the-mill. These are all words synonymous with a word that means “of only moderate quality; not very good.”
That word—mediocre.
Mediocrity describes too much of daily life today at home, the work place, in businesses, churches, entertainment, and sadly at times in my own life. Yet, I believe that the worst place for mediocrity to raise its indifferent, ordinary head is in a born-again Christian’s life.
Consider what the Bible says about mediocrity:
Romans 12:11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord.
1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Colossians 3:17,23 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Simply put, a mediocre Christian is one whose thirst for God has waned over time, and sadly, he/she doesn’t realize it. Instead of giving diligence to his growth in Christ, to add to his original faith in Christ (2 Peter 1:3-7, 10), he has become barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ and is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins (1:8-9).
As we heard last night in our Men with a Mission weekly ministry, “Mediocrity cheapens the grace of God.”
Are you a mediocre Christian? Here are 10 questions taken from last night’s lesson to ask yourself to determine your level of mediocrity. Read each one carefully and thoughtfully. Do not rush through the list or be mediocre about it.
- Is your thirst for God growing?
- Are you more and more loving?
- Are you more sensitive to and aware of God?
- Are you governed more and more by His Word?
- Are you more and more concerned for others?
- Are you more and more concerned over the Church/the Body of Christ?
- Are the disciplines of the Christian life more important to you?
- Are you more and more aware of sin?
- Are you more and more forgiving of others?
- Are you thinking more and more of heaven?
When you are cold, you want to be close to the fire. How’s the fire in your Christian life? That will be determined by how close you want to walk with Christ. That will be determined by your vine/branch relationship with Christ (John 15:1-11). You are as close as you want to be; you are as zealous as you want to; you are as zealous as you want to be. God does not force His will on anyone.
The remedy for mediocrity:
For me to live is Christ (Philippians 1:21)
You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. (2 Peter 3:17-18)
When we stand before Christ one day at the Bema and our works will be judged, do you want Him to say, “Well done for being completely mediocre.”?
There Is No Other Answer
For years, every time I read two particular words in Scripture, especially as found in Ephesians 2:7, but God, my heart leaps within me! It is a resplendent sound of joy, assurance, perspective, and calm no matter what questions or circumstances of life may come my way! But God!
Try this. State your condition or question, then add the words, “But God!” For instance, “I don’t understand why I lost my job, . . . but God!” Go ahead, try it.
Soak your soul in just these few passages alone and then listen to the link to follow. Indeed, there is no other answer.
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive (Genesis 50:20).
David stayed in the desert strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands (1 Samuel 23:14).
My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psalm 73:26).
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast (Ephesians 2:4-9).
7 Reasons Why Pleasing People is Extremely Detrimental
A few days ago while paying my meal bill at Cracker Barrel, I looked over to my right and saw this sign. Customer service is number one for any business, and usually Cracker Barrel does a good job of reaching that goal. Also, I understand why it’s needed in the business world.
As I waited for the cashier to ring up another order, my mind began to whirl about those two words placed in such a prominent place in the restaurant . . . “Pleasing People.”
Can you really? How many people are there in the world?
Alright, let’s be fair, what’s the average amount of people who walk through the doors of any Cracker Barrel on any given day? So take that number and consider how many likes and dislikes each person has. Then add to that the changing nature of every man. Then consider what each individual desires in reference to food, food & beverage, food, beverage, and dessert, food and store products, and that food orders are changed often. I’m worn out already thinking about it!
So I ask again, can you really please people? Does the Word of God command us to please people?
Seeking to please people in a fallen, sinful world is like a gerbil-on-a-wheel! Think about it:
- If pleasing people is your standard for living, then you have made people your god. You shall have no other gods before Me (Exodus 20:3).
- Pleasing people promotes selfish living. We are exhorted to serve others (Matthew 23:11), but when we let our children or other adults be the standard for living, we are encouraging their selfishness . . . and ours.
- Pleasing people brings great frustration due to the many perspectives and desires on the part of those you are trying to please. No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other (Matthew 6:24).
- Pleasing people can become your personal self-esteem barometer. If people like what you are doing, then you are a success and vice versa. You forget that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:14) and as a believer, accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6).
- Pleasing people leads to an ungodly, disobedient comparison game. For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12).
- Pleasing people is a stress-producer. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid (John 14:27). Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? (Psalm 118:5-6)
- Pleasing people will always leave you with a wrong view of God.
The only thing that will overcome living to please people is to have a correct view of who you are in the sight of God. At the moment of your salvation, you are accepted by God through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:6). Your past, present and future sins have been paid for and forgiven by Christ taking your place on the cross (1 Peter 2:18-24). Therefore, you are justified by His blood (Romans 3:23-25; 5:1-8), and you have peace with God. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding (Ephesians 1:7-8).
Now, you no longer have to live your life thinking you have to please God to get Him to love you, reward you or bless you. You are already accepted in His sight through Christ (Ephesians 1:6); you are complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10); and you have a Shepherd Who leads you all the way to Glory (Psalm 23). Therefore, we have joy in pleasing our Heavenly Father because of Who and What He is and because His commandments are not burdensome (1 John 5:3).
When do we not enjoy pleasing Him? When we want to please ourself or others for wrong motives.
Paul, speaking about the gospel, said, For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ (Galatians 1:10).
Scripture is full of instruction on how to treat others, but it warns us not to be in the people-pleasing business.
Good-luck, Cracker Barrel!
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