Marriage Maintenance – From A Pastor's Heart

My wife is a planner, organizer, and a go-getter! I owe the warmth and coziness of our home, demonstrated in so many ways, all to her. And, she doesn’t just sit on her accomplishments, she maintains certain areas of our home with daily care. According to her, if she didn’t, “it would get away from her!”

This reminds me of marriage; it too requires daily maintenance. If not, “it’ll get away from you!”

What are some daily maintenance needs to keep your marriage moving forward in the early days and even after 40 plus years?

Touch one another. A warn embrace, a long kiss, an arm around her shoulder, holding hands, sitting close to each other at church, massaging her shoulders, etc. How easy it is to become mechanical and monotonous in your relationship. Furthermore, do not let your children and schedule drive you apart. Spend time daily in each other’s arms. If you don’t, your marriage will get away from you!

Listen to one another. Last night after supper, we sat at the dining room table and talked for 30 minutes or so. No one was in a hurry. We shared about the day and about a huge burden on our hearts. We connected and made an investment in our marriage. If you don’t, your marriage will get away from you!

Forgive one another. This is an ingredient that is so necessary to maintain your marriage on a daily basis. Because a marriage is made up of two sinners, grace and forgiveness are extreme necessities. Here’s great biblical counsel—Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32). This is an action that must be obeyed no matter the circumstances. If you doubt this is true, look at the cross. If you believe it is impossible, look in the empty tomb. If forgiveness is not a sweet (and sometimes hard, but always right) part of your marriage, it’ll get away from you!

What will you do today to maintain your relationship in a way that honors God and keeps your marriage from getting away from you?

My wife and I love to take scenic drives through the country. While often pointing to beautiful farms, well-kept houses and lawns, and the continual mountainous scenes around us, we are also greeted with run down houses covered over with vines and bushes as well as dilapidated stores that once held a consistent, thriving business. How does a house that was once new become an unpainted relic of the past? One of the reasons is simple neglect. Take several days of neglect, add them together, and the house is in disrepair. In some cases, it is no longer inhabited.

Image result for rundown house mountains free images

This reminds me of marriage. Marriage cannot run on auto-pilot. Every day, you must work at keeping your marriage fresh and up-to-date. Neglect is like a vine that grows up around a house that eventually takes over. Here are some simple daily maintenance tips to help your marriage stay fresh:

Say “I love you” often throughout each day and look at each other in the eye when you do.
Hold hands. Touch is invaluable.
Kiss often and linger every once in awhile.
Have prayer together before you leave for work in the morning and at night before drifting off to sleep.
Send a love note text during the day.
Be ready to meet each other at the end of the day; come home ready to make a connection mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Spend time together for 10-15 minutes sitting on the back porch after the kids go to bed.
Talk to each other; have much more than an adult/child conversation.

Don’t let your marriage look like a run down, uninhabited house! Remember, that house did not get that way overnight! Do your maintenance work today! Celebrating Valentine’s Day will be much sweeter, too! Enjoy!!