Tag: Marriage

#mondaymarriagematterspart4

by Dale, posted in Love, Marriage, Salvation, Uncategorized
Bike Ride
Continuing the journey of intimacy

Today I will end the week of posts with the last of six reasons why marriage matters (#mondaymarriagematters).

Marriage matters because of its unique intimacy.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25).

The greatest relationship in all the world is found in the redemptive, justifying work of Jesus Christ on the cross that makes us, who were at one time enemies of God, now reconciled to God, and no longer at enmity with God but set apart to Him for eternity (Romans 3:9-31; 5:1-11; Colossians 1:20-22).  That relationship is offered to all men by faith in the death, burial and resurrection of Christ (John 1:12; 1 Corinthians 15:3-4; Ephesians 2:8-9; 2 Peter 1:2-4).  The cross and resurrection proves that God the Father sent His Son to reconcile the world back to Himself to be restored to eternal fellowship (John 3:16).

There is another special relationship that cannot be duplicated on this planet in any other union except between what God has ordained between only a man and a woman.  That uniqueness is the intimacy found in a husband-wife relationship.  For intimacy to flourish in a marriage relationship to its highest level there must be integrity, trust, and openness.  Adam and Eve were completely at ease with each other at this highest level because at this point in the narrative there was no evil.  There was genuine, pure openness.  Even though evil abounds in our world and in our hearts (Jeremiah 17:9), genuine believers in Christ have the power through the Holy Spirit and the Word of God to experience blessed intimacy with God the Father and in marriage (John 14:16-23; 15:1-27; Romans 8:1-39; Ephesians 5:18-33).

Marriage matters every day of the week, month, year and your life.  As you grow in your intimacy with your spouse, you will be glad you took intimacy seriously.

Here’s my testimony to intimacy that I hope will encourage you: The Gift of 35 Years

#marriagematterspart3

by Dale, posted in God's Creation, Love, Marriage, Uncategorized

Companionship

So, what did God’s Word say to you as you considered from yesterday’s post that marriage is the creation of God, the Originator?

Today we will we consider the second reason why marriage matters #mondaymarriagematters.

Marriage matters because this is God’s ultimate earthly plan for companionship. (Genesis 2:18, 21-22)

God said that it was not good for man to be alone, so he gave Adam a woman, his wife.  Consider the following thoughts with me:

  1. The only thing in God’s creation that He said was “not good” was man being alone.

Genesis 2:18 “begins with the striking announcement by God that the man is not yet as God had planned to be.  Adam is alone, and that state is not good—the only thing in creation that is not good in God’s opinion.  Since the idea of ‘good’ describes that which is appropriate and fitting within the purpose of creation, the man’s being alone was not good, because he could not do all that God had planned for humankind.” (Allan Ross)

  1. Nothing else in the world completes a man, answers the “is it not good” situation except a woman (2:18-20).

This is God’s perfect plan from the beginning.  His ways and thoughts are transcendent and perfect (Psalm 18:30; Isaiah 55:8-9).  Adam did not find this completion in the animal world.  According to the divine, righteous plan of God, He “made a woman” for Adam (2:22).

  1. Both man and woman are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

This means that both man and woman are personal, relational, rational, moral beings.

  1. Each in their God-given role, man and woman, complete each other (Genesis 2:18).

The word “helpmeet” in the KJV means:

Help – one who provides what is lacking; not a demeaning term; God created man to need a partner, a wife.

Meet – one who corresponds to physically, socially and spiritually

So, how does this apply to today?

  • A husband and wife should be best friends. There is nothing wrong with a man having time with “his buds” or the wife having some “girl time,” but each should always long to be with their spouse over everyone else.
  • A husband should seek to understand his wife (1 Peter 3:7) and the wife her husband so they can learn each other strengths and weaknesses. This will enable them to “play to each other’s strengths” and support each other’s weaknesses.  Your wife is not your enemy.  You should each be looking out for one another, to help, to assist, to learn, to work together.  There you find completion.
  • The greatest way to understand companionship is to learn of Christ and His relationship with you through His Word in power of the Spirit. God made you for a personal relationship with Him, and you are to love Him with all your heart (Matthew 22:37). Therefore, as husband and wife draw closer to God, they are automatically drawing closer to each other.

More tomorrow . . . because marriage matters.

#mondaymarriagematterspart2

by Dale, posted in Marriage

20150506_200012

Yesterday’s post was the foundation for my writings this week.  Today, I want us to consider the first reason why marriage matters.

Marriage matters because it is the creation of God.  He is the Originator. (2:18, 21-22)

What does this mean for marriage? Since God created marriage, then His “Owner’s Manual” (The Word of God, the Bible) is the only place to find out exactly how marriage is to work.  Indeed, the Word is filled with many commands and examples for marriage that if followed would enable men and women to live to the fullest as God intended in the bonds of marriage, even in a sin-cursed world.  Here are a few examples:

  • Genesis 2:18-25
  • 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a
  • Ephesians 4:17-32; 5:21-33
  • Proverbs 18:22
  • Hebrews 13:4
  • 1 Peter 3:1-7
  • Romans 8:1-39
  • Romans 12:1-2
  • Galatians 5:16 – 6:10

Take one passage a day or work through a longer passage for a week.  Read it together, taking turns reading through the verses out loud.  Don’t be in a hurry.  Share what God teaches you, brings to your mind as you read through the Scripture.  Remember, the Holy Spirit is guiding you into truth (John 16:13) helping you to understand God’s plan for your marriage.  Jot down your findings in a journal.  Pray with your spouse as you read through the passage as well as afterwards as you confess, repent, and move forward with your biblical action plan.  Men, you take the lead in this endeavor.  Every issue you face in marriage is addressed in the Word of God!

And, my I remind you, your marriage is more important than your children.  So take the time to build up your marriage and create a good home for your children.

More tomorrow . . . because marriage matters.

#mondaymarriagematters

by Dale, posted in Marriage, Uncategorized

 

wp-1469565865430.png

Not too long ago, a #mondaymarriagematters Instagram thread began.  Every Monday, ladies post pictures that recognize something about their husband that is special to them and demonstrate their appreciation through this social media.  Why?  Because marriage matters.

Genesis 2:18-25    And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

  1. Marriage matters because it is the creation of God. He is the Originator. (2:18, 21-22)
  2. Marriage matters because this is God’s ultimate earthly plan for companionship. (2:18, 21-22)
  3. Marriage matters because of its unique distinction set down by God. (2:19-20)
  4. Marriage matters because of its unique role. (2:23)
  5. Marriage matters because it is God’s plan for the family unit, one man and one woman. (2:24)
  6. Marriage matters because of its unique intimacy. (2:25)

So, marriage matters on Monday, and it also matters the rest of the week, month, year . . . until death parts you.

How are you demonstrating today to your spouse and to God that His awesome, unique creation of marriage matters to you?

The Gift of 35 Years

by Dale, posted in Marriage, Uncategorized

wp-1466540721581.jpg

Monday, my wife and I celebrated our 35th Wedding Anniversary!  Someone asked me, in all seriousness, “Does it really feel like 35 years?”  Well, the truth is, yes.  Now, I really don’t know what 35 years is supposed to feel like, but I will tell what 35 years has provided that is priceless—intimacy.

Now, the world has its own idea of what intimacy is, but for a couple that has used their 35 years to get to know each other, I will say the world doesn’t have a clue.  Intimacy is that special private bond between a couple that only they can understand, express, and enjoy.  They have worked at communicating with each other over the years through words, actions, gestures, deeds, the good and the hard. They have opened their hearts to each other through trust, vulnerability, risks, and faith.  They have developed a love language that is only translated by each other.  They have created a sense of security within that bond that allows for freedom, rest, and assurance.  There’s an ease in each other’s presence that never carries any guilt or regrets whether you are on the beach, in the kitchen, driving in the car or in the bedroom.  They may be in a very public place, but in an instant, they can be in a private world that no one can comprehend.

Intimacy comes through daily giving of yourself to each other in serving, loving, listening, caring, gazing, and connecting.  It all began when you were first married.  You were connected to each other as you looked longingly into each other’s eyes and hung on to every word.  Nothing could seemingly break through the moment! As the years have passed on, you continued to date, talk, gaze, make deposits in your marriage, and work every day at that which only you and your spouse shared.  Today, that intimacy, that private closeness/togetherness, is so strong that nothing can replace it.  That’s what God meant when he said of Adam and Eve, And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25) This is pure intimacy on every level of marriage, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

So, does it feel like 35 years of marriage?  Yes.  35 years of a closeness that is priceless.  By the way, we are working today on 36 years.

Marriage Matters: Building or Maintaining

by Dale, posted in Marriage

 

Since my son-in-law was with me in Nashville Monday and Tuesday, our daughter decided to “camp-out” with her mother.  For entertainment, they took a video tour of the past thirty years of life in the Cunningham family.  I received a picture text of me when I was in my 30’s from my wife, and they were making fun of it!!!  Have mercy!  I understand. Oh, the changes that come with age.  Suffice it to say, when it comes to the covering on my head, it’s “hair today and gone tomorrow” for sure!

Denise and I have been married for 33 ½ years.  Much has changed for both of us through those years.  Bless her heart, she really didn’t know what she was getting into when she said, “Yes,” and “I do.”  Change is inevitable. Life happens.  So, how do you keep your marriage fresh through all the changes?  How can you still love to be with each other even after all the children are gone?  How can you laugh with and at each other in a good natured way?  The answer is, build your marriage every day and don’t live in a maintenance mode.  In other words, what have you added to your marriage to keep it fresh, new, rewarding and adventurous rather than just existing like you were living in the same old house with the same old carpet and the same old curtains with the same old moth balls?

  1. Pray together often and keep short accounts of sin!
  2. Kiss and hold hands every day!
  3. Live today as if it were your last day together here on earth!
  4. Do something fun together; get out of that rut! Act like you are dating again . . . because you are!
  5. Eat your supper together by putting a small table in front of the fireplace and be romantic!
  6. Read good books about marriage, such as Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich
  7. Learn to laugh again, at yourself!!!
  8. Go to bed at the same time (unless your work schedule interferes)!

These are just some simple thoughts, but as you age, there’s enough “going south” in our bodies to create issues.  At least stay away from your marriage falling into the boring maintenance mode.  Continue, by the grace of God, to build, create, develop a marriage that will last beyond the receding hairline!!

(The pic on the left is from my senior year in high school and the one on the right is something we have done for years and continue to do for a good laugh in the car!)

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Church, Heaven, Love, Marriage, Men, Praise & Worship, The Bible

What a week this has been!  Winter raised its frigid head and blew in a storm of gnarly winds, bone-chilling temps, yet layered the ground with a pristine blanket of snow.  Quite, frankly, its just been another typical week in the life of a child of God.  And as always, it must be said, “God is good all the time; all the time God is good.”  So, here’s a few blog posts to end the week that you might find edifying, challenging, and humorous.  Looking for the Lord Jesus Christ to return today!  Will He find you and me watching and faithful? I heard Dr. Charles Wagner say many years ago in a sermon, “The imminent return of Christ should have immediate effects upon my life!”

Why Don’t Choir Members Smile

Three Reasons Why Bible Reading Can Feel Like a Chore

Fifteen Ways to Honor Your Wife

Our Home Heating Unit Is Broken and We Think It’s Funny

Only Just For Fun

Marriage Matters: At the Altar

by Dale, posted in Marriage, Men, Prayer

While scrolling through my Facebook page yesterday, this beautiful picture brought back an extremely special memory.  Two years ago, my wife and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary at Whitestone Inn, Kingston, TN (Whitestoneinn). While strolling along through the property, we walked into this beautiful, pristine chapel. After surveying the building, I took Denise by the hand and we knelt at the altar.  I will never forget the tears, the joy, the offering of thanks, the reminiscing, the closeness to each other and our God, and the uninterrupted time at the Throne of Grace.

Men, why do we need to pray with our wives? 

1.  Leadership

We need to take the lead in prayer. Most wives are waiting for you to do so.  Even if she has been born again longer than you, she wants you to take the lead.  She loves to hear you pray.  She loves to hear you call out her name in prayer.  The issue is not you “getting all the prayer words right.”  The issue is Jesus Christ, Who makes our feeble prayers powerful and perfect before the Throne because He is our Righteous Advocate (1 John 2:1-2).

Men always ought to pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1)

2.  Intimacy

The greatest intimacy you will know is when you are bowing before the Throne of Grace acknowledging your need personally and for your marriage. Men, we must not be afraid to get honest with God in the presence of our wives.  They will respect you more for your transparency and dependence upon Almighty God as you seek His face for guidance, answers, and wisdom.

Bow down Your ear, O Lord, hear me; for I am poor and needy. (Psalm 86:1)

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.  For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16)

3.  Understanding 

Praying with your wife enables you to dwell with them in an understanding way, and it honors your wife, your sister in Christ. When you start praying with your wife and listening to her pray, then will cease the sad statement heard by men the world over, “I will never understand my wife!”

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

Men, you don’t have to find a chapel altar, although it would certainly be special.  If your wife is seated, you kneel at the chair, take her by the hands, and pray for and with her.  When you go to bed, take her by the hand and lead in prayer before you drift off to sleep.  When the call for prayer is heard from the pulpit, take her by the hand and go to the altar and pray with her.  If you are on a date, stop by a creek on that hike and have prayer together or in the coffee shop or in the car.  That prayer altar can be anywhere . . . because God is there.  Marriage matters at the altar.

Marriage Matters

by Dale, posted in Marriage, Men, Renewal

Valentines Date 2015

V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  That holds special significance to my wife and me.  Monday, we went on our special Valentine’s date to celebrate 36 Valentine’s Days together!  Because marriage matters, each day is an opportunity to grow your relationship.  As I’ve said so many times in the past, it’s the little things that add up to a big marriage!  Valentine’s Day is not a make-up day for a sad, little marriage.  It’s just one more day to make special and enjoy the gift of marriage!

So, while seated in the corner of the restaurant, by the window, all alone, Denise started V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  She took each letter and used it as an acrostic for why she loves me, using one word for each letter of the word valentine.  Wow!  Then I did the same with her.  Wow, again!  As we looked into each other’s eyes, at times it was a smile and then tears.  We reminisced, became nostalgic, and were removed from all other distractions.  Oh, the meal was delicious, but my memory from our dinner will be this special moment together.

Sometime this week, on your Valentine date or after the kids have gone to bed or whenever you are able to do so, look each other in the eye, hold hands, and share V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  Why? Because marriage matters to God (Ephesians 5:18-33).

For some additional thoughts, check out my wife’s blog post:  Improve Your Marriage Today

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, God's Word, Marriage, The Bible, The Gospel

Is Your Marriage a Picture of the Gospel? – Here’s a great read written by my in-law’s former pastor, Dr. Hershel York.  Very transparent and insightful.

What’s Really Wrong With Millennials – Thankful here for Joel’s thoughts concerning a subject tackled by many church growth blogs.

Gangman Style vs. Bible Reading – “Bible reading is a privilege, not work! How cool would it be to trade off a couple of TV series for listening / reading through the Bible this next year? Don’t do it as a burden or from guilt. It’s a privilege. Love it!”

Ten Things We Should Get Angry About Before Yoga Pants – And more than what this article is all about, these same people need the Gospel!!  The next time you get all fumed about yoga pants or Happy Holidays, ask yourself, “Did I share the Gospel with that person?”