Tag: Marriage

Marriage Matters: Go Look in the Mirror

by Dale, posted in Marriage, Men

Recently my father-in-law said something that I think needs to be repeated.  While talking to my wife on the phone, he recalled his growing up days of wearing his Sunday church clothes for dinner and throughout the whole day.  He continues to do so for the reason that it’s the Lord’s day and that’s how he dresses for church, but there’s another reason that bears repeating, “Your mom sees me in my regular clothes all week and out of respect for her, I like to stay dressed up.”

Men, what do you do out of respect for your wife?  Do you . . .

  • Keep yourself looking nice and fit for your wife? Just an interesting thought here.  We want our wives to look good, but we dress slovenly and with no thought for what she might like.
  • Open the car door for her?
  • Seat her at the table?
  • Speak well of her to others?
  • Clean up after yourself such as pick up your clothes, clean the bathroom sink when you are finished, put the lid down (you know what I mean)?
  • Compliment her in private and public?
  • Make sure her car is taken care of, cleaned out, etc.?

Men, if you aren’t sure, ask your wife.  After all, we are to be the best servants in our home.  Christ gives you His best.  Men, let’s give our wives our best (Ephesians 5:25).

Marriage Matters

by Dale, posted in Joy, Marriage

Many times my wife and I have sat in a restaurant or coffee shop and noticed something that occurs way too often—a husband and wife eating a meal . . . and barely speaking to one another.  Both have their faces drawn like an upside down sock monkey.  A grunt or a head nod is about all that is offered to each other.

Another sight is a couple walking through the mall . . . he’s way ahead of her and totally removed from it all.  She could turn into any store without his notice.

And then, there’s the ride in the car that is “Silenceville.”

Now, much could said in reference to these scenarios, but one that comes to my mind that is sadly missing in way too many married couples lives is . . . they have forgotten how and/or have stopped having fun together!  When God gave Eve to Adam, He said it was not good for man to be alone.  He needed a completer (Genesis 2:18-25).  They had wonderful fellowship in the Garden until sin entered in.  Now, joy can still be a part of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit and with that, the enjoyment of each other’s company.  No matter what your situation is, you can still laugh, chuckle, wink at each other, hold hands, banter back-n-forth in good natured fun, and enjoy life.

Couples, don’t let your job, children, mental attitudes of bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and resentment, physical condition, financial crunch, empty nest, etc., steal your joy, your fun.  Surrender your burdens to the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7), and let the joy of the Lord be your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).  God created us to enjoy Him and one another.

How about going to the local coffee shop and take a game with you?  Make sure it’s one that will create fun and not serious thinking and no laughter such as Settlers of Catton! 🙂 Or, determine the next time you have a meal together at a restaurant, just the two of you, that the husband is turned away from the TVs and the wife has her cell phone put away.  Laugh, talk, be romantic, share, and . . . have fun!!!!

 

Marriage Matters: Little Things

by Dale, posted in Marriage

Be Kind to Your Husband

Years ago I heard a song written by John Barber, “Little Things,” that I have never forgotten.  Within its lyrics you find, “Baby, it’s the little things that make me love you so.” Many, many times I have quoted that line to my wife. Let me quickly say that a good marriage takes work and attention every day.  A good marriage is not made up of a big Valentine’s Day gift or a huge birthday gift or an abundance of Christmas gifts.  A good marriage is made up of the little things that are done every day for your spouse; the little things that say, “I love you; I’ve been thinking of you.”

  • A text from work that reminds your spouse why they are so special to you.
  • Their favorite morning beverage brought to them right after they get up.
  • While they are in the shower on a cold, winter day, take their towel, put it in the dryer, and return it to them when they get out of the shower.
  • Write “I Love You” on the bathroom mirror with a dry-eraser marker.
  • Stop in the middle of the grocery store and enjoy a kiss right there on Aisle Four!
  • Just enjoy being with each other. Have fun.  Be all there in the moment.
  • Have prayer together before you leave for work.
  • Hold hands while you are worshipping in song in your local church.
  • When the invitation is given in your church at the end of the sermon, respond together by going to the altar and meet there with the Lord.
  • Sit together after kids have gone to bed and talk to one another for at least ten minutes.
  • Husband, seat your wife at the table and open the car door for her, even when you have children. They are watching and learning from you.
  • Look adoring at one another, a wink, a smile when you’re in the car or walking into the restaurant.

What little things have you done today?  Does your spouse know you really love him/her?  “Baby, it’s the little things.”

You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
10 How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
11 Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

(Song of Solomon 4:9-11)

The Making of a Man

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Evangelism, Family, God's Word, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Prayer

Last Tuesday’s blog was the first entry in the weekly series entitled, “The Making of a Man.”  As I said in that blog post, January 6, my heart’s desire is to see us be genuine, Spirit-filled, Christlike, servant leaders . . . men of God.  Obviously, to do so, we MUST be in the Word of God on a daily basis reading the Word and letting it read us.  Also, I mentioned that oft-repeated statement, “Leaders are readers.”  So, in today’s post, I want to share some book titles that have impacted me in my relationship with Christ, my wife, my children, my ministry and life in general.  Many of these books can still be purchased in book form, or as many of us do today, you can get the Kindle edition.  Men, let’s read the Bible first, and then let’s read other good books so we can be made a man of God!

Disciplines of a Godly Man, R. Kent Hughes

“The Christian leader’s vision of God makes all the difference in his life” (p.163).  I have read this book several times and have even used it with deacons and men’s meetings.

Disciplines – Kindle Edition

 

The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, Hans Finzel

“Top-flight leaders really aren’t born, they learn by trial and error.” (p.18)

“My greatest fear is that our best days were our past days.  I loathe the thought that we should fade into irrelevance” (p.71).

Top Ten Mistakes – Kindle Edition

 

The Masculine Mandate:  God’s Calling to Men, Richard D. Phillips

“It is virtually impossible to find a man greatly used by God who is not strongly devoted to prayer.” (p. 39)

“God intends for man to have a [wife] who bears God’s image along with man, and who with man can look upward to God and live for Him.” (p. 58)

Chapter Five, “Man as Shepherd-Lord,” is an excellent read.

Masculine Mandate – Kindle Edition

 

Power Through Prayer, E.M. Bounds

Here’s a little book that every man of God must read!!  A classic.

Power Through Prayer – Kindle Edition

 

There are many, many others, but these are just a few.  I’ll share more in later posts.  Men, let’s take the challenge to read, to share, to grow, and to make a difference for Christ wherever we live!

Blogging in 2015

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Church, Evangelism, Family, Marriage, Men, Pastoring

As I mentioned yesterday, a special thanks to everyone for reading this blog.  My heart is to simply use this medium of the internet to share things that I love about life and ministry.  Hence, I am refining this blog to cover certain topics each day of the week that I hope will edify and encourage; that will lead to biblical change; that glorify God; and that will show that life is worth living because of Christ.

So, be looking next week for the following:

To the People in the Pews (Mondays) This will be a follow-up to the messages I preach on Sundays with the purpose of helping my congregation make the needed application and taking the next right step in wisdom.

The Making of a Man (Tuesdays) I have such a burden to see men be the spiritual leaders at home, church, work and recreation; to win over sin; to be men of the Word; to be gospel-centered and gospel-communicators.

Marriage Matters (Wednesdays) Being married for over 33 years does not make me an expert on this subject.  I simply love being married, believe it to be the best thing next to my own personal salvation, and am very concerned about the lack of strong marriages in our world today.  Hence, I’ll be sharing all kinds of tips to make marriage a blessing instead of a dread.  Marriage matters to God; He created it.  He has an awesome plan to make it work for His glory and our good . . . and to be fun!

This-N-That (Thursdays) Here’s a day to share various things on my heart about life in general.

Friday’s Findings (Fridays)  I’ll continue to share links to good articles, tell you about a good book or resource, share music, and various other things that I trust will be of interest to you.

Looking forward to 2015 and all that the Lord has in store for us of which may be the year of His return in the clouds (John 14:1-6; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).  Therefore moving forward, let not your heart be troubled (14:1) and comfort one another with these words (4:18).

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Renewal

As always, here’s a list of links found through the week that may be of help to you to instruct, encourage, strengthen and/or bring a chuckle to your day.

The Needed Couples Retreat – Here’s some thoughts about the need for couples retreats as well as addressing some possible objections.  Anyone recognize the water falls?

What the Election Reveals About Us – An excellent post in view of Tuesday’s national elections.

Doing Hard Things – Every older teen and college & career guy/gal needs to read this.  Excellent, biblical advice for our day!   I linked this during the week on my Facebook page.  Parents, make sure you read it and your teens read it.  Perhaps, read it together at supper.

Why Every Christian Needs a Church Home

The Manhunt – One of my favorite Andy Griffith episodes.  Sit back, relax and enjoy.

Thank you so much for reading my blog.  I am truly grateful that you take the time to do so.  These writing and links are from my heart.  If I can encourage you, point you to Christ, help you, strengthen you, or just put a smile on your face, this blog has been successful.  Thanks for reading!!

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Church, Marriage, Music

Modeled Words of Wisdom – What words of wisdom do your children see in your marriage?

20 Ways to Be Refreshing in the Local Church – “Try some of these on for size” this Sunday!  You’ll see they fit because they are biblically practical.  What awesome services we will have this Sunday!

Bible Study Struggles – Here’s some sound, practical advice from Paul Tripp if your daily Bible study has gotten into a rut.  This is an excellent post!

He Loves Me – Four of my favorites singing a simple truth to encourage your heart today.

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Evangelism, Family, Marriage

7 Things Your Church Needs From You – Tim Challies writes one of those, “Man, I wish I had written this one!” blog posts. This is spot on.

Practical Evangelism Help – What if faithful evangelism didn’t involve anything extra but simply intentionally doing what you already do?

Making Time for Romance When Life Is Too Busy – This is one of my favorite marriage blogs. Here’s some practical tips that will help you add what is often missing in so many marriages today!

The Importance of Family Mealtime – “Our family table can never be replaced by a restaurant table!” This was a good follow up comment to this blog post written by my precious wife who went to great lengths to provide wonderful food and great memories around the table! Thanks, Hon!

It’s All in the Presentation – One of my favorite moments from the Cosby Show.

 

Making Your Marriage an All-Time Event

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Joy, Marriage
My wife and I have often said to others and reminded ourselves, “Marriage takes work everyday.”  Yes it does.  One of the things that we have tried to do over the years is make the ordinary an event.  Here’s what I mean.
A trip the grocery store:  Don’t just go to the store together to buy groceries and see how quick you can get it done.  Shop together like you are on a date.  In the early years, Denise and I would go grocery shopping at midnight.  We had fun! If an old love song comes over the intercom that takes you back in time, stop, look at each other and give a wink, share a kiss, or even a little dance on Aisle 8 in front of the Ritz Crackers!  Use grocery items to share a love thought just between you!  Laugh.  Hold hands.  Let the world know you are a happy, joyful married couple that loves the Lord!  Don’t be a bore on aisle four!  Make it an event!
Supper time:  Eat at home and not around the bar counter.  Turn off the TV, internet, and smartphones.  Play some romantic music.  Light a candle or two.  Use cloth napkins. When you are finished, play a game, read Scripture, and/or pray together.  Don’t be in a hurry.  If you have children, still do all the above.  They need to learn from you what a good marriage is all about.  Make it an event that your children will want to attend  when they are married!
Bring her flowers:  Don’t just bring her a dozen flowers and hand them to her like a set of car keys.  Go to the front door.  Ring the bell.  When she comes to the door, deliver them to her!  Add some pizazz to it!  Enjoy the moment!  Hugs, kisses, endearing looks into her eyes are good, . . . real good!!  See, you’ve just made it an event!
So, when it comes to the ordinary things of marriage, don’t just have a dry peanut butter sandwich; put some jam on it!! Work at it! Make it an event!

Friday’s Findings

by Dale, posted in Christian Living, Family, Joy, Marriage, Parenting, Prayer

The goal of each Friday on my blog is to share a potpourri of links I’ve found to feed your soul, encourage your heart, bring a smile to your face, and cause you to rejoice.

What Will Your Kids Remember About You?  Parents, especially Moms, will need this one as you come to the end of your week.  A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:12). A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

Be Yourself In Prayer  This is an extremely practical, well-written help for all believers as we engage in the best work.  Remember, prayer is only beneficial and accepted before God the Father when you go through the only advocate, Jesus Christ the Righteous One (1 John 2:1). Our goal is not pray perfect prayers, but to simply talk to our Heavenly Father through the Perfect One, Jesus Christ, our Great High Priest (Hebrews 4:14-16).  Share your heart, your burden, your praise, and let the Perfect One handled your prayers perfectly (Psalm 18:30). His ears are open to our cry (Psalm 34:15).

Marriage Takes More Than Love – A quick read with three practical helps for marriage.

Fall Foliage in the Blue Ridge Mountains  This is one of the most spectacular times of the year as God paints His creation with colors from His perfect paintbrush along the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Enjoy the pics!

The Zipper Story – Enjoy!