Friday’s Findings

Here we are at end of the week, and I’m sharing some blog posts that lead into Valentine’s Day.  Hope these are helpful.  I trust that your weekend is filled with many answers to prayer, opportunities to serve, and full of God-glorifying, Christ-exalting, Spirit-filled worship!

23 Things Love Is  – Here’s a good post written by Paul Tripp for you and your spouse to read through to see if you are really loving each other as God would have you to.  Be honest with each other.  It will do you and your relationship much good!

Love Is Not For Sissies: How Trials Make Love Stronger – Enough said; great post.

Improve Your Marriage Today – Here are three simple steps to help your marriage move on and grow!

Everyday Romance – How Sweet  It Is – This is one of the best blog’s out there about love and marriage.  Looking for some practical tips, advice, and ideas, this is it!  This post is a simple one that will keep romance in your relationship. Check it out and get out of your rut (if you’re in one)!!  Thanks, Debi, for all you work.

Marriage Matters

Valentines Date 2015

V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  That holds special significance to my wife and me.  Monday, we went on our special Valentine’s date to celebrate 36 Valentine’s Days together!  Because marriage matters, each day is an opportunity to grow your relationship.  As I’ve said so many times in the past, it’s the little things that add up to a big marriage!  Valentine’s Day is not a make-up day for a sad, little marriage.  It’s just one more day to make special and enjoy the gift of marriage!

So, while seated in the corner of the restaurant, by the window, all alone, Denise started V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  She took each letter and used it as an acrostic for why she loves me, using one word for each letter of the word valentine.  Wow!  Then I did the same with her.  Wow, again!  As we looked into each other’s eyes, at times it was a smile and then tears.  We reminisced, became nostalgic, and were removed from all other distractions.  Oh, the meal was delicious, but my memory from our dinner will be this special moment together.

Sometime this week, on your Valentine date or after the kids have gone to bed or whenever you are able to do so, look each other in the eye, hold hands, and share V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.  Why? Because marriage matters to God (Ephesians 5:18-33).

For some additional thoughts, check out my wife’s blog post:  Improve Your Marriage Today

Friday’s Findings

Is Your Marriage a Picture of the Gospel?Here’s a great read written by my in-law’s former pastor, Dr. Hershel York.  Very transparent and insightful.

What’s Really Wrong With MillennialsThankful here for Joel’s thoughts concerning a subject tackled by many church growth blogs.

Gangman Style vs. Bible Reading“Bible reading is a privilege, not work! How cool would it be to trade off a couple of TV series for listening / reading through the Bible this next year? Don’t do it as a burden or from guilt. It’s a privilege. Love it!”

Ten Things We Should Get Angry About Before Yoga PantsAnd more than what this article is all about, these same people need the Gospel!!  The next time you get all fumed about yoga pants or Happy Holidays, ask yourself, “Did I share the Gospel with that person?”

Marriage Matters: Go Look in the Mirror

Recently my father-in-law said something that I think needs to be repeated.  While talking to my wife on the phone, he recalled his growing up days of wearing his Sunday church clothes for dinner and throughout the whole day.  He continues to do so for the reason that it’s the Lord’s day and that’s how he dresses for church, but there’s another reason that bears repeating, “Your mom sees me in my regular clothes all week and out of respect for her, I like to stay dressed up.”

Men, what do you do out of respect for your wife?  Do you . . .

  • Keep yourself looking nice and fit for your wife? Just an interesting thought here.  We want our wives to look good, but we dress slovenly and with no thought for what she might like.
  • Open the car door for her?
  • Seat her at the table?
  • Speak well of her to others?
  • Clean up after yourself such as pick up your clothes, clean the bathroom sink when you are finished, put the lid down (you know what I mean)?
  • Compliment her in private and public?
  • Make sure her car is taken care of, cleaned out, etc.?

Men, if you aren’t sure, ask your wife.  After all, we are to be the best servants in our home.  Christ gives you His best.  Men, let’s give our wives our best (Ephesians 5:25).

Marriage Matters

Many times my wife and I have sat in a restaurant or coffee shop and noticed something that occurs way too often—a husband and wife eating a meal . . . and barely speaking to one another.  Both have their faces drawn like an upside down sock monkey.  A grunt or a head nod is about all that is offered to each other.

Another sight is a couple walking through the mall . . . he’s way ahead of her and totally removed from it all.  She could turn into any store without his notice.

And then, there’s the ride in the car that is “Silenceville.”

Now, much could said in reference to these scenarios, but one that comes to my mind that is sadly missing in way too many married couples lives is . . . they have forgotten how and/or have stopped having fun together!  When God gave Eve to Adam, He said it was not good for man to be alone.  He needed a completer (Genesis 2:18-25).  They had wonderful fellowship in the Garden until sin entered in.  Now, joy can still be a part of our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit and with that, the enjoyment of each other’s company.  No matter what your situation is, you can still laugh, chuckle, wink at each other, hold hands, banter back-n-forth in good natured fun, and enjoy life.

Couples, don’t let your job, children, mental attitudes of bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and resentment, physical condition, financial crunch, empty nest, etc., steal your joy, your fun.  Surrender your burdens to the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7), and let the joy of the Lord be your strength (Nehemiah 8:10).  God created us to enjoy Him and one another.

How about going to the local coffee shop and take a game with you?  Make sure it’s one that will create fun and not serious thinking and no laughter such as Settlers of Catton! 🙂 Or, determine the next time you have a meal together at a restaurant, just the two of you, that the husband is turned away from the TVs and the wife has her cell phone put away.  Laugh, talk, be romantic, share, and . . . have fun!!!!

 

This-N-That: 56

When I was kid, I thought anyone in their 50’s was old; anyone in their 60’s were really old; and anything beyond that was ancient!!  Well, today I am celebrating 56 years of life which moves me closer to the 60 mark.  As I consider the fact that I have more years in my rearview mirror than the front windshield, many thoughts come to my mind.  Most days I don’t feel old; I’ve gotten through recent surgery, and I’m ready to start running again; many times I still think I’m 30 something.  Nevertheless, the finish line is getting closer if the Lord permits me to live to 70 or more, or the Rapture doesn’t occur in my lifetime.  With that in mind, today causes me to consider the following:

  • By God’s grace, I want to stay faithful to Christ, my wife, my family and my Christian family.
  • I want our marriage to grow sweeter and sweeter each day as we grow older. May we never get calloused, uncaring, mean-spirited, or withdrawn.  Keep us warm and tender toward each other, holding hands, finger-dancing, winkin’ and smoochin’ until the end!!
  • Oh, how I long and pray that my daughters and sons-in-law are used to the hilt for God’s glory, and I will hear God’s “Well done” spoken to them at the Bema!!!!!!
  • I don’t want to grow old and be grumpy! May the joy the Lord be my strength!
  • I long to see the power of God moving through the local church in such a sweeping way that souls are saved and believers are extremely passionate about Christ, His Word, and sharing/living the gospel.
  • May I not be so stiff and rigid and wound up that I miss out on laughing and crying and rejoicing in all the good things that God has given and wants us to enjoy.
  • In the rest of my years, I long to see a huge number of souls truly come to Christ and be genuine, sold-out believers; followers, not fans!
  • May the impact of the Bema loom over my life in such a way that I finish strong!
  • I long to see my neighborhood follow Christ!!
  • I want to be used of the Lord for His glory and for souls until the day He calls me home!
  • May my heart become more and more tender and sensitive to the things of Christ and to people. Help me, Lord, to see the sheep as You do.
  • Lord, teach me to pray.
  • May I continually run to Christ.
  • Help me, Lord, to know when it’s time to move on. I never want to go down with a sinking ship because I won’t let go.
  • Keep me balanced, Lord.
  • I want to memorize more Scripture. If I can worry, I can memorize.
  • Let me run until I’m 70! Hike until I’m 80!  Race around Bristol when I’m 90!!  And jog the streets of gold when I’m 100!!
  • May the UK Wildcats win the NCAA basketball championship each year!!!! #BBN
  • Don’t let me miss out on any senior discounts! 🙂
  • May Dunkin Donuts Coffee keep America running!
  • I want to keep a burning heart for Christ, His Word, and the local church, His body!

So, so much to be thankful for in my past!! God has been so very good to me!!  The truth is, every day is getting better and the best is yet to come!! Click on the following link and see why:  What A Day That Will Be

Marriage Matters: Little Things

Be Kind to Your Husband

Years ago I heard a song written by John Barber, “Little Things,” that I have never forgotten.  Within its lyrics you find, “Baby, it’s the little things that make me love you so.” Many, many times I have quoted that line to my wife. Let me quickly say that a good marriage takes work and attention every day.  A good marriage is not made up of a big Valentine’s Day gift or a huge birthday gift or an abundance of Christmas gifts.  A good marriage is made up of the little things that are done every day for your spouse; the little things that say, “I love you; I’ve been thinking of you.”

  • A text from work that reminds your spouse why they are so special to you.
  • Their favorite morning beverage brought to them right after they get up.
  • While they are in the shower on a cold, winter day, take their towel, put it in the dryer, and return it to them when they get out of the shower.
  • Write “I Love You” on the bathroom mirror with a dry-eraser marker.
  • Stop in the middle of the grocery store and enjoy a kiss right there on Aisle Four!
  • Just enjoy being with each other. Have fun.  Be all there in the moment.
  • Have prayer together before you leave for work.
  • Hold hands while you are worshipping in song in your local church.
  • When the invitation is given in your church at the end of the sermon, respond together by going to the altar and meet there with the Lord.
  • Sit together after kids have gone to bed and talk to one another for at least ten minutes.
  • Husband, seat your wife at the table and open the car door for her, even when you have children. They are watching and learning from you.
  • Look adoring at one another, a wink, a smile when you’re in the car or walking into the restaurant.

What little things have you done today?  Does your spouse know you really love him/her?  “Baby, it’s the little things.”

You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
10 How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
11 Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

(Song of Solomon 4:9-11)

The Making of a Man

Last Tuesday’s blog was the first entry in the weekly series entitled, “The Making of a Man.”  As I said in that blog post, January 6, my heart’s desire is to see us be genuine, Spirit-filled, Christlike, servant leaders . . . men of God.  Obviously, to do so, we MUST be in the Word of God on a daily basis reading the Word and letting it read us.  Also, I mentioned that oft-repeated statement, “Leaders are readers.”  So, in today’s post, I want to share some book titles that have impacted me in my relationship with Christ, my wife, my children, my ministry and life in general.  Many of these books can still be purchased in book form, or as many of us do today, you can get the Kindle edition.  Men, let’s read the Bible first, and then let’s read other good books so we can be made a man of God!

Disciplines of a Godly Man, R. Kent Hughes

“The Christian leader’s vision of God makes all the difference in his life” (p.163).  I have read this book several times and have even used it with deacons and men’s meetings.

Disciplines – Kindle Edition

 

The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make, Hans Finzel

“Top-flight leaders really aren’t born, they learn by trial and error.” (p.18)

“My greatest fear is that our best days were our past days.  I loathe the thought that we should fade into irrelevance” (p.71).

Top Ten Mistakes – Kindle Edition

 

The Masculine Mandate:  God’s Calling to Men, Richard D. Phillips

“It is virtually impossible to find a man greatly used by God who is not strongly devoted to prayer.” (p. 39)

“God intends for man to have a [wife] who bears God’s image along with man, and who with man can look upward to God and live for Him.” (p. 58)

Chapter Five, “Man as Shepherd-Lord,” is an excellent read.

Masculine Mandate – Kindle Edition

 

Power Through Prayer, E.M. Bounds

Here’s a little book that every man of God must read!!  A classic.

Power Through Prayer – Kindle Edition

 

There are many, many others, but these are just a few.  I’ll share more in later posts.  Men, let’s take the challenge to read, to share, to grow, and to make a difference for Christ wherever we live!

Blogging in 2015

As I mentioned yesterday, a special thanks to everyone for reading this blog.  My heart is to simply use this medium of the internet to share things that I love about life and ministry.  Hence, I am refining this blog to cover certain topics each day of the week that I hope will edify and encourage; that will lead to biblical change; that glorify God; and that will show that life is worth living because of Christ.

So, be looking next week for the following:

To the People in the Pews (Mondays) This will be a follow-up to the messages I preach on Sundays with the purpose of helping my congregation make the needed application and taking the next right step in wisdom.

The Making of a Man (Tuesdays) I have such a burden to see men be the spiritual leaders at home, church, work and recreation; to win over sin; to be men of the Word; to be gospel-centered and gospel-communicators.

Marriage Matters (Wednesdays) Being married for over 33 years does not make me an expert on this subject.  I simply love being married, believe it to be the best thing next to my own personal salvation, and am very concerned about the lack of strong marriages in our world today.  Hence, I’ll be sharing all kinds of tips to make marriage a blessing instead of a dread.  Marriage matters to God; He created it.  He has an awesome plan to make it work for His glory and our good . . . and to be fun!

This-N-That (Thursdays) Here’s a day to share various things on my heart about life in general.

Friday’s Findings (Fridays)  I’ll continue to share links to good articles, tell you about a good book or resource, share music, and various other things that I trust will be of interest to you.

Looking forward to 2015 and all that the Lord has in store for us of which may be the year of His return in the clouds (John 14:1-6; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18).  Therefore moving forward, let not your heart be troubled (14:1) and comfort one another with these words (4:18).

Cat-Fights and Conflicts

My wife and I had just left the veterinarian’s office with our cat, Liza Jane, safely tucked in a towel and content in my wife’s arms. Despite the trauma of two shots and a cold table to lie on, she was in purr-mode.  I had earlier announced to Denise that I would go across the street to the dry cleaners.  As I drove past a car parked near the row of stores, I saw two individuals tussling in the front seat.  I thought for a moment they were just having a bit of good-natured fun.  I parked right in front of the cleaners, got out, and then saw there was nothing good-natured about this situation.  Here was a girl in her 20’s and a woman in her late 50’s-early 60’s havin’ at it!  Hay-makers were being thrown, hair was being pulled, profanity was being slurred, and the older woman was prevailing.   I walked over and commanded them to stop, or I would call the police.  Finally, they ceased their foolishness. I really didn’t count on leaving the vet’s office to see a real live “cat-fight!” Once I had their attention, I began to share the gospel with them, to which the young girl said in an angry, loud voice, “I am a Christian!” which was echoed by the older woman as well.  Wow!  Really?

This was such a sad scene.  I told my wife on our way back to the country, “This is how many, many people across America handle their problems—fighting, arguing, name-calling, and raising their voices at each other.”  Sadly this includes husbands, wives, children, family members, co-workers, drivers, football players, etc.  My heart breaks to think of what really goes on behind the closed curtained windows of so many homes in our land as well as other places.

Where does this come from?  As in every case of life, you have to go to the Word of God for the answer.

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions (James 4:1-3).

Have you ever been in a conflict?  Have you ever dealt with unmet expectations?  Have you been wronged, mistreated, in a fight, in a marital conflict, in a church misunderstanding, in a shoving match, in a family dispute, had someone cut you off in traffic, etc?  I plead with you to take some time and work your way through this linked study seen below.  As you dig into the Word and answer the questions, you will see the root of the issue, understand the remedy and see how to make biblical changes through the power of the Holy Spirit and the grace of God.

Getting To the Heart of Conflict

The heart of every issue is an issue of the heart.  The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

Searching my own heart, grateful for my sweet wife, and . . . petting Liza Jane.